Ted: So, I guess that decides it.
Barney: Hanging out at a coffee place is not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar.
Ted: Man, what's that?
Ted: That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name. Somebody has a crush on you.
have a crush on に一目ぼれする
Barney: Somebody thinks you're me.
Marshall: Do you really think she likes me? I mean, I guess it's not that surprising. Every time I come in here, I totally crack her up.
crack up 大爆笑させる
Coffee girl: Marshall, here's your pumpkin latte.
Marshall: Wow. How did you fit a pumpkin in this little cup?
Man: I'll have a pumpkin latte.
Marshall: How do they even fit a pumpkin in those little cups? What? You got a shrink ray back there? Yeah.
shrink ray スモールライト
Marshall: Hey, remember that time I said that thing about how do they fit a pumpkin into that little cup?
Coffee girl: Which time?
Marshall: The first time.
Coffee girl: Yeah. That was really funny.
Ted: All right, there's only two reasons she'd laugh at that. One, it's the first joke she's ever heard, or two, she likes you. You should totally ask her out.
Marshall: You think?
Ted: Yeah, that's why you're not back with Lily, right? So you can experience what it's like to be single.
Marshall: Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes it on all the cups?
Ted: Mine says "Ted," no heart.
Barney: Mine says... "Swarley." How'd they get "Swarley" from "Barney"? It's not even a name. Who would ever be called "Swarley"? Oh, please don't start calling me "Swarley." This would never happen at a bar!
swarley The mixture of shit and semen after anal sex
Ted: Man! What's up with Swarley?
Marshall: I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset.
Ted: Hey, guess what? Oh, sorry.
Robin: It's only my mom. She's just rambling on like always. What happened?
Ted: Marshall asked out a girl.
Robin: Wow. Well, if anything, that's Dad's fault. That'll keep her going a while.
Ted: Oh, of course, you know, he had a little help.
Robin: Swarley hooked him up?
Ted: Oh, good. You got my text.
Ted: Oh. No, it was me. I gave Marshall one of my secrets.
Ted: So, what she say?
Marshall: Nothing. I don't think she heard me. It's pretty busy up there.
Ted: What? You gave her the look right? Head down, eyes looking up, hands in pockets, shoulders up, head slightly tilted, conveying shy vulnerability.
convey 告げる vulnerability 脆弱性
Marshall: I think so. Look, can we just go?
Coffee guy: Pumpkin latte for Marshall.
Marshall: I didn't order that. Phone number.
Robin: I love that look. I think I slept with you because of that look. And it's fake?
Ted: Oh, and you biting your lower lip, shyly looking away and thrusting your chest out is natural?
Robin: Yeah, I hear you.
I hear you 言いたいことは分かるよ なるほどね
Lily: Hey, guys. Are you free tomorrow night? I was thinking of having a wine tasting slash "help me catch the rat in my apartment" party.
Ted: That's a great idea. You can put out cheese for both.
Lily: I should invite Marshall, right? It'd be weird if I didn't.
Ted: Yeah, I don't think he can go.
Lily: Really? Why not?
Robin: Uh, okay, um... Lily, we have to tell you something. Marshall has a date.
Lily: Oh. Well... good for him.
Ted: Really? You're okay with it?
Lily: Look, we've been broken up almost six months. I mean, I'm not thrilled about the idea, but he has every right to date someone else.
Robin: That's very mature.
Lily: Why are you holding the phone?
Robin: Oh, shoot. That's hilarious, Mom. Didn't even notice.
Ted: Hey, dude, by the way, I really like that suit. Tell me about the fabric. Is it foreign or something?
Barney: Wow. It is foreign. I'm impressed, Ted. It's Moroccan, actually.
Carl: I got a call for Swarley. Is there a Swarley here?
Barney: You weren't interested in my suit at all, were you?
Ted: Yeah, I know he's there. It's really important. Could you ask again?
Carl: Important call for Swarley!
Marshall: Geez, can't you hear him, Swarley? There's a call for you.
Barney: Stop calling me that.
Marshall: Uh... Hey, I'd like you guys to officially meet Chloe.
Chloe: Hi. It's nice to meet you guys. I'll be right back.
Marshall: It's right back there. Right? Right? She's hot! And she likes me? She likes Italian food. I also like Italian food. She likes Billy Joel. I also like... music. And I think we're going to go out again.
Barney: Dude, you gotta ditch her.
Barney: She's got the crazy eyes.
Ted: Dude. The eyes. They're crazy.
Marshall: What are you guys talking about, the crazy eyes?
Barney: It's a well-documented condition of the pupils, or pupi.
Ted: No. Just pupils.
Barney: It's an indicator of future mental instability.
indicator サイン instability 不安定度
Marshall: She does not have the crazy eyes.
Ted: You just can't see it because you're afflicted with "haven't been laid in a while" blindness.
afflict 苦しめる、悩ます blindness 盲目
Barney: She was too far away in the coffee place, but when I saw her up close just now...
Marshall: Hey, I'd like you guys to officially meet Chloe.
Chloe: Hi. It's nice to meet you guys.
Marshall: Guys, I'm not going to stop dating Chloe just because you think she has the crazy eyes.
Barney: You can keep going out with her, but you're gonna regret it. One time, I met a girl at this very bar. I saw that she had the crazy eyes... But I ignored it. And then, sure enough.
Girl: Barney, can I ask you a question?
Girl: Would you like to have a threesome?
Barney: Of course.
Girl: Great. It'll be you, me and Mr. Weasels.
Ted: So, did you do it?
Barney: No. It ended up being just a twosome with the third one watching from a chair.
Ted: Which one were you?
Barney: I'd rather not say.
Ted: Look, there was a time I didn't believe in the crazy eyes either, and then I met Jeanine. She had serious crazy eyes. I told myself I was just imagining it, but then...
Ted: So, should we go get a drink?
Jeanine: As long as it's in your apartment.
As long as 〜であるならば、〜ということであれば
Driver: Whoa, I'm sorry.
Jeanine: Watch! Where! You're! Going! So, where do you live?
Marshall: You guys, Chloe is not gonna do any of that stuff. She's a nice girl from Nebraska. She's not crazy. She's... she's awesome.