Kids, you may be wondering how many of these stories I'm telling you are true.It's a fair question.After all, there's a fine line between a good story and a bald-faced lie.I never met anyone who could work that line better than your Uncle Barney.Heck, he could jump rope with it.
After all 結局は bald-faced 厚かましい
I love to travel myself.
Where's the best place you've visited?
Hawaii's nice.A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that's a good spot.But the best place, I'd have to say the moon.Hi, Neil Armstrong.
No! You did not convince a girl you were the first man to walk on the moon! That happened seven years before you were born.
Ted, baby doll, minor hurdle.
Oh, yeah, our spaceship passed through a wormhole or some gamma rays or something.I started aging backwards, blah, blah, blah.So, you work in a yogurt shop, that must be wild.
wormhole ワームホール bald-faced 厚かましい
Although, I did actually work in a yogurt store in high school.And it was indeed wild.
Anywho, 20 minutes later, the eagle landed.We knocked space boots.Houston, we have a moaner.Other space related double entendres.
double entente 二重の意味
Why do you feel the need to lie all the time?
I'm not lying! Guys, we made sweet love.I got pictures.
I hate my job.
What are you talking about? I thought you just interviewed the mayor.
Mayor McWoof.He wears a dog costume, and teaches kids not to litter.At least he's supposed to.
I don't want to talk about Mayor McWoof.I want to talk about these amazing insoles from Bon Appe-Feet! Just look how shock absorbent they are!
A prop! The table's a prop! We'll be right back.We'll be right back.
Oh! Sorry, Robin.Got bored.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Man, just one decent interview would be so nice for a change.
decent まともな for a change 息抜き
Fine.I'll look at my schedule, see when I'm available.But I want a list of questions ahead of time, and my personal life is off limits.
ahead of time 前もって off limits 立ち入り禁止
Ted, you caught seven peanuts in a row.It's impressive but it's not newsworthy.
You caught seven in a row?
Seven in a row.
But that's not what I'm talking about.No, I'm talking about how I was selected to build a scale model of the Empire State Building, for the largest re-creation of the New York skyline in the world.
Is that the thing you were playing with the other night?
I wasn't playing.I was working.
It's you.It's me.I saw you in the street.Are you Annie? Yes.
Ted? Are you acting out the last scene of Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
How long have you been out here?
Yeah.Just the last scene.
Ooh! That's the pizza.Baby, do you have any cash?
Oh! You know, I don't I actually I don't think that I should have to pay, 'cause I'm not a fan of pizza.
Marshall, we've driven halfway across the country for a piece of pizza, literally, hundreds of times.
I once caught you eating pizza in the shower.
Marshall, there's a cartoon of you on our coupons.
I'm not saying Marshall's a guy who likes pizza, but last time he went in for a physical, doctor says, Marshall, you got to stop eating pizza.Marshall says, Why? Doc says, So I can examine you.But seriously, we kid because we love.
All right, look, the reason that I don't have any money on me is because I got mugged.
get mugged 強奪される
Can somebody please pay Arthur, all right? I'm starving.How's your dad, by the way?
Oh, my God! You got mugged?
Who mugged you? Was he wearing a black skull-knit cap and a five o'clock shadow? Did he say, Stick them up?
Yes, Barney, because I got mugged in 1947, at the corner of Abbott and Costello.No.I was cutting through Central Park on my way home from work.
Watch it.Don't get any closer.
It's cool.It's cool.
It was completely terrifying.
It was completely terrifying.
What are you doing?
I'm rehearsing.I'm gonna pretend this happened to me later to try and get some sympathy sex.
Barney, that won't work.Will it?
I'll allow it.
I can't believe someone pointed a gun at my Marshmallow! I'm shaking! I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight.
Aw! Here, sweetie.I have something that will help you sleep.Just stick this under your pillow.You'll sleep like a freaking baby.
Robin, put that away!
It's not gonna hurt anyone.The safety's on.
Okay, you know what, let's all just relax.We don't need a gun.I'd just like to forget this ever happened and try to move on with my life.
I'd just like to forget this ever happened, and try to move on with my life.This is great stuff.I think I'm going to add tears, though.
Listen, baby, I know that it's scary, but look at me.I'm fine, okay? Can't we just put this behind us?
That's gold.But I'm gonna switch it to "putting me behind you.
Baby, you don't have to worry about me.I mean, yes, I'm a little scared.But I'm a New Yorker, I'm not gonna let this change me.
I've changed! I'm a gun person now.Clip!
Yeah, maybe we should - just take a break for a little bit.
I said, "Clip!"
You want to get a gun?
Not a scary one.Just a cute, little pink Beretta that matches these adorable strappy sandals I just bought.By the way, our new credit card works.
You don't need a gun.Every statistic in the world points to the fact that it's safer not to have a gun in the home than to have one.Especially in our home.You know how I'm always accidentally injuring you.
Pretty easy, right?
Hurry up, baby.The party's about to start.
Oh, my God, Lily! I thought you were going as a sexy cat!
I changed my mind.
And now you want to bring a gun into that equation?
I know, you're right, but every time I close my eyes, I picture that guy pointing a gun at you.And you're my whole world, Marshall.If something ever happened to you, I would just I would just
Okay, okay.I know.I know.I know.Okay, look, I got to admit something.That mugging didn't happen exactly the way that I said it did.
Aha! So he was wearing a black skull-knit cap! Told you!
No, he wasn't wearing a black skull-knit cap.
He wasn't wearing anything.