ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Marshall was fed up with his job at GNB"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Rebound Girl

We're having a baby!

Bro-parents activate!

Hey, let's talk baby names!

Barney

Oh, my God! That was my first choice, too.

No, listen.You and I are drunk.Which means there's a chance that adopting a baby-no matter how cute he is in my head with his little cowboy outfit on and he's riding our dog like a horse and we also have a dog, purebred Golden, but it's okay, she's a rescue-might not be a good idea.

adopt —{Žq‚É‚ˇ‚é

You're right.So let's go home, take some aspirin, drink lots of water, and then see if it's still a good idea tomorrow.

It's still a good idea!

It's totally still a good idea! We're having a baby!

Kids, I cannot stress this enough: Barney and I were going through a tough time.

You're not leaving, and that's final.Look what I bought at A bootleg VHS of a very, very popular Korean movie, this genuine Lenny Vintone purse and the number of a man who can get me a kidney.Do that on Long Island.

bootleg ŠC‘Ż”Ĺ

Look, Robin, we appreciate that you want us to stay in the city, but this is what we want.I mean, you understand, right?

No.Here are a few fun facts about Long Island.Number one: it's Brooklyn's fart trail.

fart ‚¨‚Č‚ç trail ­Ő

So Barney and I-and again, going through a tough time, can't stress that enough-found an adoption agency Web site and filled out their online application.

Name: Barney Stinson.Ted Mosby.Address

Oh, put my address in Westchester.They'll want to see we'll be raising this child in a good environment.You know, the suburbs.

What? No.All my guys are here.

Your guys?

Yeah.You know how I got a guy for everything? Well, they're all in New York.My suit guy, my shoe guy, my ticket guy, my club guy.And if I don't have a guy for something, then I have a guy guy to get me a guy.And oddly enough, his name is Guy.

oddly enough –­‚Č˜b‚ž‚Ş

Okay, fine.How about this? We stay in the city during the week, then on the weekend, country house in the burbs!

This is why bro-parenting works!

Totally! And with your salary plus my salary, we can totally afford two places.

Oh.

What?

So uh, you're gonna keep your job?

Robin, this discussion is closed.The universe told us to do it, so we're doing it.

Well, the universe gets it wrong sometimes.Remember when Marshall was trying to decide between becoming an environmental lawyer and working at a bank?

That's a funny story.Marshall was fed up with his job at GNB and was thinking about leaving it all behind, so he and Lily agreed he should wait for a sign from the universe to tell him what to do.Then one day

feed up with –O‚Ť–O‚Ť‚ˇ‚é

Of course.It's so clear.It's been right there all along.I have to call Lily.Excuse me.Excuse me, sir.I'm sorry, but, um, can I please borrow your Ernie Hudson?

Yes.

Can I borrow your phone?

Who you gonna call?

And did Marshall become a Ghostbuster?

That firehouse is still for sale.

Even Ernie Hudson begged you not to go through with that.

Ernie Hudson is a coward!

coward ˆÓ‹C’n‚Č‚ľ

Oh!

Of course I'm gonna keep my job.Why wouldn't I keep my job?

Well, I mean, this whole architecture thing isn't it more of a hobby?

Excuse me?

And now we're fighting.You know what? Forget I said anything.

No! No, no, no.We're having this discussion.Architecture is my life's work.Why don't you quit your job? I don't even know what it is you do for a living.

What it is I do for a living? I work, Ted, 14 hours a day so that our baby can have food and clothes and a nice house, while you sit around doodling pictures of buildings.That's what it is I do. You know what? Screw this.I'm gonna go to the bar.

doodling ƒ_ƒ‰ƒ_ƒ‰‚Ć

Yeah, right, right, 'cause the answer's always at the bottom of a bottle! Wait, wait, wait! Hold it! Brainstorm.

Brainstorm.

Nobody quits their job.We get a nanny.

nanny Z‚ݍž‚Ý‚Ěƒxƒr[ƒVƒbƒ^[Œ“‰Ć’ë‹łŽt

Dibs on the nanny.

No.No banging the nanny.

Ted, please do not dig in on this whole no-banging-the-nanny policy.

Okay, fine.We'll get two nannies.One for banging, one for childcare.

Slash banging.Dibs on both nannies! Just think of it, Ted, you and me, living together, with our kid, my two hot nannies, our pet cobra

What?

A kid needs a pet cobra, Ted.Don't be a pill about this.And we'll have amazing weeklong parties, and there'll be swords and ninja stars lying around.

pill ‚‚܂ç‚Č‚˘lŠÔ

That's when I realized: adopting a baby with a friend? Crazy.Adopting a baby with Barney? Freaking nuts.

I can't adopt a baby with you, Barney.

Why not?

Because we don't even have one yet and you're already a terrible father.

Oh, I get it.You want one of the nannies.Well, you can't have 'em! They're mine! So you're just gonna have to get yourself a third nanny.Except dibs on the third nanny! Good day!

Which brings us to Thanksgiving.Marshall, Lily and Robin were heading out to Long Island early to get ready.

Okay, how is this even possible?! 'Cause how did we even get it in here?!

Okay, I change my mind.I want an epidural.

epidural d–ŒŠO–ƒŒ

You guys are crazy.This place is enormous.I mean, look arou Have you never heard of overhead lighting?!

You're right.I get it.This place is great.Um, excuse me.Where is the restroom?

Oh.Right there.

Oh, good, great.I'm just gonna go in there and not come out until you promise never to move away!

It's a good thing we have three bathrooms.

Hey, Barney.Uh, listen, sorry about the other day when I said you'd be a terrible father.

You had no reason to think otherwise.Totally understandable.I'm not mad.

Thanks.And, uh, let's be honest, we were both acting a little crazy.I don't think either of us is truly ready for the responsibility of

Daddy's home.

Uh, Barney, uh, where did you get this baby?

Please.

Did you adopt it?

Please.

Do you have a baby guy? Did Guy the guy guy get you a baby guy?

Ted, we should get going.

No, no, no.I'm not going anywhere with you.For all I know, I could be aiding and abetting a kidnapping.

aiding and abetting a kidnapping —U‰ű‚Ů‚¤•

Shh.Bro-daddy's not mad.He's just being a wittle loud.He wuvs you! Yes, he does!

This is insane!

You'll feel better outside.Come on.

No, I can't.

Yeah.

Na-na-na.

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