ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Sometimes in life, you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself."

‚T•Ş

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Burning Beekeeper

So that's what happened in the living room.Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the dining room.

Oh, no, that's not what you want.

Man, I can't believe these are vegan.I've had, like, 20 of 'em.

I should get the name of this caterer.It's my kitten's Bat Mitzvah next week.She's finally becoming a cat.

caterer ƒP[ƒ^ƒŠƒ“ƒO‹ĆŽŇ

Oh, God, you are crazy.About cats.

Cats are so honest and real with their affections.Ever since my divorce, it's just been one liar after another.That's why it's so refreshing to meet someone honest like you, Special Agent Gary Powers.

affection ˆ¤î

Listen I think we can agree there's something here.Something big that looks and probably feels real.Maybe we can go back to your place.

I can't ask you to delay intercepting those asteroids.

I do need to intercept those asteroids.

I think we need to have sex right now.Meet me in the upstairs guest bedroom in two minutes.

I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls.

Last one, sorry.

Two minutes.

How can they all be gone? The party just started.

I know, right?

Let's just put on some music.I'll, uh, I'll bring out the Gouda, we'll open a couple of bottles of wine that are in the basement.

Some jerk was just here.And he was all, like, I can't believe these are vegan.I've had, like, 20 of 'em.

Point me into the direction of this scoundrel.

scoundrel ‚ë‚­‚Ĺ‚Č‚ľ

Um it was that guy.

Ted, baby Gouda's coming out.Look alive.

Lily, these spring rolls ooh-ee!

Kitchen, now.

I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight.I mean, I think it's time that somebody took him aside and told him this is not how you treat your staff.

Well, I'm sort of busy with the party right now.

Fine.I'll do it myself.But he's gonna scream at me, and you know that I can't stand up to screaming.

Just go talk to him!

I think I should go talk to him.

Barney

Ah, Lily, Ted ate all of the spring rolls.

You could have had anything on that table! Mini pizzas, bacon-wrapped figs, pigs in blankets.There was even talk of an inbound Gouda!

Robin.Okay, listen, I need your help.I'm about to get in a screaming match with my boss, and I'm not good at getting screamed at, so I need you to warm me up.

How?

I want you to scream at me.You know, like you do to strangers on the street at the slightest provocation.

slightest provocation ‚Ů‚ń‚̏­‚ľ‚Ě’§”­

I don't do that.

Come on, lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me.Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout trying to sell you cookies.

Four dollars a box and you're out of Thin Mints?! You green little! I don't do that!

Come on, scream at me.Like that.

It's fine.Everything's fine.

Marshall, there is plenty of stuff that I don't get mad about, like the fact that you're serving pigs in blankets without hot mustard.I'm not the type of person to be driven crazy by a host who refuses to provide delicious hot mustard in which to dip my pigs in blankets! I'm the type of girl who keeps her cool.Who keeps her cool.

Wait.Whoa, baby, are you okay?

Of course.This party is great.I am handling this.Oh, God.

No

Hummus and veggies? I'm looking for hummus and veggies.

Robin, can I talk to you about something very dear to me?

Promise me this isn't about your penis.

I promise it isn't about my penis.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me, sir, could I talk to you in the kitchen?

Sorry about that.

I don't need this right now, Ted.I swear, if there's one more crisis

Well, the bees escaped their enclosure, but no reason to bee concerned.No, there is, we're in big trouble.

What is that smell?

Oh, I doused my suit with kerosene.All beekeepers do this.

douse —‚Ń‚š‚é

Dad, just take off the suit right now.

All right, fine.

Every 30 seconds, there's another crisis that needs to be dealt with and I have to deal with it.This is Oh, God.This is parenthood, isn't it?

So they say.

Okay, it's official.I thought I could do it, but I can't.No, Marshall's always at work.He's got to go back tonight.And I don't know if I can handle a life that's just one crisis after another.

Lily, listen to me.I'm gonna give you a little piece of

Gouda!

God.

Crisis?

Crisis.

Don't eat that.Whoops!

What?

Gouda's out, Ted.Don't sleep on the Gouda.Wouldn't dream of it.

So Lily told me you have to go back to work tonight?

No, I don't have to go back to work tonight.Mr.Cootes and I came to an understanding.But, hey, what's going on with Robin? I called her a mean son of a bitch and she took it all weird.

She did?

Yeah.

Crazy, right?

Hey, buddy.Best housewarming party ever.Everybody's abuzz.Abuzz.

abuzz ‚Ş‚â‚Ş‚â‚ľ‚Ä‚é

Oh, good one, Mickey.But, hey, you're right.Great party.

What the hell was that?!

And that's what happened in the dining room.Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the kitchen.

Oh, no, that's not what you want.

Man, I can't believe these are vegan.

Back to our fight?

Back to our fight.I cannot believe you screamed at that woman at Zabar's.

She was trying to cut in line.She was gonna get the last kugel.

She was 90 years old.It was probably gonna be her last kugel.

Sometimes in life, you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself.

assertive ‹­ˆř‚Č stand up for oneself ŽŠ—͂Őś‚Ť‚Ä‚˘‚­

You called her a whore.

Who wears that much makeup?!

Old ladies!

Who take money for sex.Exactly.Look, I'm sorry.If I would've left things in your dainty, lily-white, never-rippedan-old-lady's-wig-off hands, we would be kugel-free right now.

dainty ă•i‚Č

Oh, so, what, I'm too nice?

You never stand up for yourself.Remember that sixth grader who kept stealing your lunch?

High school was a tough time for me, okay? And that girl was muscular.Forearms like Popeye.How do you even know about that?

Forearm ‘O˜r

Marshall told me.He also said that you had your mom stop making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because of that girl's nut allergy.

I didn't want to add to her health problems.She was already in a wheelchair.Okay, so what? I would rather be nice than be like you, always getting in fights about stuff that's not even worth fighting about.

Disagree.It's like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War, Never give up.Never surrender.

That was Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest.

Whatever, dude.Your problem is any time you're faced with the least bit of confrontation, you run away.

confrontation ‘Η§

Oh, I run away from confrontation?

Ted, baby Gouda's coming out.Look alive.

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