Marshall: How much does Korean Elvis rock? I'll answer that. Infinity. He rocks... infinity.
Lily: Okay, it's time for bed.
Barney: What? No. It's 2:30.
Lily: Nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m.
Barney: You know, I have found, in my travels... that all the best things in life happen after 2:00 a.m. When I look back at the best stories of my life-- the Liberty Bell incident, the little scrape I got in at the Russian Embassy, the almost four-way.
Marshall: You never had a four-way.
Barney: I said "almost." All those things happened after 2:00 a.m. because after 2:00 a.m. is when things get audience, say it with me legendary.
Lily: We're going home.
Barney: What's that? Interesting theory, Barney, but I'll need some proof? Okay. Korean Elvis. How would you like to have a drink with me and my friends?
Korean Elvis: Rock'n'roll.
Barney: And it begins.
Ted: So, um... Hey. I got a new phone. Same as yours. Look.
Robin: Oh, yeah. Do you like it?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah. This is some solid small talk. I had that other phone, and it was good, but I think the whole time a little part of me wanted this phone instead. This phone... um... feels right.
Robin: Wow. Weird.
Ted: Yeah. Uh, I should probably take this.
Robin: I'll be here.
Korean Elvis: Ted, this is your main man, K.E. I want you to shake your tail feathers down here ASAP, you dig?
Marshall: Sorry about that.
Ted: Was that Korean Elvis?
Marshall: I'll explain later. Hey, we're headed down to MacLaren's.
Ted: Um... Actually... I'm at Robin's. Yeah, and, um... I might have done something bad. I just lied and told her I broke up with Victoria.
Marshall: Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?
bleep 日本語の「ピー」にあたる言葉。隠されるのは expletive＝罵り言葉、４文字言葉などの卑猥な言葉
Ted: What do you expect from me? It's Robin. Victoria's great, but, it's Robin. I've made up my mind. I'm going to end it with Victoria.
expect from 〜に期待する、〜から思い浮かべる make up one's mind 決める 決心する
Ted: Yes. First thing tomorrow.
Lily: Okay, but, but, as of right now at-at... 2:45 a.m. you still have a girlfriend. Ted, I love you. I love Robin. But if you do this right now, your entire future with her will be built on a crime. Just go home, Ted. Don't do this the wrong way.
as of その時点で as of right now 現時点で
Ted: I hate how you're always right.
Lily: It's my best and most annoying trait.
annoying 気に障る trait 特徴
Ted: Okay. I'm coming home. I'll see you soon.
Ted: I should probably get going. It's pretty late. I'm sorry. I...
Robin: Oh. Oh, no. I understand. It's fine. Yeah.
Ted: Can I call you tomorrow?
Robin: Totally. Totally. Call me tomorrow.
Ted: Okay. Good night, Robin.
Robin: Good night, Ted.
Robin: Oh, my God. We're making out.
Robin: This is crazy.
Ted: Right? Right?
Robin: Should we go to my room? I mean, there's five dogs in there, but...
Ted: Yeah. I just, um... I have to run to the bathroom real quick.
Ted: Stop doing that.
Victoria: Whatcha doin'?
Ted: I'm calling you. We're breaking up. I'm doing this right now, I'm coming out of this bathroom a single man.
Victoria: Okay. Say, Ted... how long do you think that conversation's going to be? Length of an average pee? No. We're gonna be on the phone for at least 20 minutes. Robin's out there. She's gonna think you're in here taking a massive...
take a massive breath 大きく息を吸う
Ted: What do you want from me? People break up. It happens.
Victoria: Not like this. Not from the bathroom of the girl that you're about to sleep with.
Ted: It's not ideal.
Narator: Meanwhile, back at the bar, Barney was still trying to prove that good things can happen after 2:00 a.m.
Barney: Come on, Lily. How many women can say they've been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?
Lily: I think he just spat on me.
Marshall: Barney, you tried, I think that's great, but we're going.
Barney: No! No, come on.
Barney: Dude, we haven't hit legendary yet. We're only at the "le". We still got the "gen." The "da." The "ry."
Lily: Okay, if we're at the "le," then I say we follow it up with a "t's go home."
follow up with 引き続いて〜する、〜で追い打ちをかける
Marshall: Oh, wow, you just got burned, phonics style.
Korean Elvis: No, no, no, no, no. Baby, baby, baby, don't go. Just one dance, huh?
Lily: Okay, seriously.
Korean Elvis: Hey, I know what you like.
Narator: And so, Barney was right-- the night was legendary. It would come to be known as The Time Lily Kicked Korean Elvis in the Nards.
Marshall: Hey, you guys remember the time that Lily kicked Korean Elvis in the Nards?
Ted: You're right. I owe you a real breakup call. I'll call you tomorrow.
Victoria: Good. So you're gonna go home?
Ted: Why should I have to go home? You know, there's every chance Robin's the woman I'm going to marry.
Ted: It could happen. And so really, what's it gonna matter in 50 years if I jump the gun by one night? Look, I-I know this is a moral gray area, but... It's Robin. And I'm exhausted. I am. I'm exhausted from pretending I'm not in love with her. I think that makes this okay.
jump the gun 早まった行動をする pretending 見せ掛けの、偽りの
Victoria: Oh, please. You just want to get laid.
Ted: Yes, I do. You got me. That is exactly what I want right now. And so what? I want this. She wants this. It's happening, and if you have a problem with it, don't be in Germany. It's been nice pretending to talk to you. Thanks for not calling me and good night.
Victoria: That's not your phone.
Ted: This isn't my phone.
Robin: Okay. Bye. I thought it was mine, so I answered it.
Ted: Was it...?
Robin: It was your girlfriend. You might want to call her back.
Narator: I called Victoria from the cab and we broke up. Yes... And there you have it, kids. The stupidest thing I've ever done. In one night, I managed to hurt two people I cared about. And none of it would've happened if I just listened to my mom. So I guess if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's this: when it's 2:00 a.m., just go to sleep.