Narrator: Now kids, the spring of 2008 was a complicated time in your old man's life. The last time I had seen Barney was shortly after I found out he has spent the night with Robin.
Barney: Are you saying you don't wanna be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't wanna be friends anymore.
Ted: It's Barney. Dude, seriously you need to stop calling me.
Barney: Ted, I'm sorry, I haven't returned your calls.
Ted: Yeah I never called you, you called me fifteen times and my parents twice.
Barney: I'm sorry, I gotta let you go. It's just too many good wingmen out there. Ted are you crying?
Ted: No I'm not.
Barney: Sh! Let it out, let it out.
Let it out 気持ちをぶちまける
Ted: Goodbye Barney.
Lily: So are you two back together?
Marshall: I miss Barney. I haven't "high five" with anyone like a week. I think I might be starting to lose my fist bone careless.
Robin: Let me ask you something Ted. Why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah! She had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her.
Robin: You know what? I'm not sure that's true. I think I actually prefered if you are mad at me. This is too weird.
Ted: I'm not mad at anybody. I've forgiven you. And I've outgrown Barney as a friend. It's that's simple.
Lily: I will tell you why he is not mad. Because he is so happy with Stella.
Narrator: She was right. Stella and I had been dating for two months. And things were going really well. She had mat my friend in past for flying colors. There was just one little problem.
Lily: You guys haven't had sex yet!!?? When Marshall and I were two months, we were doing it 24/7.
Ted: I know, I was in the top bunk. Also sat next to you at football games.
Lily: So what you guys waiting for?
Ted: I think she wants to make sure we are serious first, that's why she hasn't introduced me to her daughter either. She wants to take things slow.
Marshall: Wait, so you haven't had sex since like Thanksgiving. Do you know how many big federal holidays have come and gone since then.
Lily: Oh baby, do you remember Martin Luther King day?
Marshall: Yeah, I do. We honored that dude big time.
Ted: Look, I'm crazy about this girl, if waiting is what it takes, then I'm fine with that. And totally unrelated note. Does anybody have gum or ice or a piece of bark that you are not chewing?
on an unrelated note 全く別の話だけど bark 木の皮
Randy: Hey Barney, new sky mall come in. So world around blogsphere is you are looking for a new wingman. I wanna let you know, I'm available. Just the say the word, or don't even say the word. Just do something with your eyebrow. Was that it?
Barney: No offence Randy, but there is a long list of candidats for this slot. This slot is for vice president of awesome. And you are like assistant under secretary of only ok.
candidate 候補者 vice president 副大統領
Randy: Assistant under secretary of only ok. Thank you, I will not let you down.
Narrator: So uncle Barney began to search for a new wingman.
Barney: Pitt, Barney Stinson!
Pitt: Hey! I haven't been calling you, it has been a while.
Barney: Yeah. Yeah. So, listen you should meet me in McLaren's tonight.
Pitt: You never gonna believe this. I'm at the hospital. Just had a baby daughter.
Barney: So what do you think? 9:30 or 10 o'clock?
Barney: Starry Porten, Barney Stinson.
Starry: What up, chef?
Barney: I need a new bro, what do you say?
Starry: Dude, I'do love to but now I'm bro with Duck Stan.
Barney: Oh, I understand. Duck Stan is a good bro. I'm happy for you. Best of luck.
Barney: Crazy Willie! Barney Stinson.
Willie: What up B dog, long time no bro, so are we gonna tear it up tonight or what?
tear up をやっつける
Barney: Yes finally!
Willie: Here is what on the rocket docket. My wife is gonna put the cheese out at seven, Cranium at 8:00 PM, 9 PM we watch 27 Dresses, everybody's home by 11:00. Booya!
rocket docket スピード審理
Barney: Hanging up on you once wasn't enough.
Stella: So I lanced this thing on this guy's back, and I'll be honest with you, I didn't even know what it was, and then it exploded like a volcano. Plus everywhere.
Ted: Let's have sex. Right now, I'll lock the door.
Stella: Oh, there is no lock on that door.
Ted: We can do it against the door. It'll be hot! It'll be like a three-way: you, me and the door.
Stella: Yeah, but then it's just gonna be weird between me and the door tomorrow.
Ted: I'm sorry. We're waiting. It's cool.
Stella: You've been so patient Ted. The truth is... I'm kind of nervous. I have a confession to make.
Ted: I was afraid of this. You're 14.
Stella: No, um... it's kind of embarrassing, but it's been a while since I was intimate with anyone.
Ted: Wow. It's funny that you say that. Me too.
Stella: Really? How long it's been for you?
Ted: It's been a while.
Stella: Tell me.
Stella: Me too!
Ted: It's been five months for you too?
All: Five years!!??
Marshall: Wow. Stella hasn't had sex since 2003. Let's just put this in context. The last time Stella had sex, the movie, Seabiscuit, had just galloped into the theaters... and our hearts.
put in context の中でとらえる gallop 全速力で走る
Lily: Five years! God, if I even went one year, I would be out on the street selling it for a nickel.
Marshall: The last time Stella had sex, the world was just learning about SARS.
Robin: Well, Ted, what else did she said? Did she gave you any kind of explanation?
Stella: Look, after Lucy was born, I dated a little, but it was hard to find a guy I could trust enough. Sooner or later, every one of them gave me a reason not to.
Ted: But nobody in five years?
Stella: Look, Ted, guys regret the girls they didn't sleep with. Girls regret the guys they do sleep with. And for the past five years, I've had no regrets. Ted, you're staring at my boobs.
Ted: In my defense, they were staring at me.
Lily: So what does this mean for you? Is she ever wanna want to get intimate?
Stella: But the truth is, I really do want to do this with you. I don't think I'd regret it at all.
Ted: Your pillow talk's a little rusty.
Stella: You know what I mean Ted, I'm ready.
Ted: That's great. Like "right now" ready?
Ted: So, her sister's driving up to baby-sit Lucy, and we're getting a hotel room in the city Saturday night.
Marshall: The last time Stella had sex, The Da Vinci Code had just come out.
Robin: Well that's doesn't seem like that long ago.
Marshall: Not the movie, the book.
Ted: It's a lot of pressure, isn't it?
Lily: You know what? It's not. This woman needs it bad. Anything you do is going to be fireworks. I remember my longest drought.
Lily: It was that summer I lived in San Francisco. I hadn't had been with Marshall in two months and 19 days.
Lily: Oh, San Francisco!