Hello? Where are you? You're never late.You're on top of the Empire State Building? Listen to the old gal.She's got some stories to tell.Take all the time you need.Wait a second."Ted Mosby Home".Oh my God, the call is coming from inside the house.
That's not the Empire State Building.
Robin, you cannot sleep with my assistant.I'm trying to run a business here.How did this even happen?
Well, at lunch, when you go on your wisdom walks, it gives me and PJ some time alone together.
Inspiration do your thing.
It always does, sir.It always does.
Hey, PJ, I actually have an architectural question for you.How does Ted's ass taste?
I wouldn't know, but I assume it tastes like genius.
Why is the bathroom locked?
Visitors need to sign in for the bathroom key.
Listen, Peej, and I want you to think this over real good before you answer.Are you telling me that I can't go to the bathroom in my apartment?
No. I am telling you that you need to ask permission to use the bathroom in my office.
Why is that so hot?
Robin, There are billions of guys in the world.Why do you have to sleep with him?
Ted, when I get off work, it's 5:30 in the morning.Do you have any idea what kind of guys I'm meeting?
I deliver newspapers.It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.Don't worry.I'll wash them before I handle your business.
I live with my mom.At night, we watch TV in her bed.We call it "Cuddle Club".
So, you, get up really early to trade on the European stock exchanges? What's that like?
Look, is this going to happen or not?
Okay, first of all, I've hung out with Fantasy Guy.You could do a lot worse.Secondly, this has to stop.Distracting PJ is going to kill our productivity.
distract 気を散らす productivity 生産性
What productivity? You haven't even called a single client.
Once I get the Web site up, the brochures printed, and figure out what trusts games we're going to play at the corporate retreat, I am making those calls.
brochure カタログ retreat 退く
Mr.Mosby and I are going camping on the roof.
Hey, Sports Guy.I hear people are raving about your league.
It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.Between entry fees and transaction fees and penalty fees, I'm actually I'm holding on to a lot of money.
Great work, Sports Guy.That's for last week.
60, 80, a hundred.This is $18,000 cash.It's not a big deal.I'll just take it home and put it somewhere safe.Okay, just walking down the street with some money in my pocket.Don't touch the money.That's so obvious.Just be cool.The baby's on to me.Babies can smell money.Everyone knows that! I'm carrying a lot of money!
Seriously, dude, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this.
Marshall, last week you were trash that no one wanted to look at.Now, you're Sports Guy.
I was trash?
There's Ted Mosby of Mosbius Designs.How's the home office coming, buddy?
It was going great till Robin started banging my assistant.
It's our apartment, okay? You leave a big chocolate cake on the counter, Mama's gonna cut her off a slice.
I told you.Hire a cute assistant that you can sleep with, but instead you hire a cute assistant that Robin can sleep with.And of course he's gonna sleep with her.She's the greatest woman on the planet! I'm getting off topic! You're an idiot! That's my message!You're an idiot! One person storming off isn't enough! Marshall, storm off with me!
get off topic 話を脱線させる storm off 激しい勢いで去る
Barney, Dude, why are this upset about Ted not having sex with the people he hires?
Because it hurts!
It hurts you how?
It hurts because I love Ted.Having sex with women.I'm a very dedicated wingman! Look, Lily's the only person that I can talk to about this stuff.Just get her to talk to me.
I'll try, but there's no guarantees.She's still really outraged about that joke.That joke.Torn our little group apart, pitted people I love against each other.Seriously, I wish I wish that joke had never come into our lives.
It's kinda of funny though, right?
It's so funny, man.
Hey, good news, PJ.The brochures you designed just came in.Really interesting choice for the cover.I like how instead of one of my designs, you chose this.
You know what? I must've sent in the wrong photo.
You think? Look, PJ, the Web site's still not done.You didn't even show up to the corporate retreat by the way, I saw a shooting star and you're late every day.I'm sorry, PJ.I gotta get focused.You're fired.
You can't fire
PJ, you're fired.
Fine! Hey, baby.I just got fired.Yeah, I'll wait for you at your place.Wheel of Fortune.