ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"There's nothing to do but sit back and await our inevitable doom."

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ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzField Trip

Kids, I was wandering the city with 25 Intro to Architecture students when your Uncle Barney came to my rescue.

Okay, guys, seeing a building get built, not that exciting.What's really exciting is the financial side of

Sit down, Ted, I got this.Hey, Weird Beard, lights! College it's a confusing time.

Oh, no.

Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need sex lessons! Lights!

Barney, these are 18-year-olds!

Ted, these are 18-year-olds!

You have a girlfriend.

But she doesn't like Ewoks!

So what?

So what?! Bieber, lights! In 1983, George Lucas introduced the world to the Ewoks, a race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor.Now, the Ewoks have a rich back-story that the movie didn't really go into.

indigenous ćZ‚Ě

Barney, why don't you just skip to the part about you and Nora?

Fine.Ah, yes.Ultimately, Ewoks split Star Wars fandom into two camps: those born before, and those born after May 25, 1973: the Ewok Line.Anyone born on this side of the Ewok Line was at least ten years old when Jedi came out, and thus too old for something so cloying and cute.Anyone born on this side loved the Ewoks because, why? They reminded you of

Our teddies?

They reminded you of your teddies.Thank you, Gina.

How do you know her name?

And so by the immutable laws of the Ewok Line, my 29-year-old girlfriend who hates Ewoks must in fact be no younger than 37.That's only a year younger than Will's mom.

immutable •s•Ď‚Ě

How do you know my mom?

Class dismissed! I need to be alone.

dismiss ‰đŽU‚ł‚š‚é

All right, we're moving on.

Ooh, can I come?

Hey, baby.

Hey, I just want to remind you we have Dr.Sonya at 4:00.

I'll be there.I'm sorry.I'm just I'm bummed.We got our settlement offer today: $24,000 from a billion-dollar company.

Wow.I take it people aren't happy about that.

We won! Champagne and cake for everybody!

They're celebrating.I mean, it's crazy.We have no right to be eating cake.

There's cake?! I'm on my way!

Meanwhile, the worst field trip of all time was still trucking.

All right, this, this is exciting, okay? This is the very room where I had the idea for the GNB Tower.Now, Webster's defines "inspiration" as Hold on.It's still loading.

Uh, hey, roomie.

Robin! Hey, what are you doing here?

Well, I was about to get my swerve on.

swerve ‚ť‚ę‚é

You were?

So you're the therapist.You know, it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients.That's normal.But to do it for real? A little creepy, bro.

Okay, it's not creepy.

Ehhhh it's creepy.

Class, show of hands: Who thinks it's creepy to date your therapist?

Pollstered.Get out!

Pollster ˘˜_’˛¸ˆő

All right.We're moving on!

So, class, to your left, you will see some excellent examples of what we'd call windows.

So where are we going now?

I have no idea.This is a disaster.Some of them are already starting to go home.Although we seem to have picked up a German family.

Wait a minute.Wait a minute.That thing with Robin and her creepy therapist gave me an idea.Ted, we have here a way to solve every single debate we've ever had! I mean, just look at the sample: guys, girls, blacks, Asians, a German family.You can't pay for that kind of focus group!

Is macaroni salad really a salad? Hands up if you say "no." Ha!

Jacob or Edward? Who says Edward? Ha, ha.See? I told you.It's Edward James Olmos.

Would you rather have sex with a dead human being or a live an?

Dude.

What?

Find the line.

Who thinks David Hasselhoff is awesome? Hmm.It's true.

Okay.I've got one.If you're dating a girl, and she lies about her age, who says break up with her?

Yes, yes, but what if the person she's lying to is notoriously shallow about age?

notoriously ˆŤ–ź‚‚­‚ŕ shallow ó‚Í‚Š‚Č

Okay, but what if early in our relationship, she made a really big deal about wanting to not lie to each other?

What if she's hot?

Who wants five bucks?

Pollstered!

Let's do this.Hmm? Yeah.Mm Okay, this is creepy.

It's Crispin Glover creepy.You were my patient.You shared intimate stuff.It would be like dating your gynecologist.You were vulnerable.That's not something we can move past.

gynecologist •wl‰Čˆă vulnerable ‚‚Ť‚₡‚˘

Guess not.So, dating your gyno, that's bad, too?

Oh, Robin.

Kidding!

Look, we've got another one!

Come on, have a bite.

No, it's a matter of principle.I don't care how good it is, I'm not gonna have a third piece of cake!

Okay, guys, you all had a lot of fun today, but now it's time to have even more fun! Another cake!

Another cake?! What is the matter with you people?! That settlement today was a flaming pile of puppies that aren't on fire! Look at what's happening to the environment, and we're here doing the limbo? I mean, we should be ashamed of ourselves!

Sir, all I meant was

Ten years from right now, everyone outside in that bullpen will be dead.

bullpen —Ż’uę

What?

I've seen the latest research, Marsh.You know how I'm always saying it's not too late to save the planet? It's too late to save the planet.There's nothing to do but sit back and await our inevitable doom.Oh, my goodness, a pinata! Just give me one minute, Larry.Thank you.Our grotesque, inevitable doom! Now, of course, you can't go around telling all the people that the good ship Environmentalism has sailed off into the sunset.There would cause a panic.So, instead, what we do is, we come to work, we put on a happy face, and we sue the big guys for just enough money for some cake before the unfiltered rays of the sun fry us like chalupas, and our lungs fill up with salt water, and we all die!

inevitable doom ”đ‚Ż‚ç‚ę‚Č‚˘‰^–˝

This cake is delicious.Everything's fine.

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