Narator: But you can't avoid the crazy eyes forever. Sooner or later, the crazy comes bubbling to the surface.
Chloe: Marshall, it's Chloe.
Marshall: Are you the one who's called me like nine times?
Chloe: Yeah. Could you come get me?
Marshall: I'm in the middle of taking a test.
Chloe: Please. I'm so scared.
Marshall: Well, what's going on?
Chloe: This weird midget guy started following me and he was screaming at me and he had a limp and a big hump on his back and the police didn't believe me and I almost got trampled by a horse and... God I must sound totally crazy to you right now.
midget 体の各部の比率は普通だが身長が極端に小さい人 limp のろのろ進む hump 丸まる trample 手荒く扱う
Marshall: No. Pfft. Not at all.
Ted: So, she's needy crazy. That's one of the worst kinds.
Barney: I've had one of those. Makes up stories to get attention. Went out with her for three weeks, her dad died twice.
Marshall: Guys, she was really freaked out, okay? Maybe the story is true.
freak out ひどくびくつく
Barney: What in the world would make you believe that's a true story?
Marshall: She's really hot.
Barney: They always are.
Wendy: You all done with that, Ted?
Barney: Ned. I told you to call him Ned.
Ted: That's just sad.
Wendy: Sorry, Swarley.
Chloe: So, do just you and Ted live here or does Swarley live here, too?
Marshall: Nah. Swarley has his own place. What was that?
Chloe: Oh, I, uh, dropped my keys.
Marshall: So, here you go. Two pumpkin beers. I was joking. They're regular beers. What is that? This picture is broken.
Chloe: Oh. That's too bad. Is that Lily? Is that the girl you were going to marry?
Marshall: Yeah. Is that what that sound was? Did you just smash this?
Chloe: No. Why would I do that?
Marshall: Let me look into your eyes.
Chloe: Okay. I had a really nice time tonight.
Marshall: Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking.
Chloe: I like your eyes a lot, too.
Lily: Stooooop! Hi. I'm Lily.
Narator: Now, kids, I know Lily hiding in the apartment while Marshall was on a date with another girl seems pretty crazy, but when you hear her side of the story, well, it's still pretty crazy.
Robin: What's up Swarlz?
Barney: No. Okay? No. No more. I will not let this become a thing. It's over. No more Swarley. No Swarlz. No more Swar-lay. No more Swar... wait for it... ley. No more Bob Swarley, man. No more. No! It's over. Do you understand?
Barney: Thank you.
Lily: Why didn't you call me?
Robin: Was I supposed to call you?
Lily: Yes, about the whole Marshall-dating-another-girl thing.
Robin: You said you were fine with it.
Lily: Yeah, in front of Ted, but then I shot you a look.
shot somene a look 視線を向ける
Robin: What look?
Robin: That doesn't seem like a look.
Lily: Yes it is. It means, "I'm upset call me later."
Robin: You should have pulled me aside and told me what the look meant.
pull aside 脇に寄る
Lily: If I pulled you aside, I wouldn't need the look.
Robin: Well, maybe if it was a more distinctive look...
Lily: Okay, the look isn't important. What's important is that I can't stand the idea of Marshall dating another woman. I mean, what if he falls in love with her?
Robin: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Ted says she has the crazy eyes.
Lily: What's that?
Robin: Apparently, a thing women have that guys can see and it tells them that the girl's crazy.
Lily: Oh, kind of like how you never want to date a guy with perfect fingernails?
Robin: Jerk nails. Exactly.
Lily: Well, did Ted say whether she was good-looking? I mean, 'cause if I knew she was ugly, then maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out.
Robin: Uh, he didn't say, but you can find out. I think her name is Chloe, she works at Cosa Coffee on 78th.
Carl: Phone call for Swarles Barkley?
Robin: Hey, Ted. No, he's not here. Good one, though, remember that one.
Lily: Is, um, Chloe here?
Coffee guy: She just left. You can probably still catch her. She's easy to spot, she's got a pink umbrella.
easy to spot 見つけるのが簡単である
Lily: Oh, thanks, Brian.
Coffee guy: My name is Scott.
Lily: Your tag says Brian.
Coffee guy: I know. Funny story. So, I wake up this morning, and...
Lily: Yeah, see you later, Brian. There she is. She doesn't look that great. She's not fat, but that doesn't mean anything. I know tons of skinny, ugly women. That's right, snotty girl in my yoga class, I'm talking to you. Come on, Chloe, turn around. Here we go. Turn around, Chloe. Come on, show me that hideous face. Damn it! Ooh, I know, I'll get ahead of her, then I'll cut back so I... Aah! Oh, my God, that hurts! Turn around! Come on! Just turn around! Okay, this is ridiculous. Hey! Turn around! What's the matter with you? Hey, you! Turn around! Turn around, Chloe!
skinny 痩せこけた snotty 薄汚い hideous 醜い get ahead of 追い抜く cut back 急いで戻る
Robin: She's hot? I'm so sorry.
Lily: No, it's fine. It just makes things easier. Now that I know she's a threat, all I have to do is keep Marshall from ever seeing her again. Okay, I have two plans, you can help me choose. Plan A) remember that time Marshall and I had sex in the bathroom? Oops, I got knocked up.
Lily: Okay, plan B) is called "Chloe's Accident."
Robin: Just stop.
Robin: Lily, you can't do any of those things. If you two are ever gonna get back together, you have to let him work out whatever this is.
Lily: I know. You're right.
Robin: Now, come on, Ted asked us to be upstairs at 6:00. Some surprise for Barney.
Robin: Uh, Swarley.