ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Damn straight"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“5yŒ´‘čzSlapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap

In November, 2009, Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily hosted the first Thanksgiving at their very own apartment.And Marshall had found the perfect turkey.

Oh, baby, it is beautiful.It's 22 pounds.It's organic.You remember my bald Uncle Heinrek? It looks exactly like his head.Oh, my God.My turkey.My turkey!

So, when we showed up for the big day, Marshall was pretty bummed out.

bummed out ‚Ş‚Á‚Š‚č‚ľ‚˝

Well, we got the turkey.

No.You didn't.You got the pathetic replacement turkey.Damn it, you know, why didn't I just listen to the prerecorded voice of former Mayor Ed Koch reminding me to take my belongings?

bummed out ‚Ş‚Á‚Š‚č‚ľ‚˝

No, Marshall, you don't understand.

Robin and I went to the Port Authority Lost and Found, and there

Marshall Eriksen, is this your turkey?

Yes! That's my turkey! Come here, you handsome little bastard!

Okay, I'm going to go put this in the oven.

Okay.Oh, my God! You guys are the best friends ever!

It was totally a team effort.I'm so

Guys, I don't know what to say.I mean, it's Thanksgiving, but thanks just doesn't seem like enough.

Come on, buddy, you would've done the same thing for us.

Yeah, I would, and you know why? Because I love you guys.And I'm gonna show you just how much.Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, I bequeath unto you the fourth slap.

bequeath unto `‚đˆâ‘Ą‚ˇ‚é

Wait, what?

Kids, you remember Barney and Marshall's Slap Bet.When Barney lost, Marshall won the right to slap Barney five times as hard as he could.So far, he'd used three of those five slaps.With the third being doled out exactly two years earlier on Thanksgiving Day, 2007.A day that history came to know as Slapsgiving.

dole out —^‚Ś‚é

Are you saying

What we think you're saying?

Probably not.Unless you think I'm saying, Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap, in which case, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying!

No way! Uh-uh.Slaps aren't transferable.

Lily is the Slap Bet Commissioner.Lil?

You

Slaps are transferable.

No!

Transferable!

Transferable!

Wait, Marshall, you realize you'll only have one left after this.Are you sure you want to spend this slap today?

Life is short.I figured, Slap-e diem. Okay, rule number one, the slap must occur before sundown, so as not to interfere with Lily's meal.

Damn straight.

Damn straight ‚Ü‚Á‚˝‚­‚ť‚Ě‚Ć‚¨‚č

Two, you guys have to decide amongst yourselves who gets to do it.Three, we're going to tie Barney to this chair, which shall henceforth be referred to as the slapping throne.Sound fair?

amongst “ŻŽm‚Ĺ henceforth ‚ą‚ĚŽž“_‚ć‚č throne ‰¤Ŕ

Totally.

Amazing.

Absolutely not!

It was all set to be the best Thanksgiving ever, until

Are we expecting somebody else?

It was someone Lily hadn't seen or spoken to in three years.

Dad.

Now, Lily and her dad, Mickey, had always had a tough relationship.Mickey's dream was to invent the next great American board game, but his ideas were always a little off.

Daddy?

Yeah?

You missed my ballet recital.

Yes, sweetie, but, look! I just put the finishing touches on my new, hit board game.Tijuana Slumlord.

Daddy?

Uh-huh.

You missed my gymnastics meet.

gymnastics meet ‘Ěˆç‘ĺ‰ď

Yeah, yeah, yeah.But this is the one! Car Battery.How Long Can You Hold On? Ah, here, princess.Grab these.

Daddy?

Hmm?

I had a nightmare.

Oh, sweetie.Here.Come play Daddy's new game.There's a Clown Demon Under the Bed!

Her whole life, Mickey disappointed Lily, and she always put up with it, until one day in 2006, when Lily went to visit her grandparents.

put up with ‰ä–‚ˇ‚é

So, Rita, are you excited about the big move to Florida?

