ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Where do I begin?"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzLegendaddy

Narator: Kids, I bought the house we live in now way back before I ever met your mother. It needed a lot of work, but I had a vision for it.

Ted: Vintage rolltop desk here. I haven't decided whether to put the fern on the right or the left side, but you know, sometimes you just gotta wing it. Right? Left side. Oh, and right outside, I want to put up a basketball hoop for the kids.

fern ƒVƒ_ wing ‚Š‚č‚˝‚Ä‚é

Barney: Ted. This is your seduction lounge. sex swing there, vibrating Jell-O pit right there, rotating Vietnamese Shame Wheel right here. Don't ask; you're not ready. And that basketball hoop? Outdoor stripper pole. We'll just tell the ladies to be careful in the winter. You think a tongue stuck to a frozen pole is bad...

seduction —U˜f

Marshall: Hey. Barney, let's go outside for a second.

Lily: We have a confession. This wasn't really about seeing Ted's house. It's an intervention.

Barney: Oh, thank God. I'll go first. Ted, this house you bought for your hypothetical family is super weird. We talk about it all the time behind your back.

Ted: Yeah. This intervention isn't for me. It's for you

Narator: Why did Barney need an intervention? It all started a few nights earlier. A few nights earlier...

Marshall: Barney, I can't believe your giant TV is broken. It's March Madness.

Ted: Okay, uh, I think I see what the problem is. Barney, can you grab me a screwdriver?

Barney: Sure thing. Luis. Barney Stinson, 12 H. I got a hundred bucks if you can be here in five. Thanks.

Lily: You call the super for a screwdriver?

Barney: Yeah... here's the thing about me and tools... the only one I know how to use is attached to me, and I am not going to try putting it in the TV. Again.

Ted: Okay, that's ridiculous. Everyone should know how to use tools.

Barney: Well, here's our screwdriver now. Guys, I'm pretty sure that's not Luis, but I can't be certain. Someone introduce yourself.

Jerry: Barney, I... I got your letter.

Barney: Dad?

Marshall: I can't believe Barney is talking to his dad right now.

Robin: Yeah, what do you say after three decades of not seeing each other?

Lily: "So, how 'bout those last 30 Super Bowls"?

Ted: Okay, now I feel bad about making fun of him for the tool thing. My dad was the one who taught me all that stuff.

Robin: Well, to be fair, everyone has some glaring gap in knowledge, something really obvious you somehow never learned.

glaring –ž”’‚Č

Ted: Okay, but a screwdriver? Come on, I don't have any gaps that fundamental.

Robin: Really? I seem to recall...

Ted: Daniel Burnham was an architect whose ever-shifting style and aesthetic made him a true architectural chamma-leeon. And only the most gifted chamma-leeon could've designed classic beaux arts masterpieces right alongside sleek modern flatirons. His name might as well have been Daniel Chamma-leeon.

aesthetic ”üŠw

Student: Um, Professor? Uh, do you mean "chameleon"?

chameleon ‹C•Ş‚â

Ted: Betty, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "chamma-leeon," so... Class dismissed. No homework. For a while.

dismiss ‹p‰ş‚ˇ‚é

Ted: Okay, I learned that word by reading it. That's how I've always pronounced it.

Robin: Ted, that wasn't easy. It took a lot of "ch-aracter" to admit that.

Ted: Okay, Scherbatsky. You want to tussle? I'll tussle.

tussle Žć‚Á‘g‚ݍ‡‚˘‚đ‚ˇ‚é

Robin: You want to tussle? Let's tussle.

Ted: Marine biologist.

Robin: Please, no.

Scott: So this really sucks, but I'm going to be in the North Pole for the next three months.

Robin: Seriously? The North Pole? Okay, pal, if you want to break up with me, just tell it to me straight. Don't pretend you're going someplace we all know doesn't exist.

Scott: Um, I'm going to be studying the mating habits of...

mating habits Œđ”ö‚̏Cł

Robin: Of who? Santa's elves? Rudolph? You know what? I'm going on a trip, too, Scott. It, uh, starts in Narnia. It works its way up to Candyland, and then, hey, congratulate me, because I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Expelliarmus!

Scott: Robin, the North Pole is a real place. You know that, right?

Robin: So... you want to get pizza later? Or...

Scott: I think we should break up.

Robin: I still think about him in the shower.

Ted: Hey. Tell us everything. How'd it go, bud?

Barney: Where do I begin?

Where do I begin? ‚Ç‚ą‚Š‚ç‚Í‚ś‚߂悤‚ŠH

Jerry: So, I'm not sure how to start this.

Barney: Yeah. I think I need a drink.

Jerry: Me, too.

Both: Glen McKenna, neat.

neat Žđ‚ɐ…‚â•X‚đ“ü‚ę‚Č‚˘

Jerry: Nice order. Up top.

Up top ƒnƒCƒtƒ@ƒCƒu

Barney: Look, it's been 30 years. And now you just show up out of nowhere? This is... this is going to take me a minute.

Jerry: Yeah. I understand. By the way, hell of a tie. Is that Italian silk?

Barney: I love you, Daddy. I'm so glad we're best friends now. Make a muscle.

Jerry: There you go.

Barney: Ah!

Barney: Guys, my dad's awesome. He's the mother of all fathers. Check this out.

Barney: Hey, back when I was a kid, you used to be a roadie. Do you still do that?

Jerry: Not anymore. Back in '83 I'm lugging amps for The Stones through West Germany, and their tour manager loses his arms, bus-surfing through a tunnel.

lug ‰^‚Ô

Barney: Gnarly.

Gnarly ‚˘‚Š‚ˇ

Jerry: Long story short, I've been managing tours ever since, and that dude high-fives people with his face now.

Barney: You're funny. My dad's funny.

Barney: So, all these years, there's this one question I've been dying to ask him.

Lily: Why did you abandon me?

Marshall: Why'd you wait so long to contact me?

Robin: You've hurt me before, why should I trust you now?

Barney: Do you... get laid a lot?

Jerry: Big-time. Observe.

Barney: Oh, my God, that took you five seconds.

Jerry: Oh, was it that long? Life's too short for chatty chicks.

Barney: You're a master. You are legen... wait for it...

Barney:...daddy! Legendaddy! The man is a god. And he's still out there, living the dream.

Jerry: So I'm going to Sydney tomorrow with Bon Jovi. I'll be on the road the rest of the year.

Barney: Oh, that's cool.

Jerry: Say, you want to join me for the tour's Asian leg?

Barney: This is going to be the second-most fun I've ever had on an Asian leg.

Lily: Barney, we... we know you're psyched, but just... be careful.

Barney: What do you mean?

Ted: Well, this guy has flaked out on your whole life. It sounds like he just might be telling you what you want to hear.

Robin: Barney, we just don't want to see you get hurt.

Barney: First of all, Robin, my dad could beat up your dad. Second, you don't have to worry. He's cool. Now if you'll excuse me... I have to go renew my passport, and get a travel-sized rotating Vietnamese Shame Wheel. Don't ask; you're not ready.

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