Narrator: Kids, when you're single all you're looking for is happily ever after. But only one of your stories can end that way. The rest end with someone getting hurt. This is one of those stories, and it starts... with a shirt.
"happily ever after" 子供たちよ、人が独り身でいる時に探しているものは末永く幸せに暮らすことなんだ。しかし、人生の物語のうち一つだけがそう言う結末を迎えられる。残りは、誰かが傷ついて結末を迎える。今回の話は後者の方だ。そして、物語は一枚のシャツから始まる。
Daughter: A shirt?
Narrator: Just listen...
Narrator: Because none of this would have happened if it hadn't have been for that shirt.
"none of this would have happened" 何も起こらなかっただろう。"if it hadn't have been for that shirt" そのシャツが無かったら
Robin: Nice shirt!
Ted: Right? Right?
Lily: Look at those colors! Green and brown together at last!
Marshall: Hot top, Bro, is it new?
Ted: That's the crazy part. I've had this shirt for, like six years... Until this morning I wasn't into it at all, but now it's like my tastes have changed.
"That's the crazy part" そこがクレイジーなところなんだ。 it's like まるで〜みたい
Ted: Yes, hello, Barney.
Robin: Barney's offering me fifty bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report.
Barney: Not some stupid word, "Booger".
Robin: But I'm not doing it, I am a journalist.
Barney: What? Journalist? You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news. Old people, babies, monkeys... that's not journalism, that's just things in a diaper.
"fluff piece" 重要ではないニュース diaper おむつ
Robin: For your information, my boss is about to bump me up to the City Hall beat.
bump up 昇進させる City Hall beat 市庁詰め
Lily: City hall, Miss Thang!
"Miss Thang!" 気取った［かわい子ぶった］感じの女, ぶりっこ
Robin: So I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying "Booger" for fifty bucks.
jeopardize 脅かす promotion 昇進
Barney: Of course not, because now you're saying "Nipple" and it's a hundred! Step into my web.
Ted: Mmm... Who's bourbon is this?
Lily: Ooh, I don't know. It was here when we sat down.
Ted: Aaah, The point is. I seem to like bourbon now. I could have sworn I hated bourbon. First the shirt, now bourbon. I spent twenty seven years making up my mind about things, right? The movie I saw once and hated, the city I'll never go back because it was raining the day I visited. Maybe it's time to start forming some second impressions...
Marshall: You're finally gonna watch "Goonies AGAIN? Sloth love, Chuck".
Ted: Not Goonies, girls. What if there's someone from my past, who I thought was wrong for me at the time, when in fact, she, like this shirt, is actually a perfect fit?
Barney: Hold up, there are only two reasons to ever date a girl you've already dated. Breast implants.
two reasons ネイティブが言うには、two reasons → two words → "Breast implants" で２語ってことでこれは、 "The implication is that Ted hasn’t dated particularly ‘busty’ girls, so they would be ‘improved’ with breast enhancement. Obviously, it’s only one reason in reality." テッドは巨乳とデートをしたことが無くて人工の巨乳としかデートしたことないと。実際には一つの理由だね。
Lily: That's not a bad idea. Let's think, Ted's greatest hits... what about that girl, Steph?
Stefanie: Okay, this is difficult to say, back when I lived in LA, I was pretty broke, so I spent a month making adult films.
"I am broke" お金がない
Ted: Wow, okay... how many did you make?
Stefanie: A hundred and seventy five.
Lily: Say what you will about the porn industry... they are hard workers.
say waht you will 不服だとしても 反対しようとも
Marshall: What about that chick...um...Jackie?
Ted: And my bathing suit had fallen completely off.
bathing suit 水着
Jackie: I know the feeling, once... when I was sixteen, I was driving, and I hit this hitchhiker. Don't know what happened to him... just kept drivin'!
"I know the feeling" くだけた表現でその気持ち分かる。
Lily: What about Natalie!
Marshall and Ted: Natalie!
Robin: Who's Natalie?
Narrator: Natalie, I had so many fond memories of her. The tea candles on her dresser. The sock monkey collection on her bed. That one Belle and Sebastian song that she always listened to. Her smile.
Ted: Man, I haven't seen her in like three years!
Robin: Well why'd you guys break up?
Ted: I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time, of course now a big commitment doesn't seem so bad... maybe I should call her? What do you guys think?
take a big commitment 大きな覚悟が要る
Barney: You dumped a porn star? Friendship over FRIENDSHIP OVER!
Mr.Adams: Come in, Alright, I'll get back to you.
"I'll get back to you" （その件については）後で連絡する．
Robin: You wanted to see me, Mr. Adams?
Mr.Adams: Yes, I did. I need you to cover a story. It's down at City Hall.
cover a story 〜取材する down at 〜にて
Robin: City Hall? Oh, my god.
Robin: So, next time you're passing City Hall, make sure and stop by New York's oldest hotdog cart. Today a delicious hotdog will cost you $2.50, but back when the stand first opened in 1955, you could get one for only a nipple. Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News One.
Robin: I said, "Nipple" on the news! That was so unprofessional! I said, "Nipple" on the news!
Lily: At least it's better than booger. Booger.
Barney: There she is. Hey is it cold in here, because I can kind of see Robin's nickels? Now for your next challenge...
kind of see oneself 自分の姿が目に浮かぶような感じがする
Robin: No, there is not going to be another challenge, I don't care how much you offer me.
Barney: Oh, search your soul, Robin. You and I both know this wasn't about the money. Sure, Metro News One pays you jack. And hey, a little green salad on the side is good for you, me and Mr. McGee.
search your soul 襟を正せ jack お金 "a little green salad on the side's good for you, me and Mr. McGee" ネイティブが言うには "it means be a little bit cautious but not too much like be healthy but have fun and nice food too, so the food being a metaphor for life?" 控えめだけど、やりすぎじゃない 健康的だけど 楽しくてナイスな食べ物 食べ物は人生のたとえ
Lily: Seriously, who talks like that?
Barney: What baby really likes is the thrill of pulling one over on those bean counters, who under appreciate you and still haven't promoted you. And for two more hundy-sticks, baby's going to look in the camera and say this
thrill スリル pull one over on = to deceive someone 芝居を打つ bean counters 会計担当者 数字ばかり数えている人という軽蔑的表現 under appreciated 過小評価 hundy sticks スラングでhundred dollar bill
Lily: Eew. I'm just assuming.
Robin: I gotta get back to work. See ya.
Robin: Baby's gonna think about it.
Ted: Found it! I found Natalie's number.
Lily: Hey, Ted. Nice shirt! Is it yesterday already?
Ted: Thank you. I am calling her. this is crazy I haven't talked to her in, like, three years. I wonder if she even remembers me.
"I wonder if" だろうか
Ted: Natalie, its Ted Mosby.
Natalie: Go to hell.
Ted: She remembers me.
Lily: Why would Natalie hang up on you?
hang up on 話している途中で一方的に電話を切る
Ted: I don't know!
Barney: Did you sleep with her sister?
Barney: Sleep with her mom?
Barney: I'm losing interest in your story.
Lily: Well, you must have done something. Why did you guys break up?
Marshall: He wasn't ready for a commitment.
Ted: And her birthday might have been coming up.
Ted: Okay, so I didn't wanna get a boyfriend level gift for a girl I was just about to break up with.
Lily: So you dumped her right before her birthday?
Ted: No, I didn't dump her... right before her birthday.
Ted: Natalie! Hey, Happy Birthday! Listen...
Ted: LILY PLEASE, THE SHIRT! I KNOW, IT WAS A MISTAKE!
Lily: Well, did she cry her eyes out?
Ted: I don't know.
Lily: How do you n...Oh, you didn't!
Ted: Natalie! Hey, Happy Birthday! Listen... you're awesome. You really are... awesome. I'm just like super busy right now, so... maybe we should just... call it a day. But you're awesome.
"Let's call it a day" これで終わりにしましょう
Lily: On...her...answering...machine!? And...on...her... birthday? Oh... who... breaks... up... with... somebody... on... their... answering... machine... on... their... birthday?!
Marshall: Yeah, dude, email!
Lily: Not exactly the point I was trying to make, Marshall. That is a terrible way to break up with someone.
make the point 主張する
Marshall: Okay, in my client's defense. Is there an unterrible way to break up with somebody? No. Personally I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine than face the humiliation in person. It's the least painful way you can do it. Who are you calling?
defense 弁護 humiliation 屈辱を与えること in person 直に painful 苦痛
Lily: Hi, Marshall, it's Lily. We're not going have sex for at least a month. But you're awesome. Okay bye-bye.
Barney: Know, that was a big mistake, Ted. You should've done it in person.
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: Desperate please don't leave me sex is amazing.
desperate 〜をしたくてたまらない "don't leave me sex" プレーの一種?
Ted: Okay, it was childish and stupid, I just...I didn't wanna see her cry.
Lily: Well guess what? She cried! You just didn't have the sack to face those tears.
guess what ねぇ聞いて You just didn't have the sack to face those tears sack は courage の意味で勇気、度胸てことで、お前は泣き顔を見る度胸が無かった
Ted: That was me then, okay? This is the new old shirt wearing, sack having Ted. I'm gonna make this right.
Barney: You know what else? "My younger sister just got married and I'm about to turn thirty" sex. Fantastic.
"And you know what else" あと他にも話があるんだけど、聞いて
"My younger sister just got married and I'm about to turn thirty sex. Fantastic." 妹がいるわけではないらしい。アメージングなセックスの話をしているらしい。