Ted: Uh, hi. Uncle Ben, right?
Ted: Yes, we're, we're having a little bit of a problem back there. Um, and I was wondering if you could help us out.
Ted: Marshall accidentally shaved part of his head.
Ben: Oh, no!
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, so here's what I was thinking. What if I found something to cover up the bald area?
Ben: Yeah, that would probably work, but with what? That's a tough one.
Ted: Maybe a wig of some sort or a, um... toupee. Something that matches his hair color, which is, which is kind of the same color as the top of your hair.
Ben: Mm, yeah. Does anyone here wear a toupee? Shouldn't be hard to find out. Most of them are pretty bad.
Ted: That is true. That is true. We just need to find someone who wears a toupee that is the same color as Marshall's and your hair.
Ben: Boy, that's a pretty tall order.
Ted: Really? You can't think of any place in the general area where there might be a toupee of the kind I'm describing to you?
Ben: No, not off the top of my... No. Can't.
Ted: Let me come at this from a different angle. I got $50 in my pocket which is probably a lot more...
Barney: The bride needs this.
Marshall: Actually, I think it kinda works.
Ted: It totally does.
Barney: To be honest, I'm, uh, I'm jealous I don't get to wear it.
Marshall: Okay, problem solved. Crisis averted. Let's get me married. It looks terrible, doesn't it?
Ted: It kinda looks like fur, which gives you the appearance of a cleaned-up Bigfoot.
Marshall: Oh, you know...
Ted: In a bad way.
In a bad way 悪い状態で 四苦八苦して
Brad: Hey. Cool hair, bro.
Ted: What happened to your shirt?
Brad: I got sauce on it when I tackled the caterer.
Ted: You gonna put another shirt on?
Brad: No, I'm good. Hey, you guys seen Scooter?
Marshall: What? What? Scooter's here? That guy's at my wedding?
Brad: Not for long, bro. Not for long.
Marshall: Okay, you know what? I need some air. I think we should go for a walk, okay?
Barney: It would cover up the problem. It's festive and it celebrates the heritage of this great nation.
Ted: Okay, unless you actually have one in your car, stop suggesting authentic Native American headdress.
Marshall: Oh, no.
Lily: Oh, my God! Marshall...
Marshall: Lily, you're not supposed to see me.
Robin: Holy crap, I don't think anyone's supposed to see you.
Lily: What happened? Did Amy do this to you?
Marshall: Just the frosted tips. I did the rest. I'm sorry, baby. I've ruined the whole wedding, haven't I?
Lily: Oh, no, you didn't ruin the wedding, sweetie. It was already ruined. There's no flowers, no photographer. Oh, and Scooter's here, by the way.
Marshall: Yeah, I know. I heard.
Lily: My veil got thrashed, the harp player is in labor, and I'm not wearing my wedding underwear.
thrash 打ち負かす labor 陣痛
Marshall: What? No "Property of Marshall" across the back? How are people going to know whose butt that is?
Lily: What happened? Remember the wedding we wanted, the intimate outdoor ceremony?
Marshall: I wish we could have that wedding.
Ted: So do it.
Ted: Get married now. Right here. Look, it's outside like you always wanted. Intimate, close friends. There's no guitar, but it's pretty close. Barney can officiate.
Barney: Yes. Yes, I can. Uh, excuse me, guys. You all dropped something your jaws because Barney Stinson is about to aid and abet a marriage.
aid and abet ほう助する
Marshall: Could we even do that? I mean, what about all those people in there?
Robin: Do that one, too. And then when everything goes wrong, you won't care because you already had the real wedding out here.
Marshall: What do you think, baby?
Lily: I love it.
Marshall: Me, too. Let's do it. Let's get married before we get married.
Lily: Great. Wait, hold on. Excuse me, sir. Could we borrow your hat?
Lily: Thank you.
Marshall: Hat. We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat.
Barney: Thank you all for coming. For those of you who don't know me... I'm not the biggest believer in marriage. But... you two are so great together, you know? It's like you were, uh, made for each other.
Robin: He's gonna cry.
Barney: No, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Lily and Marshall... when everyone sees you, they... see true love. It's the best love... Can we just, um, move on to the rings or something?
Marshall: Oh, no. I don't have my vows.
Lily: I don't have mine either.
Ted: You don't need your vows. Just say why you love each other.
Marshall: Okay, I'll go first. Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh and you take care of me when I'm sick. You're sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing in scrambled eggs before she cooks them. It's called "Eggs Marshall," and it's awesome. But the main reason that I love you is that you're my best friend, Lily. You're, uh... you're the best friend I ever had. I'm sorry, buddy.
Ted: No problem.
Barney: It's totally okay.
Lily: My turn. Oh, thank you. Marshall, I love you because you're funny and you make me feel loved and you make me feel safe and for our anniversary you gave me a sweatshirt that says, "Lily and Marshall. Rockin' It Since '96." I kinda wish I was wearing it right now 'cause it smells like you. But the main reason I love you, Marshall Ericksen, is you make me happy. You make me happy all the time.
Robin: Hey, I found your panties!
Lily: I'm good.
Barney: Marshall, do you take Lily to be your wife to have and to hold from this day forward?
Lily: Slow down.
Barney: I can't from this day forward so as long as you both shall live?
Marshall: I do.
Barney: Lily, do you promise to take Marshall to be your husband to have and to hold... live?
Lily: I do.
Barney: Okay, then, by the power invested in me by the very bitter old Pakistani man who works down at the courthouse on Lafayette Street, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Marshall: Did you smoke?
Robin: Wow. First lie of marriage. That was fast.
Narator: After that, we all went back inside for the second wedding. And yes, a lot of things did go wrong, but it didn't matter because when I look back on that day, what I remember is the first wedding; the intimate outdoor ceremony with just close friends and an acoustic guitar.
Marshall: How do you feel?
Lily: Tired. I got married twice today.
Marshall: So where do you want to do it for the first time as a married couple, nice hotel room or a reception hall bathroom?
Lily: What do you think? Bathroom, of course.
Ted: Please don't.
Marshall and Lily: Sorry, Ted.