Robin: Barney! What the hell are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing outside. Are you insane?
Barney: Hey, blame Lily and her oppressive "no cigars in the apartment rule." God, it's like Marshall's marrying the Taliban. High five.
blame 非難する oppressive 耐え難い
Robin: Eww. No. You have to go home and get to bed.
Barney: Oh, Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north, let me tell you about a little thing I like to call mind over body. You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yeah, in two minutes, I'm going to pound a sixer of Red Bull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of laser tag, maybe get a spray-on tan. It's gonna be legen... Wait for it...
untamed 飼いならされていない Let's hop in a cab. タクろうぜ spray-on スプレー式の
Lily: Merry Christmas, assface.
Ted: Um, Lily? Where are the Christmas decorations?
Lily: At my apartment.
Ted: You want to bring them back so we can celebrate Christmas together-- please?
Lily: Ted, do you know what I would do if one of my kindergartners used that kind of language? I would be on the phone with their parents.
Ted: Yeah, I'm not a kindergartner.
Lily: Exactly. You know what that word means. You know that calling people names is mean and hurtful... assface.
Ted: Lily, if you don't bring that stuff back right now, we...
Ted: She hung up.
Robin: She's just mad. She'll cool down.
Lily: Don't forget to take the cookies out of the oven... assface!
Ted: Damn it! I could be in Cleveland right now making peppermint lager with my dad.
Robin: Where are you going?
Ted: Marshall gets home in three hours. He's gonna show up--no Lily, no winter wonderland.I gotta get up to the Bronx.
Ted: Hey, dude, how's the paper going?
Marshall: Screw the paper, how's the winter wonderland? Is it magical?
Ted: Oh... so magical.
Marshall: When you walk through the door, does it feel like you've been slapped in the face by Christmas?
Ted: Sure does. Look, I gotta go.
Marshall: Come on, man, describe it! Tell me about the decorations. Is Rudolph there? He is, isn't he? Hi, Rudolph!
Ted: Ah, yeah, but, you know... decorations, is that really what Christmas is about?
Marshall: Hell, yeah! What else would it be about?
Ted: Uh, try the birth of Christ. You know, Christmas-- Christ Mas, which means "More Christ" to our Spanish friends.
Marshall: Yeah, well, all I know is walking in that door and seeing the winter wonderland and seeing Lily and all you guys, just... I can't wait.
Ted: Right. I gotta go.
Marshall: Right. Okay.Oh, wait. Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted. One more thing. How about the cookies? Are they delicious?
Ted: You know, honestly, they taste a little store-bought. Oh! I got another call.
Marshall: Well, tell Lily I love her.
Ted's mother: Ted Evelyn Mosby!
Ted: Oh. Uh, hey, Mom. Merry Christmas.
Ted's mother: I just got the most disturbing call from Lily. How could you use such a horrible word?
Ted: Oh, God, she called you?
Ted's mother: Are you acting out because of the divorce? Is-is this all about Clint?
act out 態度に表す
Ted: No, Mom, why would it be about Clint?
Clint: Hey, buddy, it's Clint. How you doing, champ?
Ted: Hey, Clint. Listen, um, I don't really have time to...
Clint: Hey, hey, no, no, no. Ted, Ted. You don't know this yet, but you and I are going to be great friends. Now, the Native Americans have this ritual...
Barney: This is a low moment for the Barnacle. I should be off playing laser tag right now, but instead... Don't look at me. I'm hideous.
Robin: You just look like a regular guy.
Barney: Exactly. I'm a Ted. I'm wearing elastic-waist fleece pants.
Robin: And isn't it more comfy?
Robin: Come on, you need eat something.
Barney: Too weak... to hold... bowl.
Robin: Fine, I'll feed you.
Barney: Ouchie in my mouth! I don't want it. I want ice cream.
Robin: No, you're not having ice cream for dinner just 'cause you're sick.
Barney: But my throat hurts.
Barney: I hate you!
Barney: Don't leave me.
Lily: Who is this?
Ted: Pizza delivery.
Lily: Hey, you tricked me.
Ted: You really thought I was the pizza delivery guy?
Lily: No, I knew it was you. I just thought you'd at least bring a pizza.
Ted: Yeah, well, I brought a beer, but I gave it to a homeless guy. All right, he took it from me. Now, will you please come home?
Lily: No, I'm not spending Christmas with you.
Ted: Okay, I'm sorry for calling you a... that word, over the summer, and for saying it again today. And for thinking it a lot on the subway ride over. I had no right to say that. It was hurtful and immature and I'm sorry.
Lily: Oh, shut up. You think I don't know your fake apologies by now, Ted Mosby? Huh? You're clearly still mad at me.
Ted: I'm not mad at you.
Lily: Yes, you are.
Ted: I am not mad at you, Lily. Now, can we please just...
Lily: I've apologized to Marshall and he's forgiven me and we've moved passed it. Why can't you?
Ted: Because you never apologized to me. Marshall's not the only one you walked out on. You leave for three months, you don't even call. Come on, Lily, we're supposed to be friends!
Lily: Yeah, some friend, you called me a Grinch.
Ted: You were a Grinch!
Lily: How can you...
Ted: Grinchy, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch.
Lily: Happy? Now, you've pissed off the big guy upstairs.
Ted: Yeah, I'm sure God cares if I...
Voice: You use that language again and I'll turn off your water!
Lily: That's my super. He lives above me. Great. Thanks to your filthy mouth, now I'm going to have Christmas alone in the dark.
super 管理人 filthy 汚い
Ted: Fine. I don't want to ruin Christmas. You can have the apartment. Don't worry about seeing me there I'll be in Staten Island with my cousin Stacy. Just.... Merry Christmas.
Robin: You're spending Christmas Eve with your family? Baby, that sucks. I'm so sorry.
Ted: Uh, they're fine. They're just... they're a little weird. You know they don't believe in gifts or Christmas trees. And they think Santa's how Satan spells his name when he wants to trick us.
Robin: Well, do you want me to go with you?
Ted: Was that a sincere offer?
Robin: First tell me your answer.
Ted: Stay there. Save yourself. We'll spend all day together tomorrow. Okay. Oh, how's Barney feeling?
Robin: You mean the whiney bottomless pit of neediness? He was bugging me, so I spiked his echinacea tea with codeine.
whiney 泣き言を言う neediness 貧困 spike こっそり別の物を混ぜる echinacea エキナシア codeine コデイン
Ted: You're gonna be a great mom.