Later that day, we celebrated our first successful intervention.
I am really proud of us for helping Stewart.
Yeah, what an amazing honest, human moment.
I agree.Yay us.
Marshall, are you really gonna keep wearing that hat?
Yeah, it's been two weeks, Marshall.
Two awesome weeks And heck, yeah, I'm gonna keep wearing it.
This is an intervention.
It's about the hat.
I have it under control, okay?I can take it off whenever I want to.
Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat.I want to beat it with a bat.Or maybe stab it with a fork.It makes you look like such a dork.
After that, Interventions became a pretty regular thing around our apartment.
Cor blimey.This is a nice bloody surprise.What's this about then?
Cor blimey これは驚いた！ bloody 忌々しい
Lily It's about the weird fake english accent.
Spray tan?They reel you in with a coupon, and then you just get hooked.
We know, sweetie, we know.This is a new sweater.
The magic tricks.
Specifically, those involving fire.
Magic tricks?Guys, interventions are supposed to help people, not attack every little thing you don't like about them.I'm sorry, but that really steams me.That really burns me up!I mean, I am filled with a white-hot rage!Thank you.Oh, shoot.
steam をカーッと怒らせる white-hot 熱烈な
I smell hair!
I smell hair!
And that's the story of the scorch mark.
Wait, that's weird.When I was going through the closet, I thought I saw the intervention banner.
So, the banner burned up.Why is there a new one?And there are sealed letters here from all of you that say "Ted.Were you guys planning an intervention for me?
That that was stupid.Yeah, just, just forget about that.
What was it for?The crocs?The hair product?
Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
I just said "not Stella.So maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
It's out of control.
You guys don't think I should marry Stella?
Ted, we do.We're all really happy for you.
Yeah.Like I said, it was stupid.
Well, obviously, it wasn't, Because we agreed not to have any more stupid interventions at our intervention intervention.
We're having too many interventions.
So, what was your big, serious problem with me and Stella?
Yes!Yes!in everyone's face!You all said the "future barney" thing wouldn't work.You told me I was crazy.My shrink told me I was crazy.Well, who's the narcissist with severe attachment disorder now, Dr.Grossbard?!Intervention banner?What's that for?
Ted, I cannot stand idly by
stand idly by 手をこまぬいている
You've just been carrying that around?
Please, Ted?I cannot stand idly by while you make the biggest mistake any man can make getting married.mark my words, this whole thing is gonna go up in flames!" Damn!I put the flame cue too early.I had so many more important things to say, and The point is, Ted, marriage is stupid.Every year, there are a million new hot 22-year-olds walking into bars, and call me "glass half full," but I think they're getting dumber.
stand idly by 手をこまぬいている glass-half-full 楽観的
Come on, Barney, even you aren't still gonna be hitting on 22-year-olds when you're 80.
I accept that challege.
To prove to you that I will be exactly this awesome when I'm 80, I will hook up with a 22-year-old while in my old-man makeup.
I didn't remotely challenge you to that.I mean, I definitely want to see it.But I didn't remotely challenge you to that.
I want to hear the other letters.
Ted, this is ridiculous.We changed our minds.
And suppose you change them back?Lily, come on, let's hear yours.
"Gilbert's reading skills have improved drastically since" Wait, this is a letter I meant to send home with one of my kindergarteners.
Gilbert, are things moving too fast between you and a girl named Stella?
Robin, could I hear yours?
Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia, not 'encyclo-pay-dia. why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? It makes you sound douchey and that's 'douchey, not 'douch-ay.'"
Yeah, you already read that one at my pronunciation intervention.Where's the letter about Stella?
I didn't write one I'm your ex-girlfriend.I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty.Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
Dude, it's water under the bridge.
Dear Ted, Stella seems like a wonderful person.But you don't know her well enough to get married, you certainly don't know her well enough to commit to raising a seven-year-old with her.you're not doing her, her child or yourself any favors by rushing into this.Just give it some more time.Dude, that was months ago, all right?That was before we got to know Stella and see how awesome she is and what a great couple you guys are.That's why we decided not to even have that intervention.
Thank you.Because I really need you guys to be on board with this.
And we are.
And we hope you're not mad at us.
Course not.I mean, it's not like what you said was crazy.You had a lot of valid concerns.
Yeah, but concerns we have completely moved on from.
But you had a point.I mean, this whole thing has moved pretty fast.
Well, you know what?Maybe that's because when it's right, you just know.
Yeah, I guess, but-but we are still, you know, getting to know each other.And, Lily, maybe you're right.Maybe Stella won't like any of my stuff.Like the robot cookie jar.This was, like, the first thing we bought for this place, remember?
Of course I do.Marshall, my sensors indicate that your pecan sandy levels are dangerously low.
My collection of James Bond movies.Remember?We watched them all in order, and then Lily spoke in that weird english accent for, like, the next month?
It was sophisticated.
My signed Bernie Kosar cleats.My elephant lamp.The english phone booth.My sombrero!
Ted, what are you doing?
Unpacking.I'm never leaving this apartment.