Narator: For many years, we had heard Barney quote the Bro Code, a list of dos and don'ts for all bros. Some were basic.
Barney: Bro Code article one "Bros before hoes."
Narator: Some were unbelievably complicated.
Barney: Bro Code article 89: "The mom of a bro is always off limits, but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it, and/or is wearing at least one a article of leopard print clothing."
off limits 立ち入り禁止 stepmom 義母 fair game 格好の的だ
Narator: And some were just plain disturbing.
Barney: Bro Code article 34: "Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way." Two dudes.
Marshall: This is not a legal document. This is just something you wrote.
Barney: You think I wrote that? Oh, Marshall, don't you know the glorious history of the Bro Code?
Barney: The year was 1776. The place Philadelphia. Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were hanging a drink.
Benjamin: But, bro, seriously, I called the dibs on that wench. You codpiece blocked me.
George: So what if I did? There's no rule against it.
Benjamin: Well, there should be. There should be a set of rules that govern the way bros comport themselves among other bros.
govern 支配する comport ふるまう
George: But who shall write such a document? I have to go to Me, D.C.,and pose for the dollar bill.
Benjamin: And I have to do some kite-flying or semething.
Barney: I shall write this set of rules. And I shall inscribe it on the back of the Constitution. To save paper.
inscribe 刻み込む Constitution 規約
George: It's resolved! Barney Stinson shall write... the Bro Code.
Barney: And I shall include a provision that stateth "No eye contact in a devil's three-way."
I second that 私もそう思う 同感だ
Marshall: Listen, what do you want me for?
Barney: I've just been losing my mind lately, and do you know why I feel so bad?
Marshall: Yeah, because you slept with Robin.
Barney: No, that was awesome. I feel bad because the Bro Code clearly states "No sex with your bro's ex." But if you, my lawyer,can find a loophole somewhere, then that bad feeling will go bye-bye.
Marshall: And you would pay me for that?
Barney: No, I'll just be the one shredding your paperwork. Technically, you'll be paid by a toy factory in Pyongyang.
Marshall: Barney, I'm no shrink, okay, but don't you see that this is just a desperate way for you to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Ted?
Barney: Hey, if I wanted a psychological evaluation, I'd hire the guy we pay to hypnotize us before depositions. Now, get cracking!
evaluation 評価 hypnotize 洗脳する deposition 宣誓証言 get cracking 動き始める
Narator: While Marshall examined the Bro Code, Lily's kindergarten class welcomed a special guest.
Lily: And with a little luck, in a few days, Farmer Frank's cold will be all gone. And that's why Farmer Frank's breath smells like medicine. Right, Farmer Frank?
Frank: You got it, toots.
Lily: Any last questions for Farmer Frank? Yes.
Girl: Will we ever go to see Missy the Goat again?
Frank: Oh! Ah, isn't that sweet! Well, you know, honey, right after this, I'm gonna drop old Missy off at the butcher shop. And they're going to take a great big knife...
Narator: And Frank went on to traumatize Lily's entire class with a graphic explanation of where meat comes from...
Frank: So not one little scrap of Missy goes to waste.
Girl: Ms. Aldrin, please don't let them eat Missy.
Lily: I know, I know. I already called an animal rescue, and they're going to come get her on Monday.
Ted: Monday?! Where's she going to sleep and eat and go to the bathroom?! Okay, where's she going to sleep and eat?
Lily: I-I guess I'll keep her up on the roof.
Ted: Look, call me crazy. I just... I don't think having a goat in the apartment is a good idea.
Narator: And, boy, was I right,because what Missy the Goat would go on to do in that bathroom was so... No, you know what? I'm getting ahead of myself. We'll get there.
get ahead of oneself 先走りする
Robin: Hey, Ted. You ready to, um... Where'd the goat turd come from?
Ted: How'd you know that was a goat turd?
Robin: Well, it was either that, or a musk ox turd, and I figured,what the hell would a musk ox be doing in here?
Ted: Hey. Guess what your wife brought home.
Marshall: Attorney-client privilege.I can't talk about it.
Ted: Talk about what?
Marshall: Nothing. How was your day? Oh, goat turd on the floor,I see. Is that new?
Ted: How does everyone know that's a goat turd?
Robin: Barney told you.
Marshall: I don't know what you're talking about,madam.
Robin: Marshall, you can't look me in the eye, you're blushing, coughing, and your hands are shaking.
blushing 紅潮 coughing 咳嗽
Ted: Robin, come here!
Robin: Ted is never finding out about this, you understand? Because it never happened, none of us are saying anything. And don't even think about opening that can until I'm out of the splash zone.
Barney: Fantastic, you're here. Give me the good news.
Marshall: I'm sorry. You did too good of a job writing this thing. It's-it's iron-clad.
Barney: No! Bad lawyer! I need a loophole! I want to feel better, Marshall! I can't keep buying things! I have six self-cleaning litterboxes and I don't even have a kid. Wait. How about this? Ted's probably broken this thing himself, right? And if he's broken the Bro Code, then I'm off the hook.
Marshall: I thought about that. And I gotta say, Ted has upheld this thing time and time again. For example, article 87: "A bro shall at all times say yes."
Woman: So he saved you from an avalanche?
Woman: And he carried you six miles to safety on his broken leg?
Woman: And you're a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer who used to be a member of the Russian mob?
Marshall: Article 29 "A bro will in a timely manner alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight."
Ted: Dude, two girls are fighting at MacLaren's.
Ted: Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. This one girl was like... Oh, hey.
Marshall: Article 53: "A bro will, whenever possible, provide his bro with protection."
Woman: That feels nice.
Woman: I just wish we had some wine.
Barney: Yeah. I wish we had some wine, too.
Barney: Damn it, Marshall. I'm not paying you to tell me what a saint Ted is! You're my lawyer! The answer is in there! Find it!
Marshall: Okay, this isn't about the Bro Code, and you know it. The reason that you're upset is because what you did was wrong. And the only way you're ever gonna feel any better about it is if you tell Ted what you did.
Barney: What if he never wants to talk to me again?
Marshall: Well, I guess that's just a chance you're gonna have to take.