Ted: We've been on this exact blind date before.
Jen: In this exact same restaurant.
Ted: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that blind date went too well.
Jen: Me neither. I remember thinking that you were a little snobby.
Ted: Wait, you... You dress your cats up in weird costumes.
Jen: They're not weird. See, you're being snobby again.
Ted: Oh, my God. Do you realize what this means? Since our first date, we've done a complete lap of all the single people in New York only to end up back here, with each other.
Jen: Whoa. We're going to die alone, aren't we?
Ted: Well, you've got your cats.
Jen: This is insane.
Ted: Wait, I got to ask. Why did you think I was snobby?
Jen: Wait... Okay... yeah, we were sitting over there...
Ted: Main Lobster. They spelled "Maine" without the "e." Good to know we're not getting the crappy understudy lobsters, right? Tonight, the role of pound-and-a-half lobster will be played by...
Jen: I get it, Ted.
Jen: Pointing out spelling errors in a menu makes you seem kind of snooty.
Ted: Huh. I had no idea.
Jen: Okay, well, what about me? Aside from the cats, how did I come across?
Ted: That's right-- the check. The check came and, of course, I was going to pay, but you didn't do the check dance.
Ted: Guys want to wave the girl off and, you know, look like a big shot.
Jen: Huh. I had no idea.
Ted: This is good. We're learning stuff. You know what we should do? We should retrace the rest of that night and figure out what else we do wrong on first dates. 'Cause let's be honest, we are scaring people off, Jen.
scare off 〜が逃げてしまう
Jen: We really are. Okay, I'm in.
Jen: Where'd we go next?
Ted: I think we went to MacLaren's.
Jen: Okay. Hey, I didn't really talk about my cats that much, did I? And then, there's Tabby-gail Adams, the jester of the group. Tone down the kitty talk. Check.
Barney: You will not believe who we saw tonight.
Marshall: Dude, um...
Barney: We saw the third doppelganger!
Narator: I should explain. Over the years we had spotted two strangers who looked exactly like members of our group.
Barney: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Narator: Lesbian Robin. And Moustache Marshall. By the following summer, we would find the remaining two doppelgangers. But I'll get to that.
Barney: Ladies, meet Stripper Lily.
Barney: Yeah, I couldn't get her face in it. But she looks just like you.
Lily: So you went to a strip club?
Lily: And there was a stripper who looked exactly like me?
Marshall: Okay, babe, look, before you get mad, let me...
Lily: Awesome! I bet the guys were going crazy. Oh, I bet they wanted to touch her so bad. But all you can do is look, unless you go into the back room, but honey, you got to pay for that.
Robin: So... Strip club.
Barney: Marshall made me go.
Ted: All right, so what did I do wrong next? Let me have it. I'm here to learn.
Let me have it 教えて、言って
Jen: Well, I kept telling you I was cold, but you didn't offer me your jacket.
Jen: It's a little brisk out tonight, huh?
Ted: Not really.
Jen: Really? I can't feel my fingers.
Ted: I'm pretty impervious to stuff like that.
Ted: I couldn't admit I was cold. I didn't want to seem like a wimp compared to your action hero ex-boyfriend who you wouldn't stop talking about.
Jen: After a day of fighting fires, Jim would love to come home and unwind working on his '68 Camaro. That or bare-knuck boxing, which he learned in the Marine Corps.
Ted: I had an aunt in the Coast Guard.
Jen: Okay, so no talking about the ex. Not even about his shockingly small wiener?
Ted: See? Why didn't you lead off with that?
lead off with 口火を切る
Lily: Was there a shower on stage? Sometimes there's a shower on stage. I bet stripper me would get in there with another girl and just go bananas.
go bananas 頭がおかしくなる
Barney: See,Marshall? We got to have a bros' night at a strip club and both of our ladies are totally cool with it.
Robin: I'm not cool with it.
Barney: Because they understand that it's healthy for us to do that from time to time.
Robin: It's disgusting.
Barney: Because it's harmless.
Robin: Did one of your whores tell you that?
Barney: And, Lil,Marshall shouldn't have to go to so much trouble just to have an innocent fantasy.
Lily: Trouble? What trouble?
Marshall: It's, no, it's nothing.
Barney: Marshall, tell her. We're all friends here.
Robin: No, we're not.
Marshall: Lily, Sometimes I think about other women. Okay, it happens. But even when I do, I feel so guilty that I have to imagine you... passing away first, because even in a fantasy world, I could never cheat on you. You're... you're just my life, baby. And I love you.
Lily: You kill me off?! I mean, fantasize about other girls all you want, but could you maybe not murder me?!
Marshall: Murder?! No! I, baby-no. You develop a chronic illness! I spare no expense for your care! I even stand up a foundation in your name. We're, like, this close to a cure.
spare no expense 金に糸目をつけない
Jen: Oh, yeah! I do remember. We went in here for a drink with your friends. Who I loved... Or hated, depending on whether you're still friends with them.
Ted: You loved them.
Jen: They're family, Ted.
Ted: Let's go in and see what they remember. And they are my best friends, so don't be surprised if they suddenly "can't think" of anything I do wrong.
Robin: Did he juggle? Bad puns? Mmm. Expect a standing ovation for picking up a $19 check
Lily: Oh, let's not forget the menu typo gold mine. Keep pannin' that river, buddy.
Marshall: Well, it is a lot cheaper than buying a condom. Oh!
Jen: Actually you know what it was? I remember him coming across as kind of a player.
All the other: Ted?
Jen: Yeah. We were all sitting over there...
Jen: And here's a picture of my cats dressed up like Batman villains. You got the Joker, the Riddler, Mr. Freeze...
Lily: What about Cat Woman?
Jen: Yeah, that would've been good.
Barney: Psst! Ted!
Ted: Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no! I remember that. I was not checking out a girl.
Barney: Psst! Ted!
Ted: We were checking out Moustache Marshall.
The other: Ah...
Jen: Gosh, I thought you were such a jerk. I'm so sorry.
Ted: Yeah, well, it's nice to know "past me" wasn't a total jackass, huh?
Jen: "Present you" isn't so bad, either.