ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I don't want to cause a scene"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzSorry, Bro

So she would come visit you at school and the second you turned your back she would bring guys back to your dorm room?

Respect.

Okay,I was an idiot.She was my first real girlfriend.I was madly in love with her.We all did stuff we regret in college.Junior year Marshall grew a soul patch, wore a rasta hat, and asked everyone to call him M.J.Smooth.

I don't regret that for one second.

So you guys absolutely don't think I should call her?

Ted,no.

Okay,okay,fine, I won't.Interesting piece of trivia: I called her.

You idiot!

What are you doing?

The pants story.

I can't believe you called her.Why don't you just ask her to lunch while you're at it?

Because,Lily, I'm not going to ask her out to lunch again.

You asked her to lunch?

Why would anyone want to have lunch with their ex?

Glad you asked,Marshall.There are four possible motives behind an "ex lunch." They want to get back together.

Oh,like my high school boyfriend Scooter.

Lilies,clever.I'm sorry I don't have a scooter for you.

My God,that's funny! Forgot how funny you are.

Where is that waiter?

Why? You like waiters? I can be a waiter.I'm going to be the greatest waiter on this earth, and then you'll love me.

Number two, They want to kill you.Like when I had lunch with Wendy.

I'm glad we could finally do this.

You know,after the ninth time you rescheduled on me, I almost gave up on you.

But you didn't.You just kept on trying.

By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.

Gun! She's got a gun!

It-it's a tie.

Number three. They actually do want to give you your stuff back.

Like when I had lunch with Curt.

By the way,there's something I've been meaning to give you.

My snub-nosed.38 police special! I knew I left that somewhere.Every time I watch the news, I'm like, "Oops,hope that wasn't my gun."

Breaking up was the right choice.

Or Number four, to rub your face in how great they're doing.

rub `‚đ‚Ţ‚Š‚‚Š‚š‚é

Like my lunch with Nicole Barsamian.

Who's Nicole Barsamian?

My ex.

Hello,Nicole.

You look well,Marshall.

You look okay,I guess.

I'm seeing someone.

Already? Who?

Lee Roberts.He reads at a fifth grade level.

You have to cancel the lunch.

I would definitely do that, definitely except I already had it.

Robin,I'm going to need to borrow the butt of your gun.

butt of a gun e°

I actually lost it again.Can you believe that?

How could break bread with that woman?

break bread HŽ–‚đ‚ˇ‚é

It was just lunch,and you know she doesn't eat wheat.We had a great time catching up.We even laughed about what jerks we were back then.

wheat Ź”ž

I can't believe I had a beret for each day of the week.

beret ƒxƒŒ[–X

I can't believe I had an iron-on image of Moliere on my backpack.

Man,we were pretentious.

pretentious ‚¤‚Ę‚Ú‚ę

So pretentious.

What can I get you?

Um, I don't want to cause a scene, but your wine list has a Chteauneuf-du-Pape listed under the "Ctes du Provence." You might want to alert your sommelier.

cause a scene ‘›“Ž‚đ‹N‚ą‚ˇ

And for you?

I hate to go off-menu, but can you bring us some bruschett with freshmozzarell? Grazie.

It was great.It was great.I mean,there was one weird moment towards the end.

Yeah,how do you say good-bye in those situations? A kiss on the cheek is too familiar.A handshake is too formal.

And a hug is just like a public dry hump.

I think you're hugging wrong.

So what happened?

Well Schopenhauer made a saucy little argument in which he posited

saucy ‹C‚Ě—˜‚˘‚˝ posit ’f’股‚é

Ted,honey,I want you to go outside and bite the curb.I'll be out in a minute.

Hey,Karen was the first girl I ever loved.Okay? And after the year I've had, I I don't know, I guess having lunch with her just reminded me of what it was like to be 18 and have my whole life figured out.And I would like to remind everyone that at least I was wearing pants,Marshall.

No! No,no,no! You can't just go changing the subject like that.

Oh,yeah,the pants story.

Pants story bomaye! Pants story bomaye!

There's no story! I had a little situation, so I called Lily.

And just refresh us; what was that situation?

I forgot my pants.

What do you mean you forgot your pants?

I forgot them.Now,I need you to bring me some.

What about your spare pants?

Last Thursday, the mustard incident.Jeez,woman,you have the memory of a goldfish.

No,Ted,you're not getting off that easy.Marshall's pants story, while amusing

Amusing? Try very amusing.

Is nothing compared to this Karen madness.Finish your story.

What? That's it.It was just one kiss in the restaurant.

Why did you say "in the restaurant?" Did you kiss somewhere else?

Like where,in a tree? No,Lily,we did not make out in a tree.What's with this one?

Oh,Ted.What did you do?

Ted,how could you?

Ted,Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today, and you're still the stupidest person at this table.

Okay,Lily,let's be honest.We both know your real motivation here.You hate Karen because she lingered.

linger ƒ_ƒ‰ƒ_ƒ‰‰ß‚˛‚ˇ

You son of a bitch.

What do you mean she lingered?

February 5,1998.I was painting

Oh,sorry.I Sorry.I You know,that color palette is a bit derivative of early Van Gogh, don't you think?

Cheat on Ted, criticize my painting, whatever,that's your business.But I catch you peeping on my man's junk and you linger? You gots to get got.

criticize ”ᔝ‚ˇ‚é

The game is the game.

In Karen's defense, I had just worked out.

Why'd you have to paint Marshall nude anyway?

Because he ate my bowl of fruit.Look,the point is, Karen is a dirty linger, and you cannot bring her back into our lives.

Relax,it was just that one night! And the next three after that.And one morning.But at least I had pants on,Marshall.Although,actually,I didn't.

Wait,this happened in our apartment? Where was I?

You know those sleeping pills you're taking to keep on your crazy new schedule? I think they're stronger than you realize.

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