ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"It's not like Ted can just ghost out on her. She'll always be around."

—ö

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzOh Honey

Narator: Kids, after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to stay home a while to take care of his mother. But the longer he stayed there, the more it was like he had never left Minnesota.

Marshall: Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking.

Robin: Oh, that is too cute. Say it again.

Marshall: No. It's called manners, jerk. Now, what's-what's going on in New York? Give me something.

Robin: There is one thing that's been going on. Uh, it's about Ted... and Zoey.

Narator: Kids, remember. Zoey had tried to save an old building from being torn down and replaced by a new building that I'd been hired to design. And yet somehow, despite this, we had all managed to become friends. Which brings us to the night Aunt Robin decided to cook dinner.

have a house torn down ‰đ‘Ě‚ˇ‚é somehow ‚Ç‚¤‚˘‚¤‚í‚Ż‚Š despite ‚É”˝‚ľ‚Ä

Robin: I thought the oven was Celsius.

Ted: It's okay. We got hot dogs.

Lily: Yeah, and it's not like you can screw up a hot dog. Oh, God. This is so good. I'm gonna finish it in the bathroom.

Zoey: Could someone pass the ketchup?

Barney: I hope I can pass this hot dog.

Zoey: Oh.Oops.

Ted: Well, looks like someone's going out in the cold to get more ketchup.

go out in the cold ŠŚ‚˘’†‚đŠOo‚ˇ‚é

Zoey: Oh, come on, man, I brought the wine.

Ted: Which is all gone.

Zoey: All right, I tell you what... you get this one bottle, I'll get the next three.

Ted: Hmm, tell you what... no dice.

no dice ƒ_ƒ‚ž

Zoey: I'll get the next hundred.

Ted: You're not getting out of this.

Zoey: You want to go on a date with my hot cousin?

Ted: I'll get the ketchup.

Marshall: Robin, I just want you to know, it's either this story you're telling me or another game of Clue against myself, so make it good.

Robin: Oh, it's good. You see, after that night, none of us heard from Zoey for a while. Finally, Ted called her up.

Zoey: Hello.

Ted: So are we ever gonna see you again? Because, if I recall correctly, you owe me a date with your hot cousin.

Zoey: You still want to do that?

Ted: Yes. And we miss you. But the cousin thing mostly. Let's get that going.

Zoey: Don't worry, Ted, she's cute.

Barney: "Cute" means "fat""

Zoey: She's not fat.

Barney: "Not fat" means "ugly""

Zoey: Oh, here she is.

Barney: I take back everything I said. That girl is extremely attractive.

Honey: Hey, Zoey.

Zoey: Hey. Ted, this is my cousin...

Narator: Kids, to be honest, I don't quite remember this girl's name. None of us do, because as this story has been told and retold, we've always just referred to her as...

Honey: Honey.

Ted: Hi, Honey, I'm Ted.

Narator: And here's why...

Robin: She is a lovely person... warm, intelligent, just kind of gullible. It's like, every word out of her mouth makes you want to be like, "Oh, honey."

gullible éx‚ł‚ę‚₡‚˘

Marshall: Interesting. Show your work.

Honey: My apartment building is so safe. My landlord... he even installed a security camera in my shower.

Marshall: Oh, honey.

Honey: Maybe I should feel weird about giving a stranger my Social Security number, but the guy's a Nigerian prince.

Marshall: Oh, honey.

Honey: I just had a great TV audition. Behind the KFC where the executive producer works on the weekends.

Marshall: Oh, honey.

Honey: Long story short, I'm going to be on Lost.

Marshall: Oh, honey.

Robin: I know. You just want to wrap her up in a blanket and give her a cup of tea. She's, like, this little lost lamb who needs to be protected from the wolves. Speaking of whom...

Honey: Yeah, I always get those e- mails from Michelle Obama and sometimes Obama himself.

Barney: Oh, honey.

Robin: So the night went on, and eventually everyone went home, except for Ted and Honey.

Honey: Wow, an architect. How fascinating.

Barney: Why do they call 'em coasters?

Robin: And Barney.

Honey: Okay, time to go home.

Barney: Ted, a word.

Barney: God, I hate these situations. What are we gonna do about this?

Ted: What are you talking about?

Barney: Come on, Ted, it's obvious. Honey's vibing on me.

Ted: What?

Barney: It's called body language. Remember when she was touching your arm and leaning in real close? Well, while that was happening, the straw in her drink was pointed right at me. I mean... that's as clear as a signal gets, so... I'm so sorry, man.

Ted: You're right. She's all yours, buddy. I'd say hump her brains out, but someone obviously already has.

hump “w—Í‚ˇ‚é

Robin: Good for you. Ted Mosby does not take advantage of poor, helpless honeys.

Ted: Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her.

Robin: Hmm?

Judy: He's gay!

Marshall: Mom, hang up!

Judy: I'm sorry.

Marshall: Go on.

Ted: Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her.

Robin: Hmm?

Ted: I'm in love with Zoey.

Marshall: Oh, my God.

Judy: Oh, my God!

Marshall: Mom!

Judy: Sorry.

Marshall: Ted's in love with Zoey? But, but she's married. That boy needs an intervention.

Robin: Funny you should say that.

Barney: Does anyone know why we're here?

Lily: Yeah, who called this intervention?

Ted: I did. It's for me.

Lily: This is about the coffee breath.Finally.

Robin: Hmm, no, it's the shoulder hair.

Barney: Guys, just let the man explain how it's all about his wearing a lady's watch.

Ted: It's because I'm in love with Zoey, and she's married, so it needs to stop. And... intervene.

Lily: Are you sure it's love?

Ted: Remember the ketchup bottle? She wasn't the one who dropped it. When she reached for it, our fingers touched, and... I knew, right in that moment, this isn't friendship. This is love.

Marcus: Wuss.

Marshall: Marcus! This is a private conversation! So what'd the wuss do next?

Ted: This is love. And this was my grandmother's watch. Anyway, now I have only one course of action in front of me: I have to end my friendship with Zoey.

Robin: Isn't that a little harsh?

harsh Œľ‚ľ‚˘

Lily: Harsh? Robin, a single guy and a married woman cannot be friends if one's in love with the other.

Robin: Yeah, but Zoey is friends with us now, too. It's not like Ted can just ghost out on her. She'll always be around.

ghost out on “Ë‘R‚˘‚Č‚­‚Č‚é

Ted: Then what am I supposed to do?

Robin: Okay, just shut it down. Okay, just ignore your feelings. If-If she asks you for ketchup, tell her to get it her own damn self. Look, I like Zoey. Without her, my dinner party wouldn't have been such a success. So those feelings of yours... shut 'em down.

Ted: Fine. I'll shut 'em down.

Lily: And seriously, mouthwash after coffee.

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