ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I didn't want to just viciously attack someone out of the blue"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBad News

Ted: Uh... Okay, I did a bad thing last night. I looked up his address.

Robin: Who?

Ted: Sorry. You said "who". It reminded me of the owl footage. Genius. No. Sandy. How dare he laugh at you. Who does he think... Sorry. "Who". Anyway. I looked up his address in your contact list.

Robin: Oh, God. Tell me you didn't go over there.

Ted: I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.

common sense íŽŻ discourse ‰ď˜b

Robin: Oh, God. Tell me those aren't the names of your fists.

Ted: They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker. So I went to his apartment.

Sandy: Ah... You're not the pizza guy.

Robin: Oh, my God. This is...

Ted: This is how you make sure Sandy never makes fun of you again. I told you to steer into the skid. That was bad advice. So new advice. Steer into Sandy, and run him down.

Robin: If people found out Sandy wears a toupee...

Ted: Really? That's your take-away? Nothing on the bear in the bra?

Robin: Oh, no. He's very open about that. That's Gregory. Nice guy.

Judy: And the top is so low-cut. Your father says he has front-row seats to the Minnesota Twins. Oh. Oh. By the way, Marshall, we do need to know if you're coming to Florida this summer. Are you coming? Marshall? Marshall, are you coming?

Marshall: This isn't working.

Marvin: Where you going, son?

Marshall: I'm... I'm going to... I'm... I'm going to...

Narator: Kids, to this day, your uncle Marshall is thankful for what Lily said next.

Lily: He's going to masturbate.

Marshall: Lily!

Lily: Marshall, just tell them what's going on.

Narator: And so Marshall told his parents everything.

Marshall: And so, now, I'm just scared that we won't be able to give you a grandchild.

Marvin: Aw, Marshall. Hey, we don't care about that one bit. And if you guys want kids, there are other ways. Adoption. Maybe you have a good friend who could loan you some sperm?

Marshall: Aw, yeah. Maybe adoption.

Marvin: What I'm saying is, we love you no matter what. Now, why don't you pretend you're in high school, get back in that bathroom, and "blow dry your hair".

Marshall: Wait, you knew?

Judy: We didn't have a hair dryer, dear.

Ted: So? Possibly last day of work?

Robin: Actually, it was a good day.

Sandy: And I need more numbers on how the holiday season impacted the economy. Sparkles, got anything on malls?

Robin: Actually, Sandy, I have something I think you're all gonna want to see.

Ted: Yes! Put him in a body bag!

Robin: Okay, I didn't do it.

Ted: What?

Robin: I didn't want to just viciously attack someone out of the blue like some kind of...

viciously ˆÓ’nˆŤ‚­ out of the blue •sˆÓ‚É

Ted: Owl?

Robin: Exactly. So, instead of taking your advice, I took your advice.

Narator: That day, Robin decided to steer into the skid. And though she never quite shook the nickname, Sparkles went on to do very well at World Wide News. Especially after this happened. After his parents had gone back to Minnesota, Marshall got the results of his test.

Stangel: I'm afraid I have some very bad news, Marshall. Judging from the results of your test, it is... it is very unlikely that you'll be able to father a child.

Marshall: Oh, God.

Stangel: I know, I know.

Marshall: It's just...

Stangel: Now... in some rare cases, a regimen change can fix the problem, so I'm recommending a spirited cardio routine. Preferably with a partner, involving any light-based firearm activity in the Tri-State area. Poughkeepsie, for example. Have you heard of the gentlemen's sport known as laser tag? Surprise!

regimen “Š–ňŒv‰ć spirited Œł‹C‚Č

Marshall: Damn it, Barney! What are you doing in here?

Barney: Think about it, Marshall. All entrants get 20% off at the snack bar! Oh, BT-dub, the receptionist. What's her situation?

Stangel: Go! Well, Marshall. I've got your results.

Marshall: And?

Stangel: Your sperm is fine.

Marshall: My sperm is fine!

Stangel: Count, motility... everything's off the charts. You, sir, have got some strong swimmers.

motility ‰^“ŽŤ spirited Œł‹C‚Č

Barney: Bro, that is awesome. Motility five!

Marshall: Hey, um, can I borrow your phone? I want to call my dad.

Ted: Yeah, go ahead.

Marshall: Man, this is great. I was expecting bad news. I really was.

Marshall: You're here! Oh, my God! I love you so much! Can you believe it?

Lily: Marshall... Something's happened. Um... Your father, he had a heart attack. He... he didn't make it.

Marshall: My dad's dead? I'm not ready for this.

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