ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"You feel like the seventh wheel"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzA Change of Heart

Narator: Kids, the heart is a mysterious muscle. You never really know what's going on in there. So after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to get his heart checked. And so did I... and so did Lily... and so did Robin. And then Marshall went again, just to be sure. There was only one holdout.

holdout ‹Ś—Í‚ľ‚Č‚˘l

Barney: I don't need to go to a heart doctor. I drink every day, I sleep three hours every night, and I have multiple sex partners. I'm doing everything right.

Ted: Barney, come on, this is important. We need you around for a long time. Without you, we'd have to find some other sex-fueled, depraved animal to entertain us.

fuel ‚ ‚¨‚é depraved ‰ş—ň‚Č

Robin: Actually, I'm thinking about getting a dog again.

Lily: Oh, can she? Can she get a dog, please Ted?

Ted: No. If you get a dog, I'm going to be the one stuck taking care of it.

Robin: You wouldn't have to take care of it.

Ted: Really? And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life?

bring back to life ś‚Ť•Ô‚é

Robin: Yeah, that was made out of silk, Ted.

Marshall: Okay, Robin, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone, but I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man.

bury –„‚ß‚é

Robin: Here we go.

Marshall: You're clearly trying to fill a hole... in her heart. You feel like the seventh wheel, because now Ted is with Zoey and Barney's with Nora and Lily's with Big Fudge.

seventh wheel Š˝Œ}‚ł‚ę‚Č‚˘l

Barney: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge. "With"? I am not "with" Nora. Wrong preposition. Later tonight I'm hoping to be on Nora, right? Or under Nora, right? Or, we're all adults, I'll just say it... behind Nora.

preposition ‘O’uŽŒ

Robin: I don't know. This will be your second date.

Lily: Oh, Barney's got feeling for a girl.

Barney: Yeah. penis feelings. Because she's hot. Guys, as you know, I only have one rule...

Narator: Barney said this a lot. /p>

Barney: If you're gonna get it on in a Porta-Potty, do it early in the day.

Porta-Potty ƒ|[ƒ^ƒuƒ‹ƒgƒCƒŒ

Barney: I only have one rule. Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel. 'Cause she's got brothers

Barney: I only have one rule. Never date a girl with a hook for a hand

Barney: Never go out with the same girl more than once.

Lily: Then why are you going out with Nora again?

Barney: There is an exception.

Narator: And it was always the same exception. [FLASHBACK]

Barney:...unless she's hot. unless she's hot. unless she's hot.

Barney: And she is indeed hot. Which is why nothing, not even God himself... yeah, I said it, Beardy... is going to stand in the way of tonight being legend... Wait for it.

Barney: Hey, Nora, sorry I'm late. I'm just, uh, just getting over a cold.

Nora: Oh, no. How long have you been sick?

Barney: About 20 minutes. Can't seem to shake it.

Nora: Okay, 'cause I was going to say you look a little...

Barney: Handsome? Rich? Well-endowed?

well-endowed Ť“I”\—Í‚Ě‚ ‚é

Nora: Huh, let's say well-endowed... with phlegm. All right, let's go. It's bedtime.

well-endowed •‰‚í‚ł‚ę‚˝ phlegm á‚

Barney: The bed... that's where all the...happens.

Nora: Come on, let's get you sorted out.

sort out łí‚ȏó‘Ô‚É–ß‚é

Narator: That night, Barney didn't take care of business. Instead, Nora took care of Barney.

Barney: Ah. Thank you.

Nora: Good night, Barney.

Barney: Good night, Mommy.

Lily: Wow, she nursed you back to health?

Barney: No. I didn't even see her boobs. She just took care of me.

Robin: Oh, hey, guys. This is Nate. Nate, these are my friends.

Nate: What's up. guys? Nate Scooberman. But everyone calls me Scooby. I'd love to hang out, but I really gotta hit the john.

Ted: Uh, yeah, it's right in here... Scooby.

Nate: Thanks, brah. I like you guys.

Marshall: Oh, Robin, if you weren't so much stronger than me, I would slap you.

Robin: What? You told me to meet someone.

Marshall: I know, and, look, he seems plenty nice, but I didn't mean bring home the first guy you bump into on the street.

Robin: Actually, I met him in the park.

Ted: Should have just let you get a dog.

Barney: Oh, oh, I should go. Lily, can I talk to you for a second? So, um, I made an appointment with that cardiologist.

cardiologist S‘Ÿę–ĺˆă

Lily: Aw, and you want me to go with you 'cause you're a little scared?

Barney: No.

Lily: Do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared?

Barney: Yes!

Lily: Okay, fine. On one condition. You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora. She seems like something special.

Barney: Okay, I promise I won't lie to her. I may, however, lie on her. I said, bang-bang, bangity-bang.* Bang-bang-bang, bangity-bang *

Barney: Bang, bang, bangity bang...

The cardiologist: Are we done?

Barney: A bang-bang, bangity-bang.

The cardiologist: Well, Barney, your heart sounds fine.

Barney: See, Lily? She was worried.

The cardiologist: Although it seems like you might have a slight arrhythmia.

arrhythmia •sŽ–Ź

Lily: Ow! Nails, nails!

The cardiologist: It's probably nothing to worry about, but I'd like you to wear this heart monitor for the next 24 hours.

Barney: Twen... Flag on the play, Doc. I have a date tonight.

Flag on the play ęˆá‚˘‚ȁB

The cardiologist: Don't worry. It's totally safe. Unless part of your big date involves connecting yourself to a car battery.

Barney: Well, now it doesn't.

Narator: And exactly 24 hours later, they returned for the results.

The cardiologist: Okay, everything looks fine here, although I did notice a few irregularities. There's nothing to be...alarmed about.

Barney: Go on, Doctor.

The cardiologist: What happened at 8:46 p.m. last night?

Barney: Well, let's see... uh, Wheel of Fortune, naked push-ups, naked chin-ups... I was at dinner.

Wheel of Fortune ‰^–˝‚Ě—Ö

Nora: This might be a little forward, but do you have a bomb strapped to your chest?

Barney: This? No, no. It's a heart monitor. It's a medical thing.

Nora: Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.

Barney: What's that like?

Nora: So is everything okay?

Barney: My friend's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack. So I'm just getting myself checked out, too.

Nora: Oh, I am so sorry.

Barney: Thanks.

Nora: Um, Barney, what I'm about to say is going to sound a little weird, but I think I'm starting to like you, so I have to say it.

Barney: Well, for what it's worth, I'm not easily shocked. Unless you dump water on me, 'cause I'll just... No. What is it?

Nora: I want to get married. I mean, not tonight, or even to you, necessarily. But that's what I want. And if that's going to scare you off, then I'd rather it scare you off now. I want a family, and I want to live in a little house with a garden and a tree for the kids to climb. And I want to go to sleep every night with the same person by my side, and wake up next to him in the morning every morning for the rest of our lives. Just thought you should know that.

Lily: You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora!

Barney: That's exactly what I want, too.

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