Ted: Well, since I only have one box I figure I might as well unpack it.
Robin: Mm, where do you think we should put it?
Ted: Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, I was thinking the cupboard. What?
Robin: Uh, the thing is my kitchen is kind of small. And, um, I already have a bunch of pot lids and mine come with pots, so...
Ted: You're saying there's no way to make room for the single box of stuff I try to move into our place?
Robin: Well, why don't you just take it down to the...
Ted: Do not say storage space.
Robin: I was going to say Dumpster.
Ted: Damn it, Robin, this is all I have left in the world ? eight pot lids and a sword.
Robin: Yeah, about the sword.
Barney: Hello.Put on the suit, Mr. Mosby.
Ted: Barney, I know it's you.Where's my stuff?
Barney: It's not me.If you want to see your precious possessions again, put on the suit.
Ted: What suit?
Barney: Ding-dong.Oh, what's that?The doorbell.That's the suit I'm talking about.
Ted: I haven't gotten to the door yet.
Barney: Oh, okay, let me know when you get there.
Ted: Okay, I opened it.And there's a suit there.
Barney: That's the suit I'm talking about.
Barney:This isn't Barney.But I hear that guy's awesome.All right.Listen very carefully.You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges.Number one, put on the suit.Number two, meet me at McClaren's in an hour.
Ted: How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
Barney: I look like Barney.
Barney: Oh, hey, Ted.Suit and sneakers.A little Ellen DeGeneres but you pull it off.
Ted: I don't have any other shoes because you stole them along with everything else I own in the world.
Ted: Where's the truck, Barney?
Barney: Barney.People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom call me Barney.I think you should call me The Commodore.
Ted: I'm not calling you...
Barney: You're not getting your stuff back.
Ted: Can I please have my stuff back...The Commodore?
Barney: No.Here's the deal, Ted, you're my bro.And you're about to become a henpecked, beaten down, shell of a man.So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros.It's a bro-ing away party.A special bro-casion.A bro-choice rally.Bro-time at the Apollo.
henpecked 尻に敷かれた beaten 打ち負かされた shell of a man 閉ざした心
Ted: Oh, bro me.Well, so what do I have to do?
Barney: No, it's not what you have to do, it's what you want to do, and you want to have a good time before you go take Fun Ted out back and shoot him.So... first thing on the docket... get me that girl's number.
Ted: Absolutely not.
Barney: Mm.That's too bad.Hey, hypothetical question if I was all your stuff, would I rather be at the bottom of the East River or The Hudson? Ted gets up.
Marshall:Hey, look, world's strongest man is on.
Lily: Ooh, it's the one where Lou Ferrigno pulls the bus from the Partridge family with his teeth.
Marshall: It's the best one.Hey, Ted, get in...We live alone.
Ted: Well, I win.You need to give my friend your phone number.
Girl: Wow, I really didn't think Lou Ferrigno could pull that bus.Are you sure this is live?It looks pretty old.
Ted: Yeah, that's 'cause the, uh, TV is old.
Barney: So, I'll, uh, call you tomorrow?
Girl: Yeah.Um, not too early.I have church.
Barney: You were impressive, buddy.Nice work.All right, next challenge.
Ted: No.No next challenge.Look, this is my first night living with Robin.She's probably pissed I'm spending it out with you.
Robin: This might be our last hurrah, my little friend.
Lily: Marshall, I am gonna cook you the best dinner of your life.How would you like a...one-egg omelet with some ketchup and film?Guess Ted's the one who did the shopping.Ooh, look, a microwave pizza!Guess the microwave was Ted's, too.
Marshall: Yeah.So were all the towels.Turns out that everything that was useful in this apartment was Ted's.Everything that was a Foghat poster we bought ironically in college was mine.
Marshall: Yeah, baby?
Lily: I miss Ted.
Marshall: Is it too soon to call him?
Lily: No, we shouldn't.I don't want to interrupt his first night living with Robin.
Barney: Ha, nice shooting.You know, if we win this one it's free onion rings at the Intergalactic Snack Shack.
Ted: What a bargain.We only had to spend 20 bucks a game.
Barney: Admit it, you're having fun.
Ted: Maybe.I mean, it was pretty funny when that little girl fell over that space barrel.
fall over 倒れる
Barney: Nice... We win.Oh, walk of shame, walk of game? what up? Okay.Let's go one more.
walk of shame 罰ゲーム
Ted: I don't know.
Barney: You know you want to.
Ted: All right, let's do it ? I just got to call Robin real quick.
Barney: Oh, so that's what it's gonna be like from now on? No.Okay, okay.You call your old lady and ask permission to have fun.Me, I will be at the Snack Shack eating our victory onion rings Han style.Solo.
Robin: Hey, Ted.
Ted: Hey, sweetie listen, I'm really sorry but I'm gonna be pretty late, so don't wait up.
Robin: Oh, it's totally fine.You do what you got to do.
Ted: Thanks.You're the best.I love you.
Robin: I love you, too.Bye. Hey, sorry about that.Thanks for holding.Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo, that would be great.No, it's a great magazine.Really great.They've printed three of my letters.It's just that my boyfriend is moving in and he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing.A free hand grenade phone?You know what?Let me give you my work address.
Marshall: I did it, baby!I got beer.I got food.We don't need Ted anymore.I am the provider of this apartment now, and I have provided!"Provode"?Provided.Anyway, I got us everything we need.
Lily: Could you toss me the toilet paper?
Marshall: Be right back, baby.Sit tight.