ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"This isn't just some dead cat bounce."

200

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzRight Place, Right Time

It's not too many.

Thank you.

No, don't get me wrong.You're disgusting, and the cops should probably clamp a boot on your genitals, but that number should be higher.After Barney told me about all this, I crunched the numbers and, well I had some charts made up.Barney here hits on roughly 20 girls a week.

disgust ‹C•Ş‚đˆŤ‚­‚ł‚š‚é genitals ŤŠí

It's way more than 20.And B.Smooth don't do nothing roughly.

Let's say 20.So, 20 girls a week means In Barney's 16 years of sexual activity, that means he's hit on 16,640 girls.Now, if he's bedded 199 of them, that is a success rate of a little over one percent.That's a batting average of 12, eight times worse than the career batting average of one-handed pitcher, that's right, pitcher Jim Abbott.

Jealous.Jealous.Hero.Suspiciously quiet during this conversation about number of sex partners.Hero.It's the grand total.That's the only number that matters.

Suspiciously ‚¤‚ł‚ń‚­‚ł‚ť‚¤‚É genitals ŤŠí

Says who?

Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School.

stud ¸—͐â—Ď‚Ě’j

Stinson, you're such a dweeb-o.I bet you never even done it with a girl.

Neither have you.

How many times do I have to explain this? I've done it with 100 girls.They're seventh graders at my cousin's school on Long Island.

Well, you know what, Matthew? Someday, I'm gonna do it with 200.

Yeah.Call me when that happens.

And call him I will.

I think he's gonna say it again really slow.

Call him I will.

You listed Gaby Allan twice, as 78 and 162.

What? Let me see.Seventy Once.Oh, my God.Wait a I counted the same girl twice? That means I'm only at one 198?

That only means that you're half a percent less gross than we thought.

I'm seducing a Czech supermodel in two hours.I can't squander that on 199.Petra has to be 200.

squander –ł‘Ę‚É‚ˇ‚é

What are you gonna do? It's not like you're gonna find someone new to have sex with in the next two hours.

Hi, millionaire astronaut.Want to come back to my place and see some moon shells?

Go away.

I just got back from my wife's grave.Put her in the ground a year ago today.Man, I miss her.I sure could use some comfort.

You're creepy.

Man, aren't you sick of all the games? I just want to settle down and have a gaggle of rug rats, like, right now.

a gaggle of rug rats ‚Ş‚Ť‚ĚŒQ‚ę

I have Mace, and I enjoy using it.

Knowing how important this is to me, do you think Lily would even consider By the way, I would do all the work

I will end your life.

Right.

Where'd Barney go? It's been over an hour.

You know, looking over the names on this list, I'm not sensing a lot of ethnic diversity.He should really look at that in himself.

All done.You done with your drink? There's the stuff.

What the hell happened to you?

So, there's this girl at my gym Pauline she's been after me for some time.

Why'd you wait until now?

She's not exactly my type.

Looking good, Pauline.You are gonna rip it up at the Women's Pumping Iron Classic in Sarasota this fall.I was thinking about you and me and if you're still interested

Okay, blondie, time for Mama's cardio!

Geez!

Mommy!

Every inch of her tasted like roast beef and creatine.But I did it.I did it and I still have 30 minutes before I'm supposed to meet Petra.Robin, do you have any concealer handy? I'd really like to cover up some bruises and razor burn.

I hate to break this to you, but

What?

Well, you did count Gaby Allan twice, but you also went from 138 to 138.You used the same number twice.

Wait, so, that means Pauline wasn't 199, Pauline was 200?

Congratulations!

No That was supposed to be Petra! Petra was supposed to be 200! Gorgeous, feminine, "Doesn't wear a weight belt in bed," Petra!

Hey, come on.You made it to 200.You should be proud.You should be tested, but you should be proud.Who cares if Pauline doesn't pose for bikini pictures in magazines?

Actually, she does.She's gonna be in next week's issue of Muscle Sexxy.And like many of the ladies in that magazine, Sexxy has two X's and one Y.

And so, on my way to get a bagel, I stopped at a newsstand for a full minute to check out a picture of Barney's 200th.If I hadn't done that, I would've walked right by the newsstand, cut down 77th and gotten to that corner a minute early.I would've gotten the bagel, done some work, and you kids might never have been born.Now, why did I cut down 77th, and give a dollar to the homeless guy? Here's why.Back when Marshall first started working at Goliath National Bank

Fran, I don't mean to bother you but I have a big presentation tomorrow and it would really help if I could get like some charts and graphs made up.Could you help me with that?

This is the graphics department.We can make as many graphs, as many charts in as many colors on as many kinds of paper as you want.

We are gonna have some fun.

I've ranked the Presidents in order of how dirty their names sound.One: Johnson.Two: Bush.Three: Harding.Four: Polk.

This circle represents "People Who Are Breaking My Heart" and this circle represents "People Who Are Shaking My Confidence Daily." And where they overlap: Cecilia.

This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars.And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.

What's going on?

Enough with the charts.

And the graphs.

Really any visual representation of data.

I'm not an idiot.I know how you guys feel about my charts and my graphs.As a matter of fact, I've made a chart of your reaction to my charts.Let's take a look.Yes, it is true, since Cecelia, your interest in my charts has been steadily dropping.But based on recent trends, I have also made A projection chart! And look huge spike in interest coming! And this isn't just some dead cat bounce.This is big sustainable growth over the long term.

sustainable ‘Ď‚Ś“ž‚é

You're a big sustainable growth.

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