Acting rule number one: Don't be afraid to improvise.
Was it me who betrayed you, or you who betrayed me?
Acting rule number five: Invent a rich back story for your character.
November 14th, 1998.The overnight train to Monte Carlo.I was in the billiards car hustling some Algerians out of few thousand dinar, when you seduced my fiance! Who is blind and thought you were me.
What in God's name are you talking about?
Acting rule number eight: Don't be afraid to get physical.
You know damn well what I'm talking about!
No, I don't!
Yes, you do! And by God, I'll hear you say it, scoundrel!
Mom, can you give us a sec?
There's chocolate and butterscotch.There's various kinds of sprinkles and marshmallows.
Have you lost your mind?!
You were amazing! You completely just became that character.
Honestly, I wasn't so much playing Ted as I was just trying to get out of Ted's way.
What is wrong with you people? How am I ever gonna explain this to my mother?
Maybe it's time to tell her the truth.
I don't know, Lily.Sometimes, honesty leads people to say mean things about a woman who always took special care of me because I was the runt of the family.For crying out loud, I'm only six-four!
How good was my crying?
You nailed it.See? Even at a gig you hate, you still managed to love what you do.
Maybe that's how it will be for you at your new job.
You think so?
I know so.
Thanks, Grant.You're pretty smart, you know that?
Sorry! Sorry! Thought I was picking up on something.
Honey, are you okay?
Look, Mom, there's something I have to tell you.Something I should have told you a long time ago.Tyler is dying.And Betty said that when he goes, she's gonna off herself.So that's probably all gonna go down pretty soon.
Oh, my God!
None of that is true! The truth is, I The truth is Betty and Tyler are actors that I hired to pretend to be my family.
I just wanted you to think I had the life you wanted for me.I wanted you to be proud of me.I know it sounds crazy, and I am so sorry, Mom.
So Betty is not your wife?
Thank God! I do not like that woman.
Yes.And Tyler I know I'm his grandma and I'm supposed to love him, but I hate that kid."Tyler no likey!" What the hell is that?
Those fake friends of yours out there, I just wanted to shoot myself.
I know! Aren't they horrible? So really, really, you're not mad?
I'm just confused.I don't know why you thought you had to do this.Barney, I love you, perfect family or no perfect family.I love you no matter what.
I am so relieved because the truth is I am as far from married as a human being can possibly be.My history with women would shock and appall you.
relieved 安心した appall ぞっとさせる
Doesn't matter.I still love you.
Seriously, you can't imagine the things I have done.
Barney, when you were three, I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong.
pass around 順に与える bong ゴーントならす
Just do me a favor.If you ever do meet someone special, don't run away from it.Don't be me.Take a shot at it, will you?
Hey, Barney, Cab's here.
And so ended one of the strangest afternoons of our lives.
And I just wanted to say to you, if I ever seemed cold or unwelcoming, I'm sorry.
Who's she talking to?
It would mean a lot to me if you and I could be closer.
Now take a deep breath like this next thing is gonna be hard to say.
I love you.
I love you.
Now pretend I said something nice.
Now pretend I said something nice.I mean, that's very nice of you to say, Judy.You, too.Speak soon.
Let me get this straight.You're really telling me that when you watch The Karate Kid, you don't root for Daniel-san?
Who do you root for in Die Hard?
Hans Gruber, charming international bandit.At the end, he died hard.He's the title character.
Okay, The Breakfast Club?
The teacher running detention.He's the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit.
I got one.Terminator.
What's the name of the movie, Robin? Who among us didn't shed a tear when his little red eye went out at the end and he didn't get to kill those people? I'm sorry.That movie
I am never watching a movie with you ever again.
They didn't even try to help him!