Narator: Kids, in life there are a lot of big romantic moments, and they make life worth living. But here's the problem, moments pass, and lurking just around the corner from those moments is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality.
moments pass 時が過ぎる lurking 胸の奥に秘めた cruel 無慈悲な、非情な unshaven ひげを剃っていない
Narator: And so, back in 2006, on the night of Claudia and Stuart's wedding, reality was the enemy.
Tanya: Wow, the Peace Corps?
the Peace Corps ケネディ大統領により創設された。教育や農業などの分野での発展途上国援助を目的とする米国の長期ボランティア派遣プログラム
Barney: Yeah, I ship out tomorrow for two years. You know, some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing a person can do. To those people, I say, "Is it?" And usually they say, "yes it is."
ship out 船で外国へ行く noble 貴族、貴族階級の人
Tanya: Barney, they are so right. I wish there was something I could do.
Barney: Oh, Tanya, I'm so glad you said that.
Narator: This wasn't how I thought the night would turn out.
Narator: This was finally supposed to be my big moment with Robin. But then reality came along.
come along 現実になる うまくいく、よくなる
Narator: Robin got called up last minute to anchor the 11 o'clock news. It was her big break.
big break 大きなチャンス
Narator: And I went to the wedding stag. Then, when I least expected it...
Lily: Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?
Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it, that cake, best cake I ever had. Seriously. My stomach was like, hey bro, I don't know what you're eating 'cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down gullet alley.
gullet 食道 alley 小道
Lily: Yeah, I know. My stomach was like, girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake...
get along 付き合う
Marshall: Say what?
Lily: Oh right. Most amazing night ever, and go.
Victoria: I should tell you, I have a rule. I never hook up at weddings.
hook up 付き合うようになる
Ted: I'm guessing you haven't always had this rule.
Victoria: Well, here's the thing. Those big romantic moments, they're great when they happen, but they're not real.
here's the thing 重要なのは次の事です
Ted: Exactly. Exactly, like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there, I'm not gonna lie to you, big time thunderbolt.
Victoria: You should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.
down on one's knees ひざまずく
Ted: Sadly not out of character. But I know now it's just a mirage.
Sadly 悲しむべきことに、不幸にも mirage 幻想
Victoria: Wedding goggles.
beer goggles ビールに酔っぱらうと、どんな女性も美人に見えること
Ted: Exactly. And that, in a nutshell, is why I'm not putting the moves on you.
nutshell 簡潔に述べる put the moves on 口説く
Victoria: This isn't the moves?
Ted: What, you think this is the moves? Believe me, you'd know the moves. People ten tables away would know the moves.
Victoria: That's too bad.
Ted: Tell me about it.
Victoria: You know, I think I have a solution.
Victoria: And, to preface this, we're not going to sleep together tonight.
Ted: Less interested.
Ted: Go ahead.
Victoria: OK. So the thing that always screws it up is the next day, right? So, why don't we just cut that part out.
Ted: What are you saying?
Victoria: I'm saying, I'm here, you're here, and this is a big, romantic wedding. Why don't we just dance and have a great time and then when it's over, never see each other again.
Victoria: No, no unless. No emails, no phone numbers, not even names. Tonight we will make a memory that will never be tarnished. And then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this night and it'll be perfect.
Ted: Wow. OK, I'm in.
Ted: I guess, what, we'll need fake names?
Victoria: Um, you can call me Buttercup.
Ted: Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm Lando Calrissian.
Ted: Wow, this is kind of exciting. Our names will forever be shrouded...
Barney: Ted, Ted, Ted, look, I got a bridesmaid, Ted, look, look, Ted, the second hottest bridesmaid, Ted, look. See ya Ted.
Ted: So, I'm Ted.
Victoria: Victoria. But no last names.
Ted: No last names.
Lily: Oh, what is wrong with you?
Marshall: Dude, that is just like... a weenie ass idea.
Ted: No, it was awesome. I had a great night, I'm never gonna see her again, and there's no way to ruin it.
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you? Last night I had the best cake of my life. You think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and then I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you, huh?
Marshall: It haunts me.
Lily: So, what happened next?
Victoria: OK, ground rules have been established.
Victoria: Now let's see some of these moves I've heard so much about.
I’ve heard so much about you! おうわさはかねがね！
Victoria: Wait wait wait wait wait.
Victoria: Let's do all the single ladies in this joint a big favor and steal the bouquet.
Ted: Yes, but we'll need a diversion.
diversion 陽動 気分転換
Ted: Go. Go, go, go
Lily: So, that's what happened to the bouquet. You know, good for Victoria. It's such an evil tradition.
evil 悪事、不正な tradition 伝統、しきたり
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and scream, crawl for it, bitches. It's just what girls do.
flower grenade 花手榴弾
Marshall: So, where did you guys go?
Ted: Very nice.
Victoria: OK, I don't really know how to tap-dance.
Ted: I couldn't really tell.
I couldn't tell you. 知らないから言いたくても言えない。
Ted: Well, it's too bad you're not gonna get some tonight.
Victoria: Oh, if I wanted some, I could get some.
Ted: No you couldn't.
Victoria: You're a dude. I could totally...
Ted: Totally get some.
Victoria: We're not gonna kiss tonight.
Victoria: If we kiss, all of this becomes real. You, you might use too much tongue, or not use enough and then suddenly, poof, spell's broken.
Ted: I will use exactly the right amount of tongue.
right amount of 適量の
Victoria: OK, how about this? The best part of any first-kiss is the lead-up to it, the moment right before the lips touch. It's like a big drumroll. So, how about, tonight, we just stick with the drumroll.
lead-up to 〜という結果に至る
Victoria: But we can't kiss.
Marshall: A drumroll? That's it. So, what, you just said good-night, came home, and performed a drum solo?
Lily: Oh, Ted, you're such a doof. I mean, this girl sounds amazing.
Ted: She was completely amazing. She was amazing and funny and we connected on every level. And, I'm never gonna see her again.
Ted: Dammit, I have to see her again. Lily,
Marshall: So, let's get to work, man. What else do you know about her?
Ted: Nothing. Her name's Victoria, that's all I got. Wait, Claudia, Claudia would know.
Lily: Well, Claudia's on her honeymoon. She'll be back in two weeks. Call her then.
Ted: Yes, two weeks, good idea. I'm calling her now.
Lily: No, Ted, you don't mess with a honeymoon.
mess 混乱させる、干渉する 〜を駄目にする
Marshall: Yeah, come on, dude. Ask her about the cake.