ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I was just putting on a brave face."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBad News

Lily: Okay, now you're being ridiculous. An hour ago, you didn't even think there was a problem.

Marshall: Well, I was just putting on a brave face. Okay, think about it: we've had unprotected sex 203 times in the past four months. Obviously I'm the problem.

put on a brave face •˝‹C‚ČŠç‚đ‘•‚¤

Barney: Problem?! You can't get a girl pregnant. That's the dream. I'd give my firstborn to not be able to have children.

Ted: So, second day of work?

Lily: What's wrong?

Ted: Oh, you didn't hear? She's the office slut.

Lily: Already? Oh, honey.

Robin: I wish I was the office slut.

Robin: And we can explore how those policy changes will affect Iraq.

Sandy: Yes. We definitely had sex.

Robin: We did not have sex.

Sandy: Then why do I remember you?

Robin: I don't know, maybe because I'm a smart, talented, professional.

Sandy: No, none of those. Oh, I remember. We didn't have sex.

Robin: Thank you.

Sandy: You're the girl who did the report on the carriage driver and slipped and fell in horse poop...

Robin: We did have sex.Oh, I... I remember now.

Sandy: Gregory, do me a favor.

Robin: But this reporter takes pride in...

Robin: And now everyone calls me Scherpoopie. It's not funny.

Ted: Robin, a word of advice: play along. Okay, the more you fight it, the worse it's going to get. It's like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid.

steer ‚ˇ‚ˇ‚Ţ skid ƒXƒŠƒbƒv‚ˇ‚é

Barney: Exactly! Or when your... I don't know... friend invites you to a laser tag tournament, you don't fight it. You just strap on the vinyl holster and race into that abandoned JCPenney guns a-blazin'. I'm just agreeing with Ted.

Marshall: Oh, it's my dad.

Ted: Aren't you going to get it?

Marshall: No, no, you know what? Um, I'm gonna get my stuff checked out first. I'll call my dad after Dr. Stangel gives me the thumbs up.

Ted: He has to do that?

Robin: But I thought you talk to your dad about everything.

Marshall: I only like to call my dad with good news. I mean, telling him good news is what makes it feel real to me.

Marshall: I'm getting married!

Marvin: Yeah...!

Marshall: I passed the bar!

Marvin: All right!

Marshall: I found an amazing Viking lamp that fits right on the coffee table, as long as we don't mind stepping over the cord.

Marvin: That's what I'm talking about!

Marshall: Right?! I found someone who can fix the Viking lamp!

Marshall: But the news that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? You know, like, I don't even know how to have that conversation.

Barney: I'll show you. "Dad, there's, uh, there's something I need to tell you, and it's going to come as a bit of a shock to you, but here goes. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri-County Laser Tag Co-Champion".

Marshall: Barney, I've already told...

Barney: "Oh, and my sperm don't work. Yeah, yeah, the laser tag thing is awesome".

Ted: So, third day of work?

Robin: And the fertilizer is seeping into the ground water, causing...

fertilizer ”ě—ż seeping ‚ľ‚Ý‚ą‚Ţ

Sandy: Is Scherpoopie pitching a story about manure? Genius.

manure ”ě—ż

Robin: Okay, yes, I, uh, I fell into some manure. It's hilarious, fine. In a five-year career of on-air reports, there are bound to be a few embarrassing moments.

Sandy: A few?

Robin: Uh, but in my case, it was just the one, and you found it, so, uh... Just the one.

Sandy: Gregory.

Ted: Oh, God. What did they find?

Robin: Everything.

Robin: They even found the video of me getting attacked by an owl.

owl ƒtƒNƒƒE

Ted: You got attacked by an owl?

Robin: I did not get attacked by an owl.

Ted: Robin, listen, here's what you need to do...

Robin: Okay, don't you dare tell me to steer into the skid, okay? It's too late. I'm already wrapped around a hydro pole. It's a Canadian telephone pole. I never should have taken this job.

dare ‚ ‚Ś‚ā`‚ˇ‚é hydro pole “d’Œ

Narator: Kids, at that moment, I knew what I had to do for my friend Robin. But first I had to do something for me.

Ted: Show me "owl attack".

Marshall: I am freaking out. Is there a chance that I can't have kids? I've been hit in the nuts a lot.

Stangel: Well, we won't know anything until we run some tests. We'll need a sample of your sperm. No, no, no. There's a room at the end of the hall. If you find yourself inside the elevator, you've gone too far. You'd think I wouldn't have to say that, but you'd be surprised.

Man #1: All yours, buddy. The thing you're about to do in here... I did that in here, too. Three minutes ago.

Man #2: I was here eight minutes ago.

Man #3: 14 minutes ago.

Man #4: I'm here every Thursday.

Marshall: I can't do it, Doc. Is there, like, another option? Could I... Could I take this home?

Stangel: Sure, you could, but, uh... we close in an hour and I'm not back till Tuesday. So, clock is ticking. Make it fast.

Marshall: Only way I know how, Doc. Only way I know how.

Marvin: Surprise!

Judy: Surprise!

Marshall: Mom. Dad. Uh... What are you doing here?

Judy: We hadn't heard from you in a couple days. We were worried about you.

Marvin: For God's sake, son. Do you have any sixes?

Marshall: Go fish. Excuse me. Hey, Lily, can I just talk to you in here for a minute?

Lily: Oh, yeah. Isn't it great? They just showed up. Your mom's already rearranged my kitchen, organized my closet... and she asked me if I lost height. Not weight. Height.

Marshall: Yeah, I'm very excited that they're here, too. But right now, I have to get excited about something else.

Lily: Oh, okay. Well, I'll go handle your parents. And you handle your, well... Wait, wait, wait. Marshall.

Marshall: Thank you, baby. You're the best.

Judy: Marshall. Marshall. I just got my new bathing suit for the beach this summer. It's a two-piece. I mean, can you imagine? Me in a two-piece bathing suit at my age? Just picture it! Picture it!

Marvin: That's why Fred Cox is the greatest kicker the Vikings ever had.

Judy: Seriously, Marshall, picture it. Just picture it.

Marvin: Give me a "C". Give me an "O". Give me an "X". What's that spell? Cox! Cox! Cox! Cox! Cox! Cox!

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