ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I accept and appreciate even the grossest, creepiest, most sociopathic parts of you. "

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“8yŒ´‘čzThe Fortress

I love you accent.

Thank you.

I practiced it all morning.

You are adorable. Well... That Marshall's a lucky man.

Well, aren't you ducky?

Seriously if you were straight, I'd be all over you.

Huh.

What's this?

Oh, God.

Only the best thing ever.

Let's say you had a wonderful night with a girl, but now she's turning into a bit of a morning-after pill.

See? We need to extend the chute and add a landing spot. And you said testing it with a dummy was a waste of time.

No, I said "dressing the dummy" was a waste of time.

The Escape From Bitch Mountain by Stinson, patent pending.

Okay. He's kidding, it's just, you know, in case of fire.

No, but I'm glad you mentioned fire. See those smoke detectors? Say these words.

"I'm looking for a deeper commitment."

It's also triggered by "I'm too tired," "Let's snuggle," and "I'm a week late."

snuggle Šń‚č“Y‚¤

Barney, I'm getting wet.

And that turns it off.

Look, just stop talking. We've made up our minds.

Oh, well, thanks for taking a look. I'll walk you out.

We'll take it.

If you never get a black light, you'll be so happy here. Yes, yes! Yes, yes.

Trouble in paradise?

We have a child together.

I can't believe you watched Woodworthy Manor without me.

I can't believe that you're mad at me. I've been abandoned by my wife and my gay companion. If I get blinded in one eye by a badminton shuttlecock, you might as well call me Lord Esterbrooke.

get blinded –Ú‚Ş‚­‚ç‚Ţ

You watched the new one without me?

Betrayal stings, doesn't it, Emsbry?

Hey.

Hey.

Listen. I...

No, me first. I've been thinking and I realized something. The Fortress of Solitude is where Superman went to be alone. And I never want to be alone again.

Thank you, Barney, that really...

But then I remembered in Superman II, Superman gave up all his powers to be with Lois Lane, and he was honestly kind of a vag after that.

Oh, buddy, just quit while...

Now, Superman III was a complete train wreck totally.

What's your point?

That... that I love you. And... I'm giving up my apartment for you. And that the Superman films are uneven.

I really appreciate that, Barney, but... after you left...

Congrats. You guys are getting a fantastic apartment. I mean, I know some of the features are a little weird.

A little?

We're gonna rip this thing down to the studs.

rip ˆř‚Ť—ô‚­

I get it. But, I mean, some things might be worth saving.

I don't see any.

You don't see any? Sure some of the stuff in here is creepy, but it's also brilliant. I mean, a lot of geniuses were kind of pervy. Look at Thomas Edison-- why do you think that lightbulbs are boob-shaped?

pervy •ĎŽżŽŇ‚Ě

Yeah, we're taking a wrecking ball to this place and turning it into something actually fit for humans.

Excuse me.

Get out! The Fortress of Barnitude is no longer for sale. Also your husband has been staring at my ass all afternoon so don't act all high-and-mighty.

high-and-mighty ˜ü–‚Č

You turned them down?

Yeah. If I ask you to change too many things about yourself, you're not gonna be the man I fell in love with. Turns out, I accept and appreciate even the grossest, creepiest, most sociopathic parts of you.

Sounds like somebody just wrote her vows.

It's the Captain. Ahoy.

There's a zebra at the Central Park Zoo who's got quite a keen hoof at photography. Ironically, he's great with color. Now...

keen ‰s‚˘ hoof ‚Đ‚Ă‚ß

Captain, I'll check it out, just not tonight. I need to spend some time with my husband.

You sure?

I know it's been tough, me working this much, and I guess I went a little overboard with the whole artsy thing.

I know. The cape.

What about my cape?

I love it. And I... I know that you love this job. I should be more supportive-- I just miss you.

I miss you, too.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Hey.

You guys are all so lucky. When am I gonna find something real?

Well, Emsbry, ready to see what it's like to be with a woman?

I suppose there's a first time for everything.

Go ahead.

My son.

Okay.

Yeah, all right.

Are you guys sure we're gonna like this Woodworthy Manor show?

Yeah, it sounds kind of boring.

Kind of boring?

Grab a seat guys, but trust me, you're only gonna need the edge. Ah-ha, all right, now, a little backstory. Lady Stoutshire has developed a serious case of croquet ankle and the cook Mrs.Bootbrush can't find enough chestnuts for a proper St. Crispin's Day goose. Let's watch.

I love you.

My wrist is broken.

Worth it.

Ow.

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