ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"On the house"

@

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ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“1yŒ´‘čzThe Pineapple Incident

Narater: Now I remember a lot of stories from back in the days before I met your mother, but there's one story I don't remember. Uncle Marshall still refers to it as the pineapple incident. The night started like any other. We were downstairs at the bar.

refer to ` as `‚đc‚ĆŒÄ‚Ô

Carl: On the house.

On the house “X‚Ě‚¨‚˛‚č‚ŁA“X‚Š‚ç‚Ě–ł—ż’ń‹Ÿ‚Ĺ

Everyone: Whoa.

Carl: It's my own concoction. I call it the Red Dragon.

concoction Ź‚ş‡‚í‚š‚čě‚Á‚˝ˆůH•¨

Everyone: Wow. Thanks, Carl.

Ted: We're not really doing shots, are we?

do a shot of `‚ĚƒVƒ‡ƒbƒg‚đˆů‚Ţ doing shots ƒVƒ‡ƒbƒg‚Ě‚Ý

Lily: I hope not.

Barney: No, no.

Lily: These look kinda like blood.

Marshall: OK, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?

dismiss ‹p‰ş‚ˇ‚éAŠü‹p‚ˇ‚éA‚͂˂‚Ż‚é

Barney: That's ridiculous.

ridiculous ‚΂Š‚°‚˝A‚¨‚Š‚ľ‚ȁAŠŠŒm‚Č ˜b‚É‚Č‚ç‚Č‚˘

Marshall: I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.

Robin: Oh my God, that does describe a vampire, or you know, a bartender.

Robin: Well, I should go get dressed.

go get dressed ’…‘Ö‚Ś‚é

Ted: Where are you going, buddy? Hot date?

Lily: I'll say, she's going out with a billionaire.

billionaire ‰­–œ’ˇŽŇ

Robin: Lily, I told you not to call him that.

Ted: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?

Robin: He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?

round up `‚Ě’[”‚đŘ‚čă‚°‚é

Ted: So, uh, where's Thurston Howell taking you?

Thurston Howell ƒT[ƒXƒgƒ“Eƒn[ƒEƒFƒ‹

Robin: A charity dinner.

Lily: Yeah, $2000 a plate.

Robin: $1500, Stop rounding up. And it's for third world hunger.

Barney: You gonna put out?

put out “ŠŽ‘‚ˇ‚é

Barney: What? There's only one reason he's taking her to this dinner and it's not so little Mutu can get his malaria pills.

malaria pills ƒ}ƒ‰ƒŠƒAůÜ

Lily: I think my soul just threw up a little bit.

Robin: Well, I'm gonna be late. You guys have fun. Bye.

Ted: See ya.

Lily: Bye.

Marshall: You OK?

Ted: Sure, why?

Marshall: I don't know. Girl of your dreams dating a billionaire.

Ted: OK, first of all, hundred millionaire. And second, she's not the girl of my dreams. We're just friend. Look, it would not be smart if we got together. I mean, I'm looking to settle down. She's looking for...

get together k’j—‚ށlŒ‹‚΂ę‚é

Barney: What? You done? Great. Check out table number four. See that little hottie on the end. She's short but has an ample bosom. I love it. She's like half-boob. Let's go.

ample k‘Ě‚Şl‘ĺ‚Ť‚˘ bosom ‹šA‹š•”A‚¨‚Á‚Ď‚˘ boob ‚¨‚Á‚Ď‚˘

Ted: Yeah, and say what? What's our big opening line?

Barney: Daddy's home.

Ted: Daddy's home?

Barney: Yeah.

Ted: You want us to go over there right now and say to those girls, 'daddy's home.' Really think about that, Barney.

Barney: Hm. Yeah, I think it's pretty solid.

Marshall: OK, think about this, is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?

Lily: Garlic fries.

Marshall: OK, well, I'll get back to you.

Ted: Oh, daddy's back. See, if you'd taken a moment to think about that...

Barney: Then Daddy wouldn't have gotten this seven-digit Father's Day card from Amy, huh?

Ted: That worked. I hate the world.

Barney: Ted, your problem is all you do is think, think, think. I'm teaching you how to do, do, do.

Marshall: Doo-doo.

doo-doo ‚¤‚ń‚ż

Barney: Totally.

Ted: So, I think a lot. I happen to have a very powerful brain. It can't be helped.

I happen to have ‹ô‘RŽ‚Á‚Ä‚˘‚é

Barney: Oh yes it can.

Marshall: Interesting

Barney: Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, hey, Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool but it's your job to make him awesome. Your brain screws you up, Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob. And it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inebriation-style.

get in the way Ž×–‚m–W‚°EáŠQn‚É‚Č‚é bucket of ‘ĺ—Ę neuroses _ŒoÇ inebriation-style ƒAƒ‹ƒR[ƒ‹ˆË‘śÇó‘Ô

Ted: So, what? You want me to do a shot.

Barney: Oh no. I want you to do five shots.

Marshall: Oooh, more interesting.

Ted: Barney, I think you've officially...

officially ‚Í‚Á‚Ť‚čŒž‚Á‚Ä

Barney: No, don't think. Do.

Marshall: Ted, he's right. You overthink. Maybe you should overdrink.

Marshall,Barney: Drink, drink, drink, drink...

Ted: Ah, Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they're being?

Lily: Guys, you are being immature and moronic and drink, drink, drink

immature –˘ŹnŽŇ moronic ‚΂Š‚Č

Marshall, Lily, Barney: Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink...

Marshall, Lily, Barney: Yes! Drink, drink, drink...

Ted: Let me tell you something about this brain, OK?

Marshall, Lily, Barney: Drink! Drink, drink...

Ted: Even alcohol cannot stop this brain.

Barney: I love it, I love it, I love it.

Marshall, Lily: Drink, drink, drink...

Ted: This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain.

mortals kŽ€‚ʉ^–˝‚É‚ ‚éllŠÔ

Marshall, Lily, Barney: Drink, drink, drink, drink...

Ted: This is a superbrain.

Ted: This brain is unstoppable. This brain...

Narater: And that's all I remember, except for a few hazy memories.

hazy ‚Ú‚ń‚â‚č‚ľ‚˝

Narater: But really, the next thing I remember is waking up the following morning.

Narater: So, there were some unanswered questions.

Narater: How much did I drink? How did I sprain my ankle?

sprain ”PÁ‚ˇ‚éA‚­‚ś‚­

Narater: And who was this girl in my bed?

Lily: There's our rock star

Ted: OK, what the hell happened last night?

Marshall: You really don't remember, Superbrain?

Narater: So, Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily filled me in.

Carl: And how did you guys like the shots?

Ted: I drank all five, bitch.

Marshall: I love drunk Ted.

Ted: Marshall thinks you're a vampire.

Carl: If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up.

puke “f‚­

Lily: No dibs.

Marshall: Oh.

Barney: No....Dammit.

Ted: How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny.

vomit “f‚­

Lily: Who are you calling?

Ted: Robin.

Marshall: Oh, bad idea.

Barney: No, no, that's a great idea. That's the whole point of getting drunk. You do things you would never do in a million years if you were sober.

whole point of `‘S”Ę‚É‚¨‚˘‚ďd—v‚Č“_m‚ą‚Ɓn sober Œ‚˘‚Ş‚ł‚ß‚é

Lily: Says every girl you've ever slept with.

Marshall: Say what?!

Ted: Hello Robin, it's Ted.

Robin: Oh hi Ted.

Ted: Hello Robin, it's Ted.

Robin: Hi Ted. Sounds like you're having fun.

Ted: Robin, have I ever told you that I'm vomit-free since ninety-three?

Robin: Listen, Ted, I can't really talk right... '93? Dude, that's impressive.

Ted: I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes.

Robin: That's sweet and odd. But I'm kinda on a date right now.

odd k’ʏí‚ĆˆŮ‚Č‚él•ĎmŠď–­n‚Č

Ted: Yeah, and I disagree with Barney. Just 'cause this guy is spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out. Take it slow, Robin, take it slow. Slow.

disagree with `‚ÉˆŮ˜_‚Ş‚ ‚é take it slow Td‚ÉŽ–‚đi‚ß‚é

Robin: Bye Ted.

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