ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"you're out of your mind"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“2yŒ´‘čzSwarley

Ted: Hey, guys.

Lily: Hey. Where's Marshall?

Ted: Oh, he's getting a haircut.

Lily: Oh. For his date. Good for him. Hope he has a good time tonight.

Barney: Relax, you've got nothing to worry about. The girl's crazy.

Lily: Thanks!

Barney: He'll just have wild monkey sex with her five times, max, and be done with her.

Lily: Thanks again.

Barney: What are you doing?

Ted: I just wanted to listen to a little music, that's all.

Radio speaker: And this next one's going out to Swarley. All your friends know you miss Barney, but he's gone, and you got to accept that, baby. And, Swarley, you're gonna be a better woman for it. Here's "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy.

Barney: Ha-ha! Now I'm a woman. I love it! You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, and you know what I realized? I like it.

Robin: You like being called Swarley?

Barney: Are you kidding? I want you to call me that.

Ted: Do you really think this is gonna work?

Barney: Do I think what's gonna work? I'm just saying, I love my new name, so please only call me that from now on.

Ted: Call you what?

Barney: You know, that-that-that new name that you've been calling me.

Ted: Say it.

Barney: Why? You guys know what it is.

Ted: Say the name.

Barney: No, I don't want to! I hate it! I hate it! It's not funny! It's never been funny! I've never done any... No!

Ted: Man, he is really gonna lose it when all the magazine subscriptions start coming in.

Robin: I signed him up for People in Espanol, but I addressed it to Swarlos.

Letfs sign him up. ”Ţ‚Ě–ź‘O‚𐳎Ž‚É‹LÚE“o˜^‚ľ‚悤‚ć

Lily: Hey, where's the picture of Marshall and me at the pier? Didn't it used to be by that window?

pier ŽV‹´

Ted: Oh, yeah, he, uh, he sort of took it down when you left. Put it behind some books, I think.

Lily: Oh, well-well, maybe I should put it back up.

Ted: Why, so Chloe'll see it and get scared off?

scare off ’Ç‚˘•Ľ‚¤

Lily: No. So Marshall'll see it and feel guilty. Yeah, okay.

Narator: But she wasn't okay. Later that night, while Marshall was on his date, Lily came back.

Chloe: ...anymore. Pretty impressive, huh?

Marshall: Wow, you really did memorize all the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire." Can I, uh, can I get you a drink?

Chloe: I'd love a beer.

Marshall: You got it.

Narator: Lily did what any sensible woman would do. She hid under the desk. And she stayed there, listening to her ex-fiance on a date with another woman.

Chloe: I had a really nice time tonight.

Marshall: Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking.

Chloe: I like your eyes a lot, too.

Narator: Finally, much like Billy Joel, she couldn't take it anymore.

much like ‚ť‚Á‚­‚č‚Ě

Lily: Stooooop! Hi. I'm Lily.

Marshall: Lily... Lily, what the hell are you doing?

Lily: I don't know. I... I don't know... what I'm doing. Oh, pumpkin beer, that was a good one. I'm just... I'm gonna go. I... I'm so sorry. Enjoy the rest of your date.

Chloe: She seems nice.

Marshall: Lily, what the hell...

Lily: I'm sorry. I only snuck up there because... When I saw how cute she was yesterday, I freaked out.

sneak up ”E‚ŃŠń‚é

Marshall: Lily, you saw her yesterday?

Lily: Yeah, I... kind of chased her down the street.

Marshall: Wait, so you were the hunchback with the limp?

hunchback ”L”w‚̐l limp ‚Ě‚ë‚Ě‚ëi‚Ţ

Lily: Yeah. And she didn't break the picture, I did.

Marshall: So Chloe's not crazy, she's... just a nice, normal girl.

Lily: Yeah, she is. And you deserve a nice, normal girl. So, why don't you just go back up there and finish your date.

deserve `‚É‚Ó‚ł‚í‚ľ‚˘

Marshall: Yeah. Okay. Wait, if you were the hunchback, then why did she think you were a guy?

Lily: I-I might have used a voice that sounded like this.

Marshall: Why?

Lily: Because I didn't want her to know it was me, which I now realize doesn't make sense, because she hadn't even met me.

Marshall: You're crazy. You have... crazier eyes than anybody that I have ever met.

Lily: Shouldn't you be going back up...

Marshall: I mean, you're out of your mind. You're... just absolutely insane.

you're out of your mind ‚Ç‚¤‚Š‚ľ‚Ä‚é‚ć

Lily: Shouldn't you be going back upstairs?

Marshall: I've missed you so much.

Ted: Okay, I ran it by the group, and we decided we're gonna give you a choice. We will agree to stop calling you Swarley, but instead, we'll call you Jennifer. Well?

Barney: I'm thinking. How about this? On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you...

Ted: Hey! Look at this.

Narator: So right there, in the exact same place that six months earlier I had walked up and found Marshall alone, crying over his breakup with Lily, I found him again. Only this time he wasn't alone, and he was happy. So we went to the bar to celebrate, and it was great. I was with Robin, Marshall and Lily were back together, and Barney had a cool new name. All was right with the world... Until we got back to the apartment.

Robin: Oh, my God.

Marshall: Hey, Chloe, I... guess I forgot I left you up here.

Chloe: I was gonna leave, but I can't find my keys.

Marshall: They're right there on the coffee table.

Chloe: Silly me. I must have looked everywhere else. Well... I'm just gonna go. Oh, I don't think we've met. I'm Chloe.

Robin: Robin.

Chloe: It's nice to meet you, Roland. I'll see you guys later.

Barney: Roland? Your name's Roland. That's funny, right? Rock and Roland. Warsaw is the capital of what? Roland. You're Monica Roland-ski. Hey, yeah, that's just how I Roland.

Ted: Nice try, Swarley.

Barney: Damn it.

Everybody: Swarley!

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