ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Slow your roll"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzThe Three Days Rule

He texted back! "I probably shouldn't tell you this."I mean we barely know each other."But what the hell, I'll just say it."

This is it, dude.Here comes the "I love you."

I wish Stan were here.

Stan.

What? "I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend."

"I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend."

Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?

Slow your roll.You? He's clearly talking about me.

slow your roll =To calm down

Dude, it's me.I'm his best friend.

Okay, one: That has never been proven.Two: If anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me.I mean, look at me.Now look at you.A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess.

in the closet ƒQƒC‚Ĺ‚ ‚é‚ą‚Ć‚đ‰B‚ľ‚Ä‚˘‚é

Here's the thing, Barney.I'm snuggly.You're not.Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in a comforter, and it's raining outside, and there's muffins warming in the oven.I'm cuddly, bitch.Deal with it.

snuggly ‚Ę‚­‚Ę‚­‚ľ‚Ä‹CŽ‚ż‚˘‚˘ cuddly •ř‚Ť’÷‚ß‚˝‚­‚Č‚é‚悤‚Č

I work out every day.If there is one thing we know about Ted, it's that he likes a nice body.This body would rock his world.

Ted and I have a history.I know what he likes.There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind... Why do we want to have sex with Ted?

I don't know.It's weird.

Crazy, right? Ted's having gay dreams about me.

And by me, he means M-E, Marshall Eriksen, star of Ted's gay dreams.

Who cares? So Ted has gay dreams about one of you guys.It's not like you found out he has three months to live.That's like shocking, right?

Look at this guy.How's it going best friend of 12 years?

Well, it's kind of weird, but I had this crazy dream the other night.It's a little embarrassing.

You can tell us, Ted.This is a safe space.

Yeah, your feelings are perfectly natural, buddy.

Here's what happened.

And then I proceed to waste a half hour of those bastards' lives, telling them about this dream I had where I ate dinner with my top 5 favorite architects throughout history.

And then, at the end of the meal, Frank Gehry slides the check over to I.M.Pei, and he says, "Buddy, tonight, your name is I.M.Paying." Buckminster Fuller almost did a spit take.And then I woke up.

So, that's it?

No other dreams? Nothing confusing or erotic?

No.

Okay, how about this? You know how at some point in the future, machines will rise up against us?

Sure.

So, the machines they've killed everybody, and all that's left is you, me, and Barney.Which one of us would you, like get with?

And why do I have to get with one of you?

The machines are forcing you.They want to watch.That's just how they get down.

That's a tough one.I guess it would have to be Holly.Robin told me what you guys did.That's why I made up the gay dreams thing.Guys, this is Holly.

Hi.

And I didn't wait your precious three days to call her.I knew where she worked, so I tracked her down.Let me ask you.Did I call you too soon?

I loved that he called me right away.I found it very romantic.And I don't sit around my apartment reading architecture magazines in my old cheerleader uniform.I do that completely naked.

So Holly and I are going out to dinner.

I'll meet you out front.

I'm sorry, buddy.We were just trying to help you.

And, also, it was really fun.

I don't need your help, okay? I can take care of myself.And, yeah, maybe maybe there are some girls who wouldn't like it that I called them right away or said things too soon, but guess what? Those aren't the right girls for me.Maybe the right girl is the one who loves that I do those things because that's just who I am, and I'm not gonna change because of some stupid Three Days Rule.Holly spells her name with an "I".

So I had proven that the Three Days Rule was wrong, and I was out to dinner with a pretty girl.And until right now, I've never told anyone the truth about what happened on that date.

That's so funny! I love indie music, too.We should get married.Just kidding.Or am I? Just kidding again.

That's it.We're totally going to Brazil together!

And I went to my doctor this morning, and he said it is all cleared up, so I'm good to go.

I think I'm in love with you.

In the end, I didn't need to wait three days, but Holly really, really did.Like a lot of rules, there are times to follow them and times to not.But I will tell you this.When I got your mother's number, I called her right away.

Stan.

Hey, fellas.

Aren't you working?

Took the night off.

That's great! We can all hang out!

Yeah.I can't.Got a date.You ready, baby?

What the?

Wait, wait.Couldn't you guys just stay here and do your date with us?

Yeah, it'll be fun! Look, I'm laughing! It's fun here! You like magic?

Fellas, it's time we said good-bye.I mean, we shared a very special afternoon together, and that's something I will always cherish.I'll never forget you guys.

Do you know their names?

No idea.Is the tall one Ted?

No.That's Marshall.He's married to Lily.

Okay.

You like chicken wings?

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