Narrator: Kids, the early bloom of a romance is a wonderful thing. You meet someone, you have a connection, and that person becomes sheer perfection in your eyes. You just can't find anything wrong with them. And you can't wait to tell the world about it.
bloom 花盛り sheer 純粋な perfection 完成
Barney: She convinced you to go jogging? Wow, you really want to get in this girl's pants.
Ted: I'm telling you, you guys are gonna love her. Lily, she knows all about art. Marshall, she's open to the existence of UFOs. Barney, she's hot. Robin, she's not hotter than you.
Barney: Like her already.
Robin: How not hotter?
Narattor: So we all went out to dinner, and I couldn't wait to see if my friends were as crazy about Cathy as I was.
Ted: So, what's everyone getting?
Cathy: Well, I can't decide. Which sounds better, chicken or lasagna?
Robin: Lasagna. Just get the lasagna!
Cathy: Oh. You guys just got a new place. How many bedrooms is it?
Lily: Two. It's two bedrooms!
Ted: Okay! Let's hear it. What's wrong with Cathy?
Barney: Are you kidding me, Ted? She's got a...
Lily: Wait! You don't notice it?
Ted: Notice what?
Lily: Oh, he doesn't see it. If we point it out, we're gonna ruin her for him. As his friends, we'll just keep him in the dark.
point out 指摘する
Barney: You're right. She's great, man.
Robin: She's a keeper. Just... keep her somewhere else.
Ted: Marshall, what is everyone's problem with Cathy?
Marshall: Oh, she's a total nightmare, Ted, but can we talk about this later? I'm a minute away from finding out if I'm gonna be a lawyer or not.
Narrator: You see, kids, during the summer, Marshall had taken the New York Bar exam. His years of school, his countless hours of study, had finally culminated in this grueling, two-day ordeal.
culminate クライマックスに達する grueling 過酷な ordeal 試練
Guy: And... begin.
Narrator: The pressure of it was enormous. Every year, people taking the bar simply cracked. But Marshall had made it through.
Guy: And... time.
Guy: Time's up.
Guy: Time. Sir.
Marshall: I know.
Guy: Your time is...
Marshall: I know it is.
Guy: Give me...!
Narrator: Now, months later, the results of that exam were scheduled to post online at 10:00, and it was 9:59.
Marshall: Damn, they're not up yet.
Lily: Oh, don't worry, baby. I'm sure you rocked it.
Robin: I mean, how many people fail the bar?
Robin: Oh, my God, half? Only half the people pass? I mean, half the people pass. That's fantastic. Go, Marshall.
Barney: Oh, hey, can I jump on there? I want to show you something awesome.
Marshall: What? No, no. Bar results. My future.
Barney: Trust me. You need to see this.
Marshall: What is so important that I need to see it right now?
Barney: It's a video of a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: How do I need to see that? Why would I want to see that? In what possible way could subjecting my eyes and my brain to something that disgusting enrich my life?
in what way どういうふうに disgusting うんざりさせる enrich 強化する
Barney: It's a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: Get away from my computer.
Barney: Okay, just do a quick Google search for "caca spaniel."
Marshall: The results are in.
Lily: Whoo. What's it say?
Marshall: "Input password."
Lily: Input the password !
Marshall: It's okay. They assigned it to me when I took the test. It's gotta be around here somewhere. Here. Here-here-here-here. Jelly beans, fluffernutter, Gummi Bears, ginger snaps... This is a grocery list.
Robin: For who? A witch building a house in the forest?
Marshall: Sugar helps me study.
Barney: This is like the shopping a ten-year-old does when his parents leave him alone for the weekend.
Lily: What parent leaves a ten- year-old alone for the weekend?
Barney: And your mom was perfect.
Marshall: I can't find my password!
Ted: Okay, just... can't you let 'em know that you lost it and they'll e-mail it to you or something?
Marshall: No! They won't let me do that. I'm gonna have to wait till the results come in the regular mail. That could be weeks from now, if ever! Our mail carrier hates me ever since I asked her when the baby was due.
Robin: She wasn't pregnant?
Ted: No, he was not.
Robin: Okay, well, that's a drag, but the results will come eventually. Just try to keep it off your mind until then.
that's a drag それは面倒だね
Marshall: Hey, Brad.
Marshall: Oh, congratulations, man. I'm, uh... I'm not sure yet. I... lost my password.
Marshall: That's great, Cara. I don't know yet. I lost my password.
Marshall: I don't know how I lost it! This stuff happens! You're one to talk. You misplace stuff all the time. I'm sorry. I'm sure the nurses are stealing your medicine, Grandma. Love you, too.
You're one to talk あなたにもそんなところがありますよ
Marshall: If I have to wait six weeks to find out if I passed, I'm gonna have a heart attack.
Barney: Based on that grocery list, I'd say diabetes is a bigger worry.
Marshall: You know what? Laugh all you want. This affects my whole future, all right?
Barney: Okay. I probably shouldn't be telling you this. I definitely shouldn't be telling you this, but there is a way I can help you with your problem.
Barney: I know a guy at work. He can get access to software designed to penetrate firewalls and retrieve passwords through secure servers. I can get into any computer.
Marshall: So what do we do? Like, arrange a secret meeting in a darkened parking structure?
Marshall: Can we?
Marshall: I have a trench coat.
Barney: Dude, be cool.
Ted: So, I just got off the phone with Cathy. God, you guys are so right. I totally hear it now. See it now? Smell it? What is it?! I left the table for two minutes. What could she have possibly done in that time that was so horrible? Was it...
Ted: I'll be back in one second.
Cathy: One time, in the tenth grade, as a joke, I told everyone that my English teacher had sex with me. He's still in jail.
Ted: Or maybe...
Ted: I'll be back in a second.
Cathy: So I volunteer at the pound.
Lily: Oh, isn't that nice?
Cathy: Yeah. You can't imagine the rush you get from killing an unwanted puppy. I make bracelets out of the collars.
Ted: I'll be back in one second.
Cathy: I bet he's going to the urinal. Yeah. I remember when I had a penis.
Robin: It wasn't anything she did while you were in the bathroom. It's just the way she is.
Ted: I don't get it. If it's so obvious and you guys all see it, how come I don't?
Lily: 'Cause we're not trying to have sex with her.
Marshall: Brother, you're driving the "I want to have sex with her" truck, and it's got a huge blind spot.
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Is it really? Ted, let me tell you a little story about a young lady I wanted to have sex with... Lucilia. On a white sand beach in Rio de Janeiro, we made love for ten straight hours. When we were done, she applauded and told me I was far, far better than the best lover she could possibly imagine, and that I had restored her faith in God.
Ted: What does this have to do with Cathy?
Barney: Who's Cathy?