Narrator: Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.
Son: Are we being punished for something?
punish （人）を懲らしめる 何か怒られてるんだっけ？ なんかの罰ゲーム? みたいな感じかな？
Daughter: Yeah, is this gonna take a while?
take a while 時間がかかる
Narrator: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was dad, I had this whole other life.
whole other life まったく違う人生
Narrator: It was way back in 2005. I was twenty-seven just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with my friend Marshall, my best friend from college. My life was good and then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.
It was way back in 〜まで遡る architect 建築家 screw up 台無しにする the whole thing すべて マーシャルおじさんは、いつもなんかやらかしてたって感じかな？
Marshall: Will you marry me.
Ted: Yes, perfect! And then you're engaged, you pop the champagne! You drink a toast! You have sex on the kitchen floor... Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.
pop the chanpagne ポンとシャンペンをあける drink a toast 乾杯する
Marshall: Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
plan out 計画を練る
Ted: Dude, are you kidding? It's you and Lily! I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lily. The night you met. Your first date... other first things.
Marshall: yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.
Ted: It's physics Marshall, if the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too. My god, you're getting engaged tonight.
Marshall: Yeah, what are you doing tonight?
Narrator: What was I doing? Your Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life, and me I'm calling up your Uncle, Barney.
Barney: hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half Asian girls? Well, now I've got a new favorite Lebanese girls! Lebanese girls are the new half Asians.
you know how 〜だろ。 have a thing for 〜が大好きだ
Ted: Hey, you wanna do something tonight?
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in fifteen minutes, and Suit up!
Barney: Where's your suit!? Just once when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit.
スーツは？一度でいいから、suit upと言ったら、スーツ着てくれよ。 put on 着る
Ted: I did that one time.
Barney: It was a blazer!
Ted: You know, ever since college it's been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it's going to be Marshall and Lily... and me. They'll get married, start a family before long I'm the weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call "Uncle Ted".
before long まもなく weird 変わった bachelor 独身男性
Barney: I see what this is about. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?
I see what this is about 言いたいことはわかった。Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met? 俺らが出会った時に俺が言ったことを忘れたようだな。
Barney: Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live. Barney, we met at the urinal.
Ted: Oh, right. Hi.
Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee. It doesn't look good with your suit.
goatee 顎ひげ(ヤギひげ) スーツには似合わない
Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool. Exhibit A. Lesson three, don't even think about getting married till you're... thirty.
Ted: Thirty, right. You're right. I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged you start thinking about that stuff.
Barney: I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I'm your best friend.
Ted: You're my best friend, Barney.
Barney: Good! And as your best friend, I suggest we play a little game called... "Have you met Ted?"
as your best friend 親友として
Ted: Wai-no, no, no. We're not playing "Have You Met Ted?"
Barney: Hi, have you met Ted? .
Ted: Hi, I'm Ted.
Ted: It's a very pretty name.
Yasmine: Thanks, It's Lebanese.
Lily: Urgh. I'm exhausted. It was finger painting day at school, and a five year old boy got to second base with me. Wow, you're cooking?
Marshall: Yes, I am.
Lily: Aww- Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.
前回あんなことになったのに大丈夫か？ creepy 気味悪い eyebrows 眉
Marshall: I can handle this. I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.
handle 巧みに扱う I'm full of surprises. サプライズを用意してるってことだと思うけど、I'm から始まるのが違和感
Lily: So there's more surprises? Like what?
Narrator: Marshall was in his second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
think on one's feet迅速な決断
Marshall: BOOGITY BOO! And that's all of them! I'm goanna go... cook.
Ted: I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am. I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
settle down 落ち着く
Yasmine: So do you think you'll ever get married?
Ted: Well maybe eventually. Some fall day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we'll write our own vows. But eh no DJ, people will dance. I'm not gonna worry about it! Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged? Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?
eventually 最終的には fall 秋 Possibly できれば write our own vows 誓いを立てる 結婚式を想像して熱く語る男なんていないよな〜って感じかな？
Yasmine: Actually, I think it's cute.
Ted: Well, you're clearly drunk. ONE MORE FOR THE LADY!
you're clearly drunk グラスが空いてるね？ってことかな。
Marshall: Okay, look what I got
"look what I got" これ買ったんだ、見て！
Lily: Aw honey. Champagne!
Lily: No, you are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne!
Marshall: I'm not scared.
Lily: Then open it!
Marshall: Fine. Please open it
Lily: You are unbelievable, Marshall. No-
Narrator: There are two big questions a man has to ask in life. One you plan out for months, the other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.
イマイチわからないけど、男が人生において答えなければいけない2つの局面がある。一つは、何か月も計画してきた局面で、もう一つは、とあるバーでほろ酔いの時に口を滑らす局面です。って感じかな？ slip out 口を滑らす
Marshall: will you marry me?
Ted: You wanna go out sometime?
go out デートする
Lily: Of course, you idiot!
Yasmine: I'm sorry. Carl's my boyfriend.
Ted: What's up, Carl?
Marshall: I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.
Lily: Did you know there's a pop tart under your fridge?
pop tarts ポップターツ fridge=refrigeratorの短縮語
Marshall: No, but dibs. Where's that champagne? I wanna drink a toast with my fiance.
Marshall: I don't know why I was so scared of this. Pretty easy right?
Ted: Why am I freaking out all of a sudden? This is crazy! I'm not ready to settle down.
freak out 訳の分からないことを言う
Barney: how does Carl land a Lebanese girl?
Ted: The plan's always been "don't even think about it untill you're thirty"
Barney: Exactly. the guy doesn't even own a suit!
Ted: Plus Marshall's found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I'm not, but if I was it's like, "Okay, I'm ready! Where is she?"
Even if I was ready, which I'm not 準備できてようができてまいが
Narrator: and there she was.
Narrator: It was like something from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "see that girl? I'm going to marry her someday"
Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?
Barney: Oh, yeah, You just know she likes it dirty. Go say hi.
Ted: I can't just go say hi. I need a plan. I'm gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom. Then I'll strategiclly place my self by the jukebox so that.
Barney: Hey, have you met Ted?
Robin: Let me guess, Ted?