Robin: So, you didn't fire him?
Ted: I can't fire a guy on his birthday. Everyone would hate me. Besides, they put a party hat on me. My authority was compromised.
authority 権威 compromise 妥協する 傷つける
Barney: Oh, hey, Marshall. Have a seat. I know how much you love stools.
stool スツール 背もたれと肘掛けのない簡単な椅子
Marshall: Thanks. Yeah, stools are better for your posture.
Robin: And, uh... I... got you a rose.
Marshall: Thank you. That's so sweet. You guys are being... so sweet.
Barney: Hey, guys. Guess what I got. A new dart.
Robin: Oh, wow, a new dart.
Ted: Hey, that new dart is great.
Robin: I did not know you were such a fan of new dart, Barney.
Barney: Oh, yes, Robin, I just love new dart. Nude art.
Ted: Nude art.
Robin: Nude art.
Marshall: Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh?
Lily: I knew this day would come.
Marshall: How did you know that?
Lily: Because I didn't hide it very well.
Narator: So the story on the painting is that,back in college, Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class. Marshall wasn't so into the idea.
Marshall: Well, I just... don't think that some dude should drop trou just to pose for you.
Lily: It's for class, and it's just that weird kid Hunter from my freshman hall.
Marshall: The frisbee dude with the soul patch? He's like the hottest guy in school!
soul patch 顎の上の顔ひげの小さいパッチ
Lily: No, he's actually a little husky...
Marshall: Oh, he's just huggable! And complicated... and a little bit of a jerk. Just enough so you think maybe you can change him.
Lily: Okay, just forget it.
Marshall: Call me old-fashioned, I just think that I'm the only guy you should see naked.
Lily: Well, then you'll have to do it.
Marshall: Are you kidding me? What if somebody sees it?
Lily: We're not in high school anymore. People don't make fun of you for posing nude for a painting. We're adults now.
Barney: We totally saw your butt.
Marshall: This painting has caused too much grief already. I'm destroying it right now.
Barney: Oh, no, what's the matter, Marshall?
Marshall: Where is it?
Barney: I'll tell you where it is if you'll answer these riddles three.
Marshall: You hung it up in the bar, didn't you?
Barney: Yo, why you gotta ruin my riddles?
Ted: Field trip!
Field trip 社会見学、遠足
Barney: Oh, no. Someone put your painting up behind the bar. Classic! What a memorable prank.
Carl: Hey, Marshall. What'll you have?
Marshall: What'll I have? Um, I don't know, maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
Carl: Ooh, I'm sorry, that painting's property of the bar.
Marshall: I know that Barney gave you that painting.
Carl: I don't know what you're talking about.
Marshall: Whatever he's paying you, I'll pay you double.
Carl: I doubt it.
I doubt it そうかな〜？
Marshall: Whatever he's paying you, I'll give you that plus ten bucks.
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: All right, you know what, Carl, you just lost yourself a regular customer.
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: This painting is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Robin: Okay, where should we put it up next? In his law school? Ooh on the side of a bus. Oh, oh! How much do billboards cost?
Barney: Easy, Scherbatsky. Finesse. I've got a five-year rollout plan. I'll have you know that painting's got commitments all over the city. Then, after New York... Marshall runs to the painting, takes it and goes out yelling.
Finesse 策略 rollout 初公開
Ted: One of my worst fears has come true-- I just saw Marshall grabbing himself naked. Well, I gotta go. Believe it or not, I have to go back to the office.
Robin: Oh, I'll go out with you. Bye, guys.
Lily: You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun of that painting.
Barney: Eh, we're not making fun of the painting, we're just making fun of Marshall. The painting's actually really great.
Lily: Are you serious?
Lily: Well, thank you. You know, seeing it again makes me miss painting nudes. What?
Barney: Paint me.
Barney: Paint me.
Voice: Who's that? Who's out there?
Ted: Hammond, is that you?
Narator: Druthers and I were alone in the office. If I was gonna fire him, this would be the best chance I'd ever have.
Mr.Druters: Uh, look, just a second, Ted.
Ted: Uh, no, I, I really need to talk to you. Look, there's no easy way to say... What, what are you doing?
Druthers: What are you doing?
Ted: I'm standing here wearing pants. Are you sleeping here? What's going on?
Mr.Druthers: Okay, fine, yes. Not that it's any of your business but my wife had a little spat a few weeks ago, and I've been sleeping here until she cools off.
Ted: Okay, well, uh, you're right-- that is none of my business. Uh, look, there's no easy way to say this-- I...
Mr.Druthers: Who am I kidding? She's never gonna take me back.
Ted: It's okay.
Mr.Druthers: What did you want to say to me?
Ted: Happy birthday, buddy. So, you've been living at the office?
Mr.Druthers: Yes. I'm an architect without a home. You see the tragic irony in that?
tragic 悲惨な irony 皮肉
Ted: Yeah, I do.
Mr.Druthers: Cause I design homes.
Ted: I see it.
Mr.Druthers: But I don't have a home.
Ted: Not lost on me at all. But I don't understand, why don't you just go to a hotel? You could be sleeping on a mattress instead of... what appears to be torn-up drawings of my building.
Mr.Druthers: Why would I go to a hotel, when any second, she's going to call and tell me to come home. She's a very special lady, Ted. She's quite... mannish. She gives me what I need. Do you understand that?
Ted: Uh, no, I don't.
Mr.Druthers: If you were lost in the wilderness, she can provide for me.
Ted: Well, that's the dream.
Mr.Druthers: I'm glad you came here tonight, Ted.
Ted: Me too, Hammond.
Mr.Druthers: Call me Ham.
Ted: No, thanks.
Mr.Druthers: Hammy D?
Ted: No, I think just Hammond.
Robin: So, I'm guessing you didn't fire him.
Ted: I was this close.