Narator: This is the story of two blind dates. One in 2009... And one seven years earlier. In all that time, my dating routine remained more or less the same... until the fall of 2009, when I finally had a date that was different. Because it was exactly the same. I was on a blind date with the same woman I went on a blind date with seven years earlier.
Jen: It's nice to meet you.
Narator: And she didn't remember it. But then again...
Ted: It's nice to meet you, too.
Narator: Neither did I.
Barney: Guess who just got four tickets to the "Origins of Chewbacca" Star Wars exhibit?
Barney: No, I said, "Guess who?"
Lily: I heard you.
Robin: Yeah, um, isn't it a little early in our relationship to do something that would end our relationship?
Marshall: What? No, what are you talking about? It can be our first double date as couples! And plus, it sounds awesome! Is the original Chewbacca going to be there?
Barney: Peter Mayhew, in the fur. Who's with me?
Marshall: Hey, do you think they'll have Wookiee to English dictionaries there? I mean, even just an everyday phrase book would be helpful.
Barney: We're not going to the "Origins of Chewbacca" exhibit,Marshall. It's in Houston this year. Everyone knows that. I just wanted to get rid of the girls.
Marshall: Where are you taking me, Barney?
Narator: This wasn't the first time your Uncle Barney had kidnapped one of us.
Ted: Wait a second, the "Origins of Chewbacca" exhibit's in Montreal this year. Everyone knows that. Where are you taking me?
Barney: My guy in the DA's office scored us front row seats to a lethal injection. But we're still stopping for chili dogs first.
Ted: Stop the cab.
Marshall: Where are you taking me?
Marshall: Barney, why are we here?
Barney: Marshall, now that Robin and I are together, I've learned a lot about relationships by watching you and Lily.
Marshall: Thanks, man.
Barney: You're a terrible couple. Lily has taken all the man out of you. I used to think that's just every relationship. But what I've got with Robin proves that you can have a girlfriend and fully functioning male genitalia all at the same time.
take out of 奪う genitalia 性器
Marshall: Okay, right. So, if Robin knew that you were here, she would be completely fine with it?
Barney: Are you kidding? She'd sprint down here with a purse full of singles and a poncho for the 10:30 Jell-O show. BT-Dub, I called ahead it's lime.
call ahead 前もって電話する
Narator: Meanwhile, Jen and I were at my favourite first date restaurant... for the second time.
Ted: So, Jen, what do you do?
Jen: I'm between jobs banking crisis.
between jobs 失業中
Jen: I'm between jobs Internet bubble burst. Makes me realize I should go into something more stable... like banking. So what about you?
Ted: I'm an architect. Hopefully, one day, I can use my own humble brush on the masterpiece that is Manhattan's skyline.
Ted: I teach architecture. Get 50% off so, that's pretty sweet.
Barney: What is wrong with you? You're just looking. It's like fantasizing about other women. It's harmless. Wait. Don't tell me you don't fantasize about other women.
Marshall: I do! It's just not that easy.
Barney: False! I once fantasized about that silhouette chick you see on a truck's mudflaps. Took me less than a mile.
silhouette 〜をシルエットで描く mudflap 泥除け
Marshall: Not everyone is you, okay, Barney? Even when I do start to have a dirty thought like that... it seems so much like cheating on Lily, that I feel guilty. So first, I need to have a different fantasy.
Doctor: Bad news. Lily has a rare and fatal hiccup disorder that's apparently medical illegitimate.
Marshall: What?! How could this be?!
disorder 疾患 illegitimate 正用法ではない
Doctor: Beats me, but it says it right here on this doctor clipboard that doctors have.
Beats me わからない
Lily: It's time, baby.
Marshall: I will never love again.
Lily: No,Marshall, you must. And after an appropriate number of years, you should find someone else. Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time. And plow her like a cornfield.
appropriate ふさわしい plow 耕す
Priest: And so,Marshall, to honour Lily, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time and plow her like a cornfield.
Delivery girl: Delivery for Marshall Eriksen.
Marshall: This one's for you Lily. Where do I sign?
Marshall: And then watch out, because it is on!
Barney: That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Dude, Lily gets you in real life She has no business in your fantasies.
Marshall: It's all I know, okay? I can't, I can't help it.
Barney: I accept your invitation. Marshall Eriksen, from this day forward, I will be the wingman of your mind. Now, focus on the next dancer. Put Lily completely out of your mind.
Voice: Gentlemen, say hello J-J-J-Jasmine.
Marsahll: Barney? Is it just me or does that stripper look exactly like...?
Barney: Ted, we found a stripper who looks exactly like Lily!
Ted: Yeah, I can't talk right now.
Barney: I'm speechless, too. Everything's as perky as we've always imagined!
Marshall: Stop looking at her.
Ted: Uh, look, I got to go. Take a picture.
Barney: Oh, I will. But first, I'm going to make Marshall watch as I wedge Ulysses S. Grant between his wife's tatas.
Marshall: (hitting him) I'll kill you!
Ted: Sorry about that.
Jen: So, any thoughts on food?
Ted: Yeah, do you wanna share the oysters?
Jen: I would love to share the oysters.
Ted: Good. 'Cause if you didn't......that would be mighty shellfish.
mighty 強力な shellfish 貝
Jen: Wow, that's bad.
Ted: That's why it's funny!
Ted and Jen: We've been on this date before.