Marshall: Heads! It's going to be heads. It's almost usually heads.
Lily: Hey, baby.
Lily: Did you put on pants today?
Lily: It was funny at first, but then it became a daily thing. I thought, "Okay, well, at least he's not leaving the house like that." Then, one day, he opened the door to get the paper. Day after that, went downstairs to get the mail.
Ted: Everyone's got an underpants radius. For most of us, it's the distance from the bedroom to the bathroom, but as your self-esteem gets smaller, your underpants radius gets bigger.
Robin: How big is Marshall's underpants radius?
Marshall: We're going.
Ted: Come on, Lily, he'll find a job eventually.
Barney: You know, Lil, when times are tough, I like to remember the uplifting words of my favourite song. "We'll be on your side when you need a friend. Through thick and thin you can always depend. On the world leaders in credit and banking. Goliath National Bank." Member FDIC.
when times are tough 困ったときは uplifting 励みになる
Lily: We've got to find Marshall that burger.
Ted: Lily, I think we're all eating that burger.
Robin: I'm not eating that burger.
Lily: No, if Marshall says this isn't the burger, this isn't it.
Lily: Excuse me. Did you guys change cooks or something? Because my husband was here 5 years ago, he's sure he had a different burger.
Waitress: Yeah, we get this a lot. This place is modelled after this other place uptown with the same green door and "Burger" sign.
Ted: What? Uptown? Where?
Waitress: 106th and Manhattan Avenue.
Robin: Damn it.
Marshall: 106. A numbered street. Of course.
Barney: Barney Stinson.
Regis Philbin: Barney, where the hell are you?
Barney: I'm sorry, this is...?
Regis Philbin: Regis. I'm at the place.
Barney: Of course. I'm sorry, I forgot to call you. That's not the place. The real place is on 106th and Manhattan Avenue. We're headed there right now.
Regis Philbin: What? Uptown? Fine, fine, I'll be there in 20. If you get there first, medium rare.
Regis Philbin: Onions?
Barney: Okay, no onions.
Marshall: Stop the cab!
Marshall: Wait. This is it.
Man: Your search is over. We got girls taking off their clothes.
Marshall: This is it.
Barney: One of 9,000 convenient locations.
Marshall: It was ri... it was right here. It was... it was right on this very spot.
Robin: I don't understand. Where is the burger place?
Ted: It's not a burger place anymore; it's a Goliath National Bank ATM.
Robin: That's fine. Let's just eat here.
Ted: We can't eat here. It's an ATM.
Robin: But... food.
Barney: What the...
Lily: This is your fault, you and your stupid bank. You did this.
Barney: It's not my... Stop, okay. Stop that, Lily.
Lily: I will never use a Goliath ATM ever again. Goliath National Bank sucks. It's the worst bank on the face of the earth. Attention, New Yorkers, this bank sucks! They suck!
Barney: Marshall, Geez.
Lily: They suck, suck!
Barney: Will you just tell her already?
Lily: Tell me what? Tell me what?
Marshall: I got a job.
Lily: What? Where?
Marshall: Goliath National Bank. That's why Barney's been going on and on about how, how great Goliath is. He wanted you to be excited for me since we will to working together.
Barney: Well, technically not together. You won't have access to my floor.
Lily: But you want to be an environmental lawyer.
Marshall: Yeah and I also want to be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy, but in the meantime, I need a job, and this is, this is a really good one. It's great pay and there's good benefits, and to be honest, it gives me a reason to put on pants in the morning. You know, I have my whole life to save the planet, but right now I'm kind of really excited to wear pants again.
Lily: You've got great pants.
Marshall: I love you.
Lily: I love you.
Ted: Robin, no!
Robin: They're unopened.
Ted: Give it.
Robin: They're barbecue.
Ted: Give it!
Lily: I'm sorry you didn't get your burger.
Marshall: It's stupid. I think about that first week in New York. You know? I was 22 years old. I had my whole future ahead of me. I guess I just kind of thought that if I could have that burger one more time and feel that way for one more night, that I might be able to check that off the list, and grow up, go work for the stupid bank, and just... be happy.
Man: You know, that burger place isn't gone. It just moved to a new location. And I can tell you where that is for a hundred bucks.
Robin: A hundred bucks? That's crazy.
Marshall: Let's pay the man.
Lily: I paid for the cab.
Ted: I have any cash.
Marshall: I haven't worked since March.
Barney: If only there were an easy, convenient way to get some cash right now. They all turn around face to the Goliath ATM.
Barney: Member FDIC.
Narator: So we paid the guy, and 20 minutes later...
Marshall: Thank you.
Ted: All right, Marshall, remember. It might not taste as good. This place has changed, you've changed, New York has changed. Just... don't get your hopes up too high, okay
Marshall: This is it.
Marshall: It's exactly the same. It's the best burger in New York. Go ahead, eat up, eat up.
Narator: And so, after finally tasting again the burger he'd craved for so many years, Marshall got up the next morning, put on some pants, and went to work, and he never looked back.
Lily: I want to get tiny fitted sheets for this burger, and just... crawl into this bun, get all cozy, and die there.
get cozy くつろぐ
Robin: Oh, my God. I just want you inside of me.
Barney: This feels so good. I'm worried I'm gonna get this burger pregnant.
Marshall: If he does get that burger pregnant, I have dibs on the delicious burger babies.
Regis Philbin