ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"This job was a new start, a clean slate."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBad News

Narator: Kids, when Lily and Marshall started trying to have a baby, they went a little crazy.

Lily: We've been trying and trying, and still nothing's happened. I'm just worried we can't have children.

Doctor: And how long have you been trying?

Lily: Six days.

Narator: But then, months went by, and still nothing happened.

Lily: Something must be wrong. W... we're doing it a lot.

Marshall: And everywhere... the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your wait... the kitchen.

Lily: Seriously, Doc, why isn't this happening?

Doctor: Look, if you're really worried, here is a number for a reproductive endocrinologist... Dr. Stangel. He's the best in the city.

reproductive endocrinologist •s”DŽĄ—Ă

Marshall: Dr. John Stangel? I don't know, baby, do we really need a specialist?

Lily: Well, what's your plan, Marshall, just have unprotected sex day after day after day in every position imaginable until...? Wait, it sounded worse in my head.

Barney: Guys, we've got a problem. This is the application for the regional doubles laser tag tournament in Poughkeepsie. Problem is, only one of you can be my partner. So it looks like we've got a bake-off. You may now present your arguments.

Marshall: I'm not playing laser tag.

Ted: I'm absolutely not playing laser tag.

Marshall: Damn it.

Barney: And Marshall's the winner.

Lily: Well, I'm gonna call Dr. Stangel. It can't hurt.

It can't hurt to `‚ľ‚Ä‚ŕ–â‘č‚͉˝‚ŕ‹N‚ą‚ç‚Č‚˘

Narator: So Aunt Lily went to see Dr. John Stangel, the man who knew more about human reproduction than anyone in New York City.

Stangel: So I understand you want to get pregnant.

Barney: Yeah, and it cuts in and out.

Lily: Ooh! How did you do it?

Barney: Oh, God, you found one of the cameras. I swear that's the only one. Wait, which one did you find?

Lily: What are you talking about?

Barney: What are you talking about?

Lily: My visit to a certain Dr. Stangel.

Strangel: We'll look at all the factors that contribute to fertility: dietary, environmental, genetic. But first, Ms. Aldrin, do you have any questions for me?

contribute Œ´ˆö‚Ěˆę‚‚ɂȂé fertility Žó¸ dietary HŽ–—Ę

Lily: Just one, "Dr. Stangel". Where'd you get the beard?

Strangel: Well, m... my mother's Armenian.

Marshall: Lily, I've been with Barney since 9:00 a.m. Between the sexual harassment seminar all morning and the secretary beauty pageant all afternoon, he hasn't left my sight.

Lily: Wait, so you weren't wearing a fake beard and examining girl parts all day?

Barney: Not today I wasn't.

Ted: Wow, we finally found Barney's doppelganger. I guess we can tell you now, Lily. That hot dog guy did not look like Barney.

Lily: Uh, Marshall?

Marshall: Yes, I know, we made our little deal with the universe, but...

Lily: No, we've made a binding covenant with the universe. We said we weren't going to try to have kids until we saw Barney's doppelganger. Oh, this is bad news. This is like a black cat walked through my uterus. Okay, that's it. I am going back to Dr. Stangel and getting thoroughly checked out.

binding covenant S‘Š—Í‚Ě‚ ‚éŒ_–ń thoroughly [•Ş‚É

Barney: Or... or cost-saving alternative: you could get checked out by someone who looks just like him. I'm gonna go scrub up. I'll meet you in stall three.

scrub up “O’ę“I‚ɐô‚¤

Lily: I still kind of think it's Barney.

Marshall: There's no way it's Barney.

Stangel: Hello, you must be Mr. Eriksen. I am Dr. Stangel.

Marshall: It's Barney. Wow. Really, dude, bravo. You almost got a peek. But seriously, what second-rate community theater did you get...?

get a peek ‚ż‚ç‚Á‚ĆŒŠ‚é

Stangel: Would you...? I...

Marshall: So my wife and I are trying to get pregnant.

Stangel: All right, Ms. Aldrin, please just put your feet up in the stirrups. We can begin.

Lily: Uh-uh, no. Can't do it.

Marshall: No, but, baby, I yanked on his beard.

yank ƒOƒC‚Á‚Ćˆř‚Á’Ł‚é

Stangel: He checks out. I really don't have time for this.

Marshall: No, Barney... Doctor, wait, please, it's... Can you just give us a couple minutes? I... Lily, how can I convince you that this is not Barney?

Barney: Wow, it is like looking into a poorly dressed mirror.

Stangel: Okay, you have to go. Leave the model of the vagina.

Lily: Okay. Convinced.

Stangel: Great. All right, you're a little low on the table. Please scoot up.

scoot up ‹}‚Ž

Lily: "Suit up"... not convinced. This whole thing stinks to high heaven.

stink ‹^‚í‚ľ‚˘

Marshall: Baby, you just saw Barney.

Lily: He could have pulled some crazy switch. Remember when his Swedish cousin came to visit?

Marshall: Oh, yeah... Bjorney.

Lily: Yeah, I'm sorry, but unless I see Barney at the same time, I... I'll never be sure that Dr. Stangel isn't him.

Barney: How you doing, Lily?! Should I have a boner?!

have a boner –u‹N‚ˇ‚é

Strangel: Okay, we're all done. I'll call you in a few days with the results.

Lily: Thank you.

Barney: Hey, you don't mind if I take pictures, do you?!

Lily: Can we leave him in here for a while?

Strangel: I'm done for the day. You can leave him in here all night.

Barney: Aw, yeah. Smile for the birdie, Lil! Gyno-mite!

Narator: Now, while all this was going on, your Aunt Robin was starting her new job at World Wide News, aka the big leagues. She was excited. This job was a new start, a clean slate.

clean slate ”’Ž†‚̏ó‘Ô

Ted: So, first day of work?

Woman: Everyone, say hello to your new research associate Robin Scherbatsky.

Robin: Hi, guys.

Woman: Oh, here comes our new Hardfire host. Robin, this is Sandy Rivers.

Ted: Sandy Rivers?!

Narator: Sandy Rivers... Robin's old co-host and my old nemesis.

Sandy: We should have sex.

Ted: Oh, I hate that guy.

Robin: It gets worse.

Woman: Sandy, this is...

Sandy: Robin.

Woman: You two know each other?

Sandy: Know each other? We've had sex.

Ted: You had sex with Sandy Rivers?

Robin: No! Ugh! And I can't believe it's my first day, and already I'm the girl who slept with the host of the show.

Ted: Already? Were you planning on eventually sleeping with the host?

Robin: Well, now that I know it's Sandy, I'm not.

Marshall: Hey, babe.

Lily: Hi, honey. There's a couple messages on the machine. Your dad called. He wants to know if you have any sixes.

Marshall: Yeah, uh, we got a game of "Go Fish" going on the phone. P.S., Pops, go fish. Who's the second message from?

Lily: Dr. Stangel's office. I'm extremely fertile.

fertile ”ɐB—Í‚Ě‚ ‚é

Marshall: You're extremely fertile! Oh, my God. I told you there was nothing to worry about. I got to call my dad and tell him the good news. If you're fertile, um, then that means I'm the problem.

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