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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“9yŒ´‘čzThe Poker Game

Ooh, Chicago! There is this pizza place called Gazzola's. It's fantastic. It was closed down for a while, but it just reopened.

I'm sure they got a Godzilla's in New York. We're not stopping. It's just pizza.

Just... pizza? Let me tell you about the thing you say is just pizza. We begin with the first bite. Oh, the crunch! And then the marinara. That roiling lava of tomato and oregano... it overtakes you! I'm falling! And that's.... when she catches you. That chewy, voluptuous mistress, Mozzarella. Her oven-kissed cheeks crackle with warmth in your mouth, cradling the sauce and the bread, letting you know that from now on... this... is home. This pizza... is home.

chewy ˜‚Ě‚ ‚é voluptuous “÷Š´“I‚Č crackle ‚Ď‚ż‚Ď‚ż‰š‚𗧂Ăé cradle ‚ ‚₡

If it was so delicious, why'd they close it in the first place?

Rats.

We're not stopping!

This road trip sucks!

Barney's bachelor poker game was winding down. Tim Gunn, out. Lily, busted. Marshpillow, fluffed and turned down. We were playing what we thought was our final hand, and it was getting intense.

Action to Ranjit. Ranjit, action to you.

What?!

Hey, Ted, thanks again for your gift. He gave us a framed photo of all of us at the bar, and he's getting us two other wedding gifts.

What can I say? I just love giving wedding gifts. I love giving wedding gifts so much, I wish I could marry giving-wedding-gifts, and then get myself and giving-wedding-gifts a wedding gift. Maybe saying things like that's why I am not married.

Oh you know what? I should explain why Lily was angry. Six years earlier, a few weeks after their wedding, Marshall and Lily were going through their wedding gifts.

Well, that's weird. Did Ted get us anything?

Come on, Lily. Ted... Ted's our best friend. If his gift hasn't arrived yet, it's on the way.

But time passed, and no gift arrived. Finally, Marshall started dropping hints.

Hey, man, it was great having you at our wedding.

Thanks, Bro, and thanks for this coffee. It is great.

You were not wedding absent. No, sir. You were wedding present.

Do I detect a note of hazelnut?

detect a note of Ř‚ƍl‚Ś‚é

Wedding present.

I think he got it.

But I didn't get it. More months passed. His hints got more desperate.

Happy Halloween!

Yeah. What-what are you supposed to be?

Well, I'm a wedding present, Ted! How could you not get me a wedding present? I mean, how could you not get that I am a wedding present? Get me? A wedding present! Get me a wedding present.

Why isn't he getting it?!

I don't know. Why didn't you get the message to dress up like a pregnant teenager, home skillet?

But he kept on waiting until the summer of 2008 when I got engaged.

So Ted's getting married, huh? Bet he'd love a gift from his old pal Marshall. Well, he can forget it!

We're getting them a gift.

But Lily, this is the dream. This is the whole reason we wanted Ted to get married. So we could not give him a wedding gift, and he would know exactly how it feels!

Baby, I'm as pissed as you are, but we're getting them a gift. We have to.

Fine. We'll get them a gift. A gift that'll send a message loud and clear. A gift-wrapping station! This time, he has to get it.

loud and clear ƒnƒbƒLƒŠ‚Ć‚ľ‚˝

And not long after that, a package arrived.

Oh, well, well, well. Package from one Mr.Ted Mosby. It's a little late, but... What the balls is this?!

It-It's a thank you note for the gift-wrapping station.

Which explains the face.

Wedding gift.

Hey, Barney. I've got a wedding gift for you, too. Don't get married. In fact, it comes in His and Hers. Don't get married! Don't get married!

I'm not cheating! Don't tell anyone! I'll cut you in on half!

Hey, Barney, can you ask James to stop crapping all over marriage?

He's not crapping on marriage.

He literally drew this on the toilet.

Come on, Robin. Please don't ask me to pick sides. In two days, he's gonna be your brother, too. Just be honest and tell him what's bothering you.

pick sides “ń‘g‚É•Ş‚Š‚ę‚é

Okay.

Marshall, are you...? Hey, Andretti! Beat it! Marshall, are you sitting down?

Well, I'm in a car, and you were pretty clear about the No-Teen-Wolfing Now-That-I'm-A-Dad rule, so, yeah, I'm sitting down.

Ted is getting Barney and Robin three wedding gifts!

I hate him. Lily, requesting permission to make a stink?

make a stink ‘›‚Ź—§‚Ä‚é

Stink away!

Hurry up and get it over with.

get over with I‚Ś‚é

Oh, that's Marshall. I should take this. Well, call me Akira Yoshizawa. World's most famous origamist? I fold.

Barney, here's a good one. What's the difference between a Journey song and a husband? A Journey song has a climax. I'm sorry, Robin. I'm just messing with you. Raise a hundred.

No, it's fine. It's just funny hearing all this anti-marriage stuff from a divorced guy who still wears his wedding ring.

What, this? Only wear it because, nothing attracts a gay guy faster than a wedding ring. Except saying hi to him. Or being in the same room, or every app on my phone. People, it is a good time to be gay.

So you can just... you can take that ring off anytime you want?

Anytime.

I'm all in. And raise you... one ring.

Ooh!

Fine. It's just a ring.

Okay, let's see what you got. Robin has three jacks, James has... just shy of a pair of a sixes.

Thank you.

I'm gonna hit the gym. Let me know if you want to get some dinner later.

Oh, we'll give you a ring, just not this one. Ho!

You, Ted Mosby, never got me and Lily a wedding gift! J'accuse!

I did, too, get you a gift! It was a coffeemaker, and you never sent me a thank you note!

Oh. So-so... me-cuse?

You-cuse!

Robin, when I said, Be honest and say what's bothering you, I meant, stuff it down and never do anything about it. How did you not get that?

It's fine. He's a grown-up.

What did you do to my little boy?

Hi, Mom.

You get your brother's ring back!

Mom, please don't make me take sides!

That's your brother out there. You two shared bunk beds and baseball mitts, and, when you were hungry, these supple breasts. Arguably a little too long. Stinsons stand up for each other. Take care of this! I... I'm gonna play some cards. All right, chumps. I'm gonna tell you what I told Frampton's guitar tech when he couldn't find a condom. Let's gamble.

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