ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"It just doesn't add up."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“3yŒ´‘čzThe Platinum Rule

Lily and Marshall: Oh my god!

Ted: I have a tattoo!

Barney: Oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp!

Ted: A tramp stamp?!

Narrator: Kids, too often in life, we make decisions that we're not prepared to live with. This is a story about those decisions, and the consequences that follow.

consequences ˆö‰ĘŠÖŒW

Ted: Say goodbye, kids, 'cause it won't be around much longer.

Lily: Oh, but Ted, if you get rid of the butterfly, how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper from Reno with daddy issues?

Ted: Yes, yes, enjoy these final moments of mockery because in just ten surprisingly expensive sessions, Stella is gonna zap that butterfly right off the face of my lower back.

mockery —âÎ surprisingly ‹Á‚­‚Ů‚Ç‚É zap ‘Ĺ‚ż•‰‚Š‚ˇ

Lily: Stella?

Ted: Dr.Stella Zinman. She's the best in the business. And she's rather cute in fact. In fact... we're going to a movie together tonight.

Barney: what?

Ted: I asked her out.

All: Ted, why would you do that?

Barney: What's matter with you?

Ted: What? What do you mean?

Barney: Dude... don't poop where you eat.

poop ‚­‚˝‚­‚˝‚É”ć‚ę‚ł‚š‚é

Ted: oh, no, this doesn't count.

Marshall: If it's someone you see on a regular basis, and you can't avoid them...

Lily: And in this case, you're paying them... then yes, it counts.

Barney: You've heard of the golden rule, right? "love thy neighbor?"

Ted: Uh, actually, it's "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's from the bible.

Barney: Damn it Ted, I've worked out this whole thing where the golden rule is "love thy neighbor", ok?... Now the golden rule is "love thy neigbor". But, there's one rule above it the platinum rule "never ever, ever, ever, love thy neighbor."

Ted: Well, that's cute. But she's not my neighbor, she's my doctor. So if you'll excuse me...

Robin: Wait, Ted, Barney has a point. Remember what happened with me and Curt down at the station?

Marshall: Oh, yeah, and remember what happened with us and the Gerards across the hall?

gerards ‚­‚˝‚­‚˝‚É”ć‚ę‚ł‚š‚é

Barney: Need I remind you about me and Wendy the waitress?

Ted: Yeah, I don't have time for this. I'm out the door as soon as I'm finished with my hair.

Barney: Good, then we've got a solid half hour. And in that time, we will convince you not to set foot out that door. It's a story older than time, my friend, and it always plays out in the same eight steps. Step 1: Attraction.

Barney: It's true.

Marshall: That's not even possible.

Barney: 12 of them.

Marshall: There's no way.

Wendy: Here's your gin and tonic.

Barney: Thanks.

Wendy: Oh gosh! Look at that.

Man: Oh, hey! You must be our new neighbors. I'm Michael.

Women: And I'm Laura.

Marshall: Oh, hi, welcome to the building. Yeah.

Laura: Do you guys know any good brunch places around here?

Lily: We love brunch!

The host: You must be Robin.

Robin: Yeah!

The host: Curt "the iron man" irons. I'm gonna be doing sports.

Robin: Oh, welcome. You look really familiar. Are you a former athlete?

Curt: Hockey.

Barney: The attraction is instant and undeniable. But you know better. You've seen your friends make the same mistakes before. You've laughed smugly at them. Idiots! But still, you think, "this is different. The platinum rule doesn't apply to me." And that step 2! Bargaining.

laughed at Î‚˘‚đ”ƒ‚¤ smugly ‚¤‚Ę‚Ú‚ę‚Ä

Robin: I think I've got a little crush on our sports guy.

All: NO! no, no, don't do it!

Robin: I know, I know but he used to play hockey, and I'm Canadian. I can't help it. If he were missing some teeth, I probably would have already hit that.

Lily: Robin, it's a mistake. Remember what happened with me and Marshall? The Gerards across the hall?

Lily: Michael and Laura. They're awesome. We're gonna invite them over for dinner.

The others: Oh no, no guys guys! Are you insane?

Ted: This is NYC.You don't get close to the neighbors. You nod at them politely in the hall. You call the cops if you haven't seen them in a while and you smell something funny, and that is it.

nod at ‰ďŽß‚ˇ‚é

Lily: we're not gonna date them. We're just gonna be friends with them.

Barney: That's the couples version of dating.

Robin: And you've got the couples version of the hots for them. Oh, yeah, you want to browse at pottery barn with them. You want to go antiquing with them, don't you? Oh, yeah, you want to antique the crap out of them.

barn ‰ďŽß‚ˇ‚é barn ”[‰Ž

Barney: Need I remind you what happened with me and Wendy the waitress?

Barney: I've decided to seduce Wendy the waitress.

The others: No! Don't do it!

Barney: Request denied! What rule is there that say's I can't seduce the waitress at my favorite bar?

Lily: I don't know. I'd expect you to have one already.

Robin: Yeah, with some sort of catchy name.

Barney: Well, I don't. I don't have one and I never will be because it's a great idea. Come on, guys! She's gullible. I'm bored. We're perfect for each other.

gullible ‚ž‚Ü‚ł‚ę‚₡‚˘

Ted: Barney, we love this bar. If you screx over Wendy the waitress, you're going to kill the bar.

Robin: Bar killer.

Marshall: Don't kill the bar, dude.

Barney: Yeah, well... I think it'll be okay.

Barney: And it was a huge mistake.

Marshall: Yeah, well, I think it'll be okay.

Lily: And it was a huge mistake.

Robin: Yeah, well... I think it'll be okay.

Robin: And it was a huge mistake.

Ted: Yeah, well... I think it'll be okay.

Barney: Ted, trust me. You don't want to do this.

Ted: Look, Stella and I are adults; we're both smart, mature people capable of making good decisions.

Robin: You have a butterfly tramp stamp.

Ted: We're just seeing a movie. If it seems at all weird, I'll back off.

back off “P‰ń‚ˇ‚é

Barney: That's what everyone thinks and then along comes step 3: Submission.

Barney: Good night!

Wendy: Hey Barney! Carl had to take off. You mind giving me a hand?

Barney: Not at all.

Curt: Robin! I got 2 tickets to the rangers. Center ice. Want to go?

Laura: And then we discover the movers lost all our kitchen boxes. We don't have a single pot or pan.

mover ˆř‚Á‰z‚ľ‹ĆŽŇ

Michael: Guess we're ordering take-out.

Lily: Want to have dinner with us tonight?

Wendy: That was an intersting use of the beverage gun.

Barney: Club soda can get anything off.

Wendy: It finally happened, all this time, every drink I brought you... I always felt there was this unspoken connection between us. And I was right!

Barney: hey, can I get a gin and tonic?

Ted: See, I bet you didn't pay for that gin and tonic.

Barney: Oh, I paid for it.

Ted: But you got to admit, there is an upside to breaking the platinum rule. Like maybe as her boyfriend, I could get a discount on treatments.

upside —˜“_

Barney: Oh, Ted, of course there's an upside. At first, that's step 4: Perks.

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