George: Thank you. Now, Arthur, your turn. I just sang three songs. Now you-you do your part from Guys and Dolls.
Arthur: Take your seats, everyone. The show's about to start. Douche.
George: So I hear my wife got you pretty good.
Ted: She caught me on tape trashing GNB.
George: Oh, that damn recorder. Try being married to that. "But you said you'd get the corgis neutered this weekend." "I said no such thing." "Oh, yeah?" Click. You're a good guy, Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville. Tell you what, when Zoey goes to sleep, I'll find that tape and erase it for you. No hard feelings.
Ted: Really? You'd do that to your own wife?
George: Sure. Why not? I mean, I'm glad she has these little causes, they keep her out of troubles, but when she throws a temper tantrum and it gets in the way of someone doing their job, that's a problem.
temper tantrum かんしゃく
Ted: No, you know what? Don't erase the tape. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's throwing temper tantrums. I just think she's, you know, standing up for what she believes in. I respect that.
George: Hey, what about this? I'll take you out on the boat sometime. You've got to see this boat. She's breathtaking.
Narator: Kids, there's an amazing architectural phenomenon in the Natural History Museum. If you stand in the right spot, you can hear an entire conversation all the way across the room.
Guard: July 23, 1981, incident report. At approximately 1000 hours,...vandal dislodged rib from triceratops skeleton...and flung said rib at giant whale. Causing said giant whale to fall in a downward trajectory. And the vandal's name... Well, I'll be damned... Barney Stinson.
approximately およそ vandal 破壊する dislodge 取り除く fling 放り投げる damned 忌まわしい
Barney: Who's the master, Leroy?
Guard: Stinson was reprimanded and returned to the custody of his father, Jerome Whittaker.
Barney: Uh, no, uncle. Jerome Whittaker is my uncle.Uncle Jerry.
Guard: Says father. Even signed it and checked the box for father and everything.
Barney: Jerry's my uncle.
Marshall: Lily? Honey, what's wrong? You okay? Do you want a hit of this sandwich?
Lily: I want you.
Marshall: Awesome. Let me just put a sock on the doorknob.
Lily:No. I mean, I want you as opposed to who you've become. You've changed so much.
Marshall: What? How have I changed? Did I cheat on you?
Marshall: Did I stop writing poems for you?
Lily: Yes, but I'm okay with that.
Marshall: Am I not as good at making the sweet, sweet love to you?
Lily: Actually, you're way better now. You last, like, two, three times as long.
Marshall: You said that any longer would be too much.
Lily: It's okay. College Lily thinks those are orgasms. No, it's... it's none of that. It's just this new Marshall... Corporate Marshall... he wears suits all the time. He doesn't care about saving the world. He's not you. I want you back.
Marshall: Well, you can't have me. Look at the sign. I'm extinct. I've gone the way of Jane's Addiction.
Lily: Actually, Jane's Addiction got back together.
Marshall: They did?
Lily: Yeah, they've done a few tours, they put out a new album.
Marshall: Are you serious?! That is awesome! Are they just as good?
Marshall: Look, I know that Corporate Marshall wears a tie and everything, but it sounds like he hasn't changed where it counts.
Marshall: Look, Lily, I know that you would have been okay if we were poor and I was trying to save the world, but will you still be okay if I make a lot of money and I spend all of it spoiling you and our kids?
Lily: We'll make it work.
Marshall: There he goes. The Marathon Man. Mr. Stamina himself. I can kiss better than that old man.
Robin: So when was the last time you saw him?
Barney: It was that day... July 23, 1981. My mom got pretty mad that he let me destroy a New York City landmark.
Barney: He never came around anymore after that. Think he moved away.
Robin: Well, maybe the security guy had it wrong. You never know...
Barney: But you do know, you do know. That's the thing. You know. He's my dad.
Robin: Barney, do you want...?
Barney: I don't want to do anything. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?
Ted: I'm serious. It's a great look. I think it could come back, but one question. Does it cost half as much as glasses?
Zoey: Can I steal you for a second?
Zoey: You don't need to worry. I... What are you doing?
Ted: Oh, I thought we were...
Zoey: Fine. I erased the tape.
Zoey: I don't need it. I'm going to beat you fair and square.
fair and square 正々堂々と
Zoey: But it's good to know how easily you can be manipulated by a woman.
Ted: You look gross when you cry, you know that? Some women look cute. You look like a basset hound.
Zoey: Oh, laugh it up now. Because starting Monday, I got you in my crosshairs.
Ted: Bring it on, Princess.
Arthur: Eriksen... It's, uh, 3:00 a.m. You know what, you might as well not even go home.
Narator: And so Marshall stayed right on at Goliath National Bank. Of course, it wouldn't last forever. But that's another story.