ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Okay, no holds barred-- what'd you think of Becky?"

–ź‘O

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBaby Talk

Narator: Kids, in the fall of 2010, our friends Stuart and Claudia had a baby, and Marshall and Lily were the first to visit the happy new parents.

Marshall: So, have you guys landed on a name yet?

Stuart: We're trying, but it's tougher than you think. You see, I like "Tiffany."

Claudia: And I don't want my daughter to have a whore's name.

Stuart: That's my mother's name.

Claudia: I know.

Stuart: Oh, I got it. How 'bout we name the baby after you-- "Frigid Shrew."

Claudia: Oh, that's good. No, no, no, no. Let's call her "Vodka." Then at least we know you'd hold her tight and never let her go!

Stuart: Don't knock the vodka. Wouldn't have a kid without it.

Marshall: Stuart, you are so... That's not gonna be us, right? I mean, how hard can it be to name a baby?

Lily: Right? I mean, just look at her. Yeah. She's clearly a...

Marshall: Emily.

Lily: Lisa.

Marshall: Lisa?!

Lily: Emily?!

Marshall: Okay! I made a list of awesome baby names. Starting at the top number one...

Ted: I'm gonna stop you right here, Marshall. You name a chubby white kid "LeBron," and he's the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop.

chubby ŠŰ‚Ű‚ż‚á‚Ě

Marshall: Then I'm also crossing off, um, "Shaquille"... Mm-hmm. "Hakeem," and "Dikembe." Hey, what about "Rob"?

cross off Žć‚čÁ‚ˇ

Lily: "Rob"? No.

Marshall: Why not?

Lily: Hey, Rob. What are you gonna make? A turkey?

Rob: Hunka, hunka!

Lily: Not "Rob."

Marshall: um, how about "Ryan"?

Lily: Not "Ryan."

Marshall: "Johnny?"

Lily: Hey, where's the goldfish?

Lily: Not "Johnny." Or "Gil."

Marshall: "Jeremy."

Lily: Jeremy, no!

Lily: Definitely not "Jeremy." His stuff was so derivative.

derivative ”hś“I‚Č

Marshall: Well, I mean, geez, Lily.

Robin: Well, whatever you do, do not name your baby "Becky," right?

Marshall: Why? What?

Robin: Becky. My new co-anchor? Don't you guys ever watch the show?

Lily: Oh, honey, I really try.

Marshall: Our DVR won't recognize it as a television program.

Ted: I watched. Robin insisted I confirm how "awful" Becky is, so last night I checked it out.

Robin: Peace talks in the region have been described as, "productive." Becky?

Becky: Last night, in Staten Island, a taco cart owner was robbed at gunpoint. Aww... That's so sad.

Robin: Becky, we're-we're journalists. We can't get emotional about the news, we...

Becky: Oh, no! They stole all his money and then pelted him with his own taco meat! Who would do that?

pelt with “Š‚°‚é

Robin: Well, if you read the story, we might find out.

Becky: Oh, can I do this one, about the horse? I love horseys. Aww, the horse died. Guys! This news is all really sad.

Robin: Okay, no holds barred-- what'd you think of Becky?

no holds barred –łđŒ‚Ĺ

Ted: Mmm... I thought she was charming.

Robin: You, too? Can somebody please explain to me why the little girl act works on men?

Barney: You want the long version or the short version?

Lily: Short version.

Barney: Short version. Who's your daddy?

Lily: You know, when you think about that, that phrase is really creepy.

Marshall: No, it's not. It's fun. Here, watch this. Hey, Lily... Who's your daddy?

Robin: Okay, uh, let me get this straight. So, in, uh, in this scenario, because you make such sweet love to Lily, she is now your daughter.

Marshall: No, she is not my daughter. I'm just her daddy.

Ted: Wow. That is disgusting.

Robin: Exactly. And it's not like the opposite would work. There's no way a guy could pick up a girl, going around talking like a little boy.

Barney: Challenge accepted.

Robin: No.

Barney: I, Barney Stinson, will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy.

Lily: Okay. Here's my list of baby names.

Marshall: Oh.

Lily: What about "Tara"?

Marshall: No. Not "Tara." Tara was the hottest girl in my high school. We were all, like, obsessed with her.

Marshall: We didn't just talk about her and fantasize about her... We wrote songs about her.

fantasize ‹ó‘z‚ˇ‚é

Marshall and his friends singing: Tara, your booty is so smooth; And I hope this isn't rude; But I want to get up on it.

booty ‚Ż‚Â

Marshall: Not "Tara."

Lily: What about "Esther"?

Announcer: Gentlemen, gentlemen. Coming up on the main stage, give it up for Esther!

give it up for ”Žč‚ˇ‚é

Marshall: Oh. Oh. Hey, Barney. That prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's 10:30 in the morning. I don't need to see a lady get naked and dance.

Barney: Oh, Esther gets naked. But she doesn't dance.

Marshall: Then what does she do? Sweet mother nature!

Barney: That was my card!

Announcer: Gentlemen, gentlemen. Give it up for Esther!

Marshall: Not "Esther." I need a drink. Ted? Ted?

Ted: Marshall, your list is entirely boy names. You do realize there's roughly a 50% chance of you having a daughter, right?

Marshall: Okay, honestly, I've never thought about having a girl. I don't want to think about having a girl. Tara, Esther -- can you imagine being one of those girls' dads?

Marshall's friends singing: Marshall's daughter. Your booty; Your booty's so smooth.

Announcer: Gentlemen, gentlemen. On the main stage, give it up for Marshall's daughter.

Marshall's daughter: He screwed up my childhood. That's why I do this.

Marshall: I have no idea how to raise a daughter! What if she makes bad choices? I mean, what if she winds up dating some... Oh, God.

wind up Œ‹‹Ç`‚É‚Č‚é

Marshall's daughter: Papa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend.

Barney: Hey, bro. Thanks for making such a hottie. Who's your daddy?

Marshall's daughter: You are, 'cause of all the sex we have.

Marshall: I don't want a girl. I just want a little boy.

Ted: It's not what it sounds like, folks.

“`“

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