Ted: Hey, guys.
Lily: Hey. Where's Marshall?
Ted: Oh, he's getting a haircut.
Lily: Oh. For his date. Good for him. Hope he has a good time tonight.
Barney: Relax, you've got nothing to worry about. The girl's crazy.
Barney: He'll just have wild monkey sex with her five times, max, and be done with her.
Lily: Thanks again.
Barney: What are you doing?
Ted: I just wanted to listen to a little music, that's all.
Radio speaker: And this next one's going out to Swarley. All your friends know you miss Barney, but he's gone, and you got to accept that, baby. And, Swarley, you're gonna be a better woman for it. Here's "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy.
Barney: Ha-ha! Now I'm a woman. I love it! You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, and you know what I realized? I like it.
Robin: You like being called Swarley?
Barney: Are you kidding? I want you to call me that.
Ted: Do you really think this is gonna work?
Barney: Do I think what's gonna work? I'm just saying, I love my new name, so please only call me that from now on.
Ted: Call you what?
Barney: You know, that-that-that new name that you've been calling me.
Ted: Say it.
Barney: Why? You guys know what it is.
Ted: Say the name.
Barney: No, I don't want to! I hate it! I hate it! It's not funny! It's never been funny! I've never done any... No!
Ted: Man, he is really gonna lose it when all the magazine subscriptions start coming in.
Robin: I signed him up for People in Espanol, but I addressed it to Swarlos.
Let’s sign him up. 彼の名前を正式に記載・登録しようよ
Lily: Hey, where's the picture of Marshall and me at the pier? Didn't it used to be by that window?
Ted: Oh, yeah, he, uh, he sort of took it down when you left. Put it behind some books, I think.
Lily: Oh, well-well, maybe I should put it back up.
Ted: Why, so Chloe'll see it and get scared off?
scare off 追い払う
Lily: No. So Marshall'll see it and feel guilty. Yeah, okay.
Narator: But she wasn't okay. Later that night, while Marshall was on his date, Lily came back.
Chloe: ...anymore. Pretty impressive, huh?
Marshall: Wow, you really did memorize all the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire." Can I, uh, can I get you a drink?
Chloe: I'd love a beer.
Marshall: You got it.
Narator: Lily did what any sensible woman would do. She hid under the desk. And she stayed there, listening to her ex-fiance on a date with another woman.
Chloe: I had a really nice time tonight.
Marshall: Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking.
Chloe: I like your eyes a lot, too.
Narator: Finally, much like Billy Joel, she couldn't take it anymore.
much like そっくりの
Lily: Stooooop! Hi. I'm Lily.
Marshall: Lily... Lily, what the hell are you doing?
Lily: I don't know. I... I don't know... what I'm doing. Oh, pumpkin beer, that was a good one. I'm just... I'm gonna go. I... I'm so sorry. Enjoy the rest of your date.
Chloe: She seems nice.
Marshall: Lily, what the hell...
Lily: I'm sorry. I only snuck up there because... When I saw how cute she was yesterday, I freaked out.
sneak up 忍び寄る
Marshall: Lily, you saw her yesterday?
Lily: Yeah, I... kind of chased her down the street.
Marshall: Wait, so you were the hunchback with the limp?
hunchback 猫背の人 limp のろのろ進む
Lily: Yeah. And she didn't break the picture, I did.
Marshall: So Chloe's not crazy, she's... just a nice, normal girl.
Lily: Yeah, she is. And you deserve a nice, normal girl. So, why don't you just go back up there and finish your date.
Marshall: Yeah. Okay. Wait, if you were the hunchback, then why did she think you were a guy?
Lily: I-I might have used a voice that sounded like this.
Lily: Because I didn't want her to know it was me, which I now realize doesn't make sense, because she hadn't even met me.
Marshall: You're crazy. You have... crazier eyes than anybody that I have ever met.
Lily: Shouldn't you be going back up...
Marshall: I mean, you're out of your mind. You're... just absolutely insane.
you're out of your mind どうかしてるよ
Lily: Shouldn't you be going back upstairs?
Marshall: I've missed you so much.
Ted: Okay, I ran it by the group, and we decided we're gonna give you a choice. We will agree to stop calling you Swarley, but instead, we'll call you Jennifer. Well?
Barney: I'm thinking. How about this? On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you...
Ted: Hey! Look at this.
Narator: So right there, in the exact same place that six months earlier I had walked up and found Marshall alone, crying over his breakup with Lily, I found him again. Only this time he wasn't alone, and he was happy. So we went to the bar to celebrate, and it was great. I was with Robin, Marshall and Lily were back together, and Barney had a cool new name. All was right with the world... Until we got back to the apartment.
Robin: Oh, my God.
Marshall: Hey, Chloe, I... guess I forgot I left you up here.
Chloe: I was gonna leave, but I can't find my keys.
Marshall: They're right there on the coffee table.
Chloe: Silly me. I must have looked everywhere else. Well... I'm just gonna go. Oh, I don't think we've met. I'm Chloe.
Chloe: It's nice to meet you, Roland. I'll see you guys later.
Barney: Roland? Your name's Roland. That's funny, right? Rock and Roland. Warsaw is the capital of what? Roland. You're Monica Roland-ski. Hey, yeah, that's just how I Roland.
Ted: Nice try, Swarley.
Barney: Damn it.