Kids, when you're in your 30s and live in New York, there's a few places you just never want to be.Times Square on New Year's Eve.Rockefeller Center around Christmastime.
But most of all
A college bar? Man, we're probably gonna run into my students.They're gonna corner me and want a free lecture.I don't even have my slide projector.
run into 偶然に出会う corner 隅に追いやる
Ted, I've been skee ball champ here since law school.I have to pop in at least once a month to maintain my record.
Whoa, looks like you've been gone awhile.Some guy named Big Fudge has been cleaning up.
Yeah, he has.
And you're Big Fudge.
The biggest.So, by the way, I have to tell you something.
I invited Jenkins.
Jenkins? No way.
We'd all started hearing about Jenkins a few weeks earlier.
You guys will not believe what Jenkins did this time.
He's this hilarious new lawyer at Marshall's office.
Hilarious! Okay, so, there's this jar of maraschino cherries in the fridge at work, so Jenkins says, 200 bucks, I'll eat the whole jar.So we give Jenkins 200 bucks, and Jenkins ate the whole jar! Jenkins.
And after that, the stories kept coming.
So the CFO comes in to sign some acquisition papers.So Jenkins goes, Excuse me, Mr.Wilcox.I think we forgot one of the documents.Jenkins!
So we all go out for beers after work.Jenkins gets up on the table and starts gyrating like some sort of deranged stripper.Next thing you know, off comes the shirt.It was so gross.
gyrating dance 挑発的なダンス deranged 精神が錯乱した
Well, it'll be great to finally meet the famous Jenkins after all those stories.
Yeah.And there's about to be one more story.I'm gonna bang Jenkins.
You heard me.
You want to have sex with Jenkins?
With Jenkins, on Jenkins, near Jenkins.You name it.I want to wear Jenkins like a sock.
You But you're Haven't you all I'm Really?
Ted, this is Jenkins.
Look, this is gonna sound crazy, but I thought Jenkins was a guy.
What? That's crazy.What gave you that idea?
I don't know, maybe the whole Jenkins peed-out-the-window-of-a-cab story.
Yeah.Much more impressive now, isn't it?
Okay, I'll come clean! It all started a few weeks ago.
By the way, four eyes, new lawyer.This is Jenkins.Watch out for this guy.He steals stuff.
I don't steal stuff.And I don't wear glasses.I'm Marshall.
Hi, Marshall.So, are you really a Vikings fan, or was he lying about that, too?
Why? Is this a trap? Are you a Packers fan? My wife knows I'm here.She doesn't have money, but what she does have is a very special set of skills.
I'm a Vikings fan, too.I bleed purple and gold.I'm from Pelican Rapids!
Pelican Rapids? No way!
My grandpa lives in Pelican Rapids.Well, I mean, he's dead now, but he haunts a barn off Route 108.
Whoa! Hold it.Hold it.Dude, if you tell me you have a thing for a woman that is not your wife, I will drag you outside and kick your ass.
Okay, first of all, come on, buddy.You can't handle the Fudge.Second of all, no, I think of her like a big brother, who, I guess, has boobs.But so does my oldest brother, Marvin Jr.Anyway, that night, I told Lily about
I can't wait to meet him.
I should have corrected her.It would have been so easy.But I didn't.So, after that, whenever I talked about Jenkins, I always avoided pronouns.
So the head of marketing comes in to choose people for the mid-west audit.So he goes, him, him, her, him, him, Jenkins, him, her
I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell Lily.Do you really think she'd be all that jealous?
Ted, think about those stories I told you.
Yeah, I could see how that'd be a problem.
Exactly.That's why Lily can't find out.
Lily can't find out what?
That Marshall's gonna buy her a horse.
You are? That is so awesome! I love those things! Guys, why is that kid over there staring at me? I think I know what this is.I think it has finally happened.I'm getting recognized from my show.
Robin, that is so cute.But that's Scotty.He's one of my students, and he's looking at me.How weird is it that I'm more famous than you?
Not at all, 'cause you're not.I'm on TV.
Yeah, and I have 30 students in my class.That's what, 30 times your viewership? Now let's give Scotty a little thrill.Buying a drink for the old prof.All right, Scotter, one question about neo-classical architecture and that is it.
You're Robin Scherbatsky, right?
Yes, I am.
Wow! Look, I didn't mean to stare.It's just I watch your show all the time.
Totally! What are you doing out with Ted?
It's Professor Mosby.
Holy crap! Robin Scherbatsky's friends with my econ professor!
It's architecture! All right, you know what, Scotty, you're crowding us.Hit the bricks.
crowd せっつく Hit the bricks ストライキに入る
Wait a minute.You're Big Fudge!
Hey, baby, I'm on my way up.
There was a measles outbreak at school and they called a half-day.Thought I'd come by here, have lunch, maybe give you the measles?
Okay.Um.I have a problem.That was my wife.When I first mentioned you, she mistakenly thought you were a guy, and so
So now you're worried that once she finds out I'm a woman, she's gonna totally flip out.
flip out カッとなる
Oh, jeez.Oh, gosh.Okay, okay.I was in an improv group in Pelican Rapids.Follow my lead.
Hey, baby Hi, I'm Lily, Marshall's wife.
Hi, Lily.I'm from the French Embassy.I'm here because of a small but significant cheese incident that occurred.
Yeah, well, that Camembert crisis isn't gonna resolve itself, so I'll catch you guys on the flip-flop.
Marshall cringed.This was the moment he had feared.
cringed 身を縮めた feared 心配した
The famous Jenkins! How about that? Funny, I was picturing a guy.Anyhoo, lunch?
Wait.So you're not jealous at all?
Sweetie, I never have to worry about you with another woman.
Right, well, 'cause we're so hopelessly in love, right?
Yeah, sure.Anyhoo, lunch?