Actually, dear, slight change of plans.We're staying here for the time being.

for the time being “–•Ş‚ĚŠÔ

We had a slight financial hiccup.

hiccup ˆęŽž“I‚ȏáŠQ

Ma! The straw to my juice box broke! Ma, chop-chop! Oh, hey, guys.What a pleasant surprise.

Dad, what happened to your apartment?

Oh, well, I had a little falling-out with my roommate.

have a falling out with someone over ƒPƒ“ƒJ‚ˇ‚é

What happened?

Uh, he wanted me to pay rent.Got kind of ugly.

Dad! You should be paying rent, not living in your parents' basement.

Hey, it's not my first choice.Having the old farts right upstairs is crimping my style a bit.Clearly, they're not getting the whole sock-on-the-doorknob thing.

Oh, they caught you with a girl?

In a way.

In a way ‚ ‚éˆÓ–Ą‚Ĺ‚Í

Bye, sweetheart.I'm off to work.

Work? You're retired.

Now that I have an extra mouth to feed, I had to go back to the steel mill.Rita? Where's my truss?

mouth to feed •}—{‰Ć‘° steel mill ť|Š truss ƒwƒ‹ƒjƒAƒoƒ“ƒh

So, not only did you stop them from moving to Florida, but now you forced Grandpa to go back to work?

Just until I get Aldrin Games Unlimited off the ground, with my new sensation, Dog Fight Promoter.

off the ground ‹O“š‚ɏć‚Á‚Ä

And then Lily gave her dad a look that Marshall had only seen a few times before, a look we all prayed never to be on the receiving end of.Her you're-dead-to-me look.Which brings us back to Thanksgiving of 2009.

Hey, princess.I brought Diseases!

My God! What is my father doing here?

I don't know, but maybe we should let him in and find out.

No, I don't want to see him! Get rid of him!

Hey, Mickey.Just hang tight, okay? We'll work this out.

Just hang tight ‚Ć‚É‚Š‚­Šć’Ł‚é‚ń‚ž

Take your time, amigo.I'm okay, as long as I have Diseases! The fun's infectious.

infectious ‹O“š‚ɏć‚Á‚Ä infectious ‚¤‚‚č‚₡‚˘

God, I hope Lily's okay.

Me, too.She doesn't talk about it much, but this thing with her dad causes her a lot of pain.

Just tell me which one of you is gonna slap me!

What?

I'm dying over here! Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch! Robin fixes her hair, I flinch! I'm doing so much flinching.It's bad for my skin.I'm getting crow's feet.Crow's feet!

flinch ƒMƒNƒŠ‚Ć‚ˇ‚é crow's feet –Ú‚ś‚č‚Ě‚ľ‚í

Lily, come on.It's been three years, okay? That's long enough.

Having him in my life causes me nothing but stress.It's just easier for him to be dead to me.

Okay, Lily, look.I supported you when our neighbor, Mr.Ossias, was dead to you.

Hey! That's our newspaper.

You'll get it back in 15 minutes.Make it 20.I had a steak last night.

And I was fine when your bridesmaid, Whitney, was dead to you.

Lily! You look so amazing!

That dress is gorgeous!

Thanks, guys.

Hmm.I l'm just not a fan of strapless.

I even understood when Mr.Park from the bodega downstairs was dead to you.

One coffee, please.But only if you have decaf.I don't want to be up all night.

$1.50.

Coffee, regular.

$1.50.

Excuse me.Are you sure mine was decaf? You just used the same pot.

I lie to him.Okay?

Okay.

You son of a bitch.That was not decaf!

I supported you with all of those random people, but this is your father.Okay, can't we at least just give him some turkey?

No.

Come on, Lily.Please, I can't ask the guy to leave on Thanksgiving.

Oh, you don't have to ask.Just tell him that it's really important that he be here.And before you know it, he'll be at a board game convention in Toledo, giving your braces money to some guy claiming to be Milton Bradley.

He was just out trying to provide for the family.

No.No, that's what my mom did by working two jobs.Marshall, that man broke my heart every single day for 20 years.

Well, then we'll just give him some dark meat.

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