ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I'm on board"

Jerk

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“5yŒ´‘čzHooked

Really? You're really gonna sit here all night watching the door because Tiffany said she'll try to stop by?

Barney, I'm not gonna just give up on her.

I should've given up on her.

This girl is special.

She was the devil.

Things are gonna work out with Tiffany.

No, they're not, dumbass!

Ted, let me be clear, this girl is a poison and you need to cut her out of your life forever.

Hey, there she is.Oh, she brought some of her co-workers.

Hang on to this girl, Ted.Hang on to her and never let go! Ted, these are some of the hottest girls I've ever seen.And they all work with Tiffany?

Yep.

There can only be one explanation for this.Ted, is Tiffany a Pharmaceutical sales rep?

Yeah.How did you know that?

And you never thought to mention that?

What? It's just a job.

Just a Just a

What?

Ted, throughout time, there has always been one cutting-edge profession to which hot girls, like Tiffany, have flocked.Shall I walk you through the history?

string someone along ‚ž‚Ü‚ˇ flock ŒQ‚Ş‚é

I'm gonna explicitly say no.

explicitly –žŠm‚É

It all started 2.5 million years ago.Man was a hunter.So the hottest profession of the day? Gatherer.

Homo erectus, indeed.

As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved.

I'm pretty sure it's a hernia.Can you check again?

And then man took to the skies.And so hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses.

I am in the upright and locked position.

And then man said, Life is hard.I should start taking lots of prescription drugs. And so, hot girls rolled into doctors' offices, looking sexy enough to render the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant.So, now, pharma girls are today's hottest profession.

Hey, big brown eyes! How are you doing?

I'm good.Hey, by the way, you ditch that loser boyfriend yet?

ditch ŒŠŘ‚é

No, sir.

Touched my nose.

Dude, ditch Tiffany and join the Barnacle in a pharma girl free-for-all! Side effects may include loss of clothing, rug burn, shortness of breath and sore abdominals the next morning.What in the world is up?

Hey, so, I know that you've been having trouble letting Scooter off the hook.I decided what you need is practice.Now, you say the problem is his cute, sad eyes? Well All right, shut it, woman.Now, I want you to look at this teacup pig, and tell him that there's no way that you could ever be with him.

Teacup pig, there is no way I can ever be with you.Oh - Right now.

Oh, come on, grow a pair!

grow a pair ‘ĺl‚É‚Č‚ç‚Č‚Ż‚ę‚΂Ȃç‚Č‚˘

I'm sorry.But he's just so freaking cute.I just want to cuddle him all day long.Yes, I do.

cuddle •ř‚Ť‚ľ‚ß‚é

You know, it's funny, I remember when you used to say things like that about me.

Well, I still do.

Yeah.Not as much, Lily.Not as much.

Ain't no party like a pharma girl party 'Cause a pharma girl party don't stop Dude, I've already hooked up with three of them.Fantazmo.Plus, my cholesterol is down, my Restless Leg Syndrome is cured.I've never felt more alive! Ooh.

Guys, great news! Tiffany broke up with her boyfriend.Proof that I am not on the hook.

Oh, you're still on the hook.

Uh-uh.Listen to how we spent last night.

First, we cuddled.Then, we shared chocolate cake.Then, well, I don't usually join in on locker room talk, but I gave her a pretty sensual foot rub.

And, let me guess, it didn't go any further than that.

Well, no, but

And, tell me, did you by any chance make that chocolate cake?

It was a mix.

Dude.There's no shame in admitting it, Ted.We've all been on people's hooks, and we've all kept someone on a hook.

Um, I most certainly have not.

What? Are you joking?

What?

What about that girl from the university library, Henrietta?

Henrietta and I are just friends.

Oh, she is so on your hook.

Absolutely not!

She totally was.I mean, we cuddled.

Ah!

We shared chocolate cake.

Mmm, it's good.

She gave me foot rubs.Long ones.I'm not proud, kids.

You like having Henrietta around for the same reason that Tiffany likes having you around.It's a nice little ego boost.

No wonder you're such an expert about keeping people on the hook.What about that poor camera guy you work with?

Mike and I are just friends.

Come on!

Mmm! Oh! Yeah, that's the stuff.

Robin, have you ever thought about taking us to the next level?

Well, if you're talking about doing my laundry, I'm on board.

I'm on board Ž^Ź‚ć

You got yourself a deal.

get oneself a deal ŽŠ•Ş‚ŏŸŽč‚ÉŽv‚˘ž‚Ţ

Mmm.

What! I am not keeping Mike on the hook!

You are Captain Hook!

Uh, dude, I'm a girl.Okay, our girl parts are like a spider web.Sometimes you're gonna catch stuff you don't want.

That doesn't make it okay.

Oh, and Henrietta's in no way wasting her time with you, right?

Henrietta knows that we're just friends.In fact, I'm gonna call her up and hang out with her tonight as friends.

Hey, Ted.

Hey.

I love you.

What?

Do you want a foot massage? 'Cause I've been practicing on myself.

No, I'm good.

Okay.I didn't know if you were hungry, so I just threw together some It's not a big deal.

throw together ‹}‚˘‚Ĺ‚Š‚ŤW‚ß‚é

Kids, looking back, I don't know how I didn't see that Henrietta was madly in love with me.

Hello?

Hey, Ted.

Hey, Tiffany.

I'm going out of town this weekend for my friend's wedding.Want to be my date?

I would love to.Hey, what are you doing right now?

Oh, God, no.

Awesome.Okay, I'll see you in, like, Great.Sorry, Henrietta.Something came up.Take a rain check, pal?

Yeah, it's no problem.

All right.Hey, ho.

Oh! You're strong.

What a jerk!

Henrietta, I Wait, where did Ted go?

I thought we were finally gonna get to meet him?

Yeah, something came up, okay, Mom?

I told you there was no Ted.

I heard that!

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