Narator: Kids, there's nothing more wonderful than New York City in the winter... except the view of New York City in the winter through your apartment window. In the winter of 2006, Marshall, Lily, Robin and I were all deep in couple hibernation mode. Sadly, this left Uncle Barney out in the cold.
Barney: Okay. All-night rave, abandoned tire factory in Newark. We're on the list. Who's in?
Barney: Private jet. Teeterboro Airport, skinny-skydiving. Who's in?
Marshall, Lily, Robin: No, thanks.
Barney: One beer. Bar, downstairs, 15 second walk. Who's in?
Marshall: Shh... Lily went sleepy-bye.
Narator: It got so bad, Barney tried to be his own wingman.
Barney: Hi. Have you met me?
Narator: Finally, he decided to bring in reinforcements.
Barney: Yes. And do you know why? Hang on to your bedsores, grandparents from Willy Wonka, because guess who's on his way up to this apartment right now? My... wait for it... brother, James. React.
hang on to 〜にしがみつく bedsore 床ずれ.
Robin: You have a brother?
Barney: Yeah. He's the awesome-est, most best looking-est, greatest guy ever.
Lily: He's exactly like Barney.
Barney: That's what I just said.
Ted: Well, Barney and his brother aren't exactly alike. James is gay.
Robin: Really? I never in a million years would I picture you with a gay brother, that's awesome.
Ted: Yeah. I just wanted you to have a heads up, so you don't act all surprised when he gets here.
heads up 前もって言っておくけど
James: What up, New York.
Robin: Thanks for the heads up.
Robin: How in God's name did it never come up that Barney has a gay, black brother?
how in God’s name いらだちや驚きを強調して｢いったい｣｢そもそも｣などを意味する
Ted: Is he black? I guess I'm the kind of person that focuses on who people are on the inside rather than the color of their skin. I'm kidding, I just wanted to see your face.
Marshall: Yeah, so now the wedding's back on.
back on 再開している
Lily: Anyway, James, how have you been?
how have you been 元気にしてた？
James: Awesome, as per "yoozh." I just went skinny-skydiving. Legendary. And my laser tag team, just made it to regional finals."Legendarier." And by now you've noticed the suit. go 'head, touch it. Handcrafted by Pietro Dellacamera, Milan's famous 101-year-old tailor who upon completing the very last stitch in this suit dropped dead, which is ironic because that is how gorgeous I look in it. C'mon. Gimme five.
as per 〜の通り yoozh =usual ironic 皮肉な
Barney: Is "gimme five" back?
James: Oh, yeah. I put it in my blog this morning.
Barney: Guys, "gimme five" is back!
Ted: Oh, James, this is my girlfriend, Robin.
Robin: Hey. It's so nice to meet you.
James: You, too.
Robin: So, I have to ask, there's a story here.
Barney and James: Please.
Narator: The truth is, Barney and James got a lot of... different explanations from their mom over the years.
Mere: Well, boys, you look different because when I was pregnant with you, I only ate vanilla ice cream. And when I was pregnant with you, can you guess what kind of ice cream I ate?
Mere: No, James, I ate chocolate ice cream. But I did drink tons of coffee when I was pregnant with both of you. Can't smoke without my coffee.
Mere: I don't know, boys, I guess it's just one of those things.
Mere: Stop asking me! You know what you two are? You're little racists!
Ted: So what are you guys gonna do tonight?
Barney: I'll tell you what James is gonna do. He's gonna do the job you've been neglecting. And, as always, he'll do it a lot better than you ever did. Ted... James is my wingman now.
Marshall: Last time James was in town, Barney got slapped once, lucky twice, and... whose penthouse hot tub did you end up in?
James: Ah, public figure, confidentiality agreement. But I will say this way more back hair than any guy who can afford laser hair removal should have.
public figure 公人 confidentiality agreement 秘密保持契約
Lily: And then there was the time they scored the brother/sister combo.
Barney: It was everything we ever dreamed of when watching Donnie and Marie. She was a little bit country.
James: He was a little bit way into black guys.
way into 〜にずいぶん熱中している
Narator: Yeah, Barney and James together was a lethal combination. Since there was never any crossover in targets, James was always there for Barney with the assist.
James: Whoa. Your scarf... it is fierce!
Women: Thanks. H & M.
James: What? I would never know, 'cause it is so hot that my eyes are melting. Oh, I can't see. Hey! You know, speaking of things that would look good wrapped around you, have you met my straight brother, Barney? Oh, he is fab--don't you go nowhere-- "ulous." Okay?
Narator: And Barney always returned the favor.
Barney: Help, I don't think he's breathing. Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth?
Man: Oh, my God, I do!
Barney: Okay, great. How 'bout you instead?
Barney: Oh, man, I am so excited that you're here! It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun. Uh, yes offense.
James: You guys are still going out with us tonight, right?
Marshall: Tonight? It's after 9:00 and...I have warm soup belly.
James: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Guys... you are young, attractive people here in the greatest city on earth. There are boys and girls in Nobody Cares, Wyoming, wishing they could be here. But instead, they are in someone's basement drinking bad malt liquor, debating whether or not they're going to spend their Saturday night in the parking lot of the feed store or in some other dude's basement. You owe it to them to rise up and shimmy your lazy asses into something hot, and you go out there and you live their dream! Can I get a "hell, yeah"?
Everyone: Hell, yeah!
James: Can I get a "hell, yeah"?
Everyone: Hell, yeah!
James: Can I get a "woo-woo"?
James: Go do it for Wyoming!