ストリッパー
海外ドラマで英語リスニング学習中
In May of 2012, Marshall and Lily hosted a baby shower in the apartment.All their friends were there.So of course I made sure to show up exactly three hours late.
Oh, no! Am I late?
Little bit.
Ah, I'm sorry, I would've gotten here earlier; it's just, um
You didn't want to see Robin.
I didn't want to see Robin.I know, it's childish.She's not here, is she?
Actually
Oh, no! Am I early?
Little bit.
Whoa, she got you the red stroller? Looks like I just blew her out of the water.
blow out of the water 〜を打ち負かす
Anyway, he left before the party started.
Ah, I'm really sorry, I I just think it's best if Robin and I don't see each other for a while.
Ted, it's fine; I'm a child of divorce.You guys keep fighting all you want, as long as the expensive gifts keep coming.
Uh, so how was the shower?
It was good, although there was one weird moment with Barney's new stripper girlfriend.
Fifty laps a day? Oh, my goodness, young lady.That is a lot.
Oh, is it? Is it a lot, Grandma Lois? Yes, my girlfriend gets naked and sits on guys' laps for money.And, yes, sometimes it's as many as 50 laps in one day.And maybe society considers what she does to be disgusting, or slutty, or verging on prostitution, or actual prostitution. But you know what, I accept her.And if you can't do the same, well, then shame on you.you.
verge 直前である
We were, um, talking about swimming, how I sometimes swim 50 laps a day.
How I sometimes swim Well, it's great cardio.Lois, can I top off your champagne?
top off 満タン以上に給油する
You know, it's funny, you tell the average guy you're dating a stripper, he thinks it's awesome.Heck, you tell your mom, she high-fives you so fast, she doesn't even take off her oven mitts.But if they had any idea how difficult it is: the jealousy, the insecurity, those high-fives would be high-fives of condolence.
Barney, condolence high-fives are not a thing.
They're a thing.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go.Up top.
Ah, listen to me and my boring couples' problems.How are you? How's the single life?
I wouldn't know.After this whole Robin thing, for the time being, I'm laying low.
for the time being 当分 lay low おとなしくする
Laying low as in sleeping with a really short chick? You guys doing 39?
I mean, I'm not seeing anyone.I'm just, you know, trying to get Robin out of my head.
You need a palate cleanser.
Barney, please, don't try to set me up with Quinn's stripper friends.
Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
Why not, how many hints do I have to drop?!
No, I'm thinking of something much more traditional.Online dating.
Yeah, no thanks.
Come on, Ted! It's 2012.What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're reading a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore.
Barney, I will never, ever, ever, try online dating.
That night I tried online dating.
And kids, the first girl beautiful, smart, funny, huge fan of prewar architecture, favorite poet Neruda, favorite movie Ghostbusters, and she didn't hate Cleveland.
She's perfect.
So I sent her an email, inviting her to mini golf.
Hello.
Mini golf? Mini golf? Who takes a first date to mini golf? I'm coming over! Oh, Ted-Ted-TedTeddy-Ted-Ted.
Who buzzed you in?
Did you really think you could start dating online, and I wouldn't find out?
But with thi-this girl, sh-she was
Me.She was me, Ted.The photo was just of some girl I knew you'd never seen before, a very famous sports anchor on ESPN.
Barney, I don't need you to help me find a girl online.
Exactly because I've already done it! Three girls in fact.I scoured the dating sites using my own personal logarithms, factoring in a broad spectrum of variables, filtering out undesirable high-risk negatives, guaranteeing a success rate of 83
You picked the girls that showed the most boob.
My methods get results.Go out with these three girls, and your palate is going to be so cleansed, you will see your reflection in it.And when you do, you can fix the hair, because Have you seen yourself?
No, but you know what I have seen, your stripper girlfriend's cans.Wow.
Wow.
Wow, wow.That was going way too far, wasn't it? I'm sorry.My condolences.Come on.
Man, Marshall's really stressing out about this baby.He's reading every book, watching breast-feeding documentaries.I woke up the other day, he had swaddled me.Sure, it was the best night's sleep I had had in months, but still You know what his latest thing is?
swaddle 布でくるむ
What the hell is that?
Marshall, what is that?
I rigged this alarm to go off every three hours.I'm training myself for the sporadic sleep patterns of early parenthood.Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a practice-baby to soothe.
rig 仕掛ける sporadic 時々起こる parenthood 親であること soothe なだめる
You got to talk to him.
Yeah, I'll talk to him tonight.Maybe tomorrow morning.
One last swaddle?
It's just so cozy.It's like sleeping in a warm burrito.
Meanwhile, Barney was about to have a stripper's boyfriend's worst nightmare.
Karma?
Oh, my gosh, I didn't recognize you without your legs behind your head.
Darryl, I didn't recognize you without your creepy trench coat.How are you?
Great, you working tomorrow?
You know it.
Great.I'll be there with bells on.And by bells, I mean super thin sweatpants.
Gross.He's actually a nice guy.She's so busy as deputy mayor, but I always get a card on my birthday.
Quinn, I love the fact that you're a stripper, but I hate the fact that you're a stripper.
Barney, I like my job.And I do not need to be rescued.So, don't be that guy.
You're right, you're right.I got it.Forget I said anything.
I'll see you tonight, Karma.
You got it, Dirty Larry.
You have to quit your job!