Barney: It's like an entire country without a tailor.
Robin: Yeah, give me two coffees.
Women: $3.50, please. Hey, what did you think of the game last night?
Robin: What game?
Women: The Leafs beat Edmonton. Beauchemin went five hole in OT.
Robin: Oh, I guess I missed it.
Women: Oh, sorry. You're American. Here's your change.
Robin: I'm not American.
Women: American money? Didn't watch the Leafs game? No "please" or "thank you" for the coffee? You sure don't seem like a Canadian.
Barney: What's wrong? Other than the fact that this five dollar bill they gave you is blue.
Robin: Wow. I'm not American, and apparently, I'm not Canadian either.
Barney: And there's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you.
Marshall: I don't want this anymore.
Ted: Dude, don't look at it. That's a rookie mistake.
Marshall: We shouldn't have left Lily.
Ted: Well, if you're so worried, why don't you give her a call?
Marshall: I have. I left her, like, 20 messages. I said, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It's all Ted's fault!"
Ted: What exactly is "Ted's fault"?
Marshall: This! This whole thing! We were having a perfectly nice trip, and then you kidnapped me. You didn't even let me, put on underwear!
Ted: We never used to put on underwear! That was the fun of a bro's trip to Gazzola's! We left everything, and everyone behind. It was just you and me! But now it's like you've disappeared into Lily.
Marshall: That is not true.
Ted: It is true. You're not upset because you're worried she's mad. You're upset because you'd rather be with her, eating muffins than here with me, eating this delicious... I think one of my mushrooms just crawled away.
Marshall: Well, you know what? That mushroom's not the only thing that's living. Car keys, please.
Barney: Look at this money! This one has a moose, this one has a beaver, and they all have Elton John on the back.
Robin: When I moved to the States, I swore to myself, I wasn't going to change. And yet, here I am, in the most Canadian place in the universe- Tim Horton's- around the corner from the Hockey Hall of Fame, and I don't belong. It's like I don't have a country.
Barney: Okay, that's it. Attention, Canada! I am Barney from America. And I'm here to fix your backward-ass country. Number one: get real money. Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a "joke". Number two- and this is the biggie- Quit letting awesome chicks like Robin Scherbatsky get away because, guess what? You don't want her? I'm planting my flag in her- if you know what I mean, which you probably don't- and getting her the hell out of here. You may now return to being pointless. Ah, this coffee is excellent. Oh. Hey, fellas. It's called a "tie".
Kenny: Sparky was my best friend, but after I married Helen, old Spark started to feel a little left out. For so long, it had been just me and him, but now he suddenly felt like Helen had taken his place. What Sparky didn't realize was, even though I loved Helen, I still loved him, too. I had room in my heart for both of them. But maybe I should have put aside some special ball-tossing time just for the two of us t o make sure Sparky knew that he was a good boy. I wish now I had, 'cause old Sparky ran out in front of a Cadillac and got splattered like a watermelon in one of them Gallagher shows.
Marshall: I'm sorry, Ted!
Ted: I'm sorry! No, I'm sorry. I never should have been mad at you!
Marshall: No, I never should have brought lily. She pees all the time, even at the apartment. Still bros?
Ted: Best bros. Hey, you want to crank some Van Halen just like old times?
Marshall: Hells, yeah!
Ted: Or listen to the Sparky book again?
Marshall: Listen to the Sparky book again.
Ted: Okay. Let's listen to it again.
Barney: Man, those Canadian doctors banded me up, reset my jaw, put my shoulder back in its socket, and they didn't even bill me. Idiots. All right, I guess they're no idiots. The coffee was extraordinary. Huh. I guess Canada's not so bad. They play their cards right, maybe they can even become a state someday.
Robin: Barney, I've thought about this. When you stood up and told off those people, I thought, "Yeah, America's cool."
Robin: And then when those guys pounded the stuffing out of you, I thought, "Yeah, Canada's pretty cool, too." I may have taken a few pokes myself. So, I've decided, dual citizenship. I'm going to be American and Canadian.
pound 何度も強打する take a poke at 殴る
Barney: Wait, you can do that?
Robin: Yeah, dummy. Instead of being a woman with no country, I'm going to be a woman with two.
Barney: I see.
Robin: You understand?
Barney: No, I can see out of my left eye again.
Marshall: Hey, baby? Baby?
Lily: Hmm? Yeah?
Marshall: I'm so sorry that we left you.
Lily: Did you go somewhere, sweetie?
Narator: Yes, kids, it turns out Crumpet Manor had pampered Lily into a nearly comatose state of relaxation. She didn't even notice we were gone.
pamper 満足させる comatose 意識がない
Lily: Mmm... Oh, oh, oh... Yeah...
Lily: So, I had a great time, too.
Marshall: That's good. And I'm so sorry you didn't get any pizza.
Lily: Oh, that's okay.
Narator: And if she didn't mean it then, she certainly meant it 19 minutes later.
Marshall: God, my stomach! Damn you, Gazzola's!
Ted: It's like a hot ball of lead!
Marshall: Baby, cut it out of me.
Marshall: That was a wild trip, huh, Ted?
Ted: I know. It was kind of crazy. But how great is it to drink some Tantrum again?
Marshall: You know who had fun, was Lily. Lily drank like, four cans of the stuff. Right Lil'? Where's Lily?
Lily: Tantrum! I have to pee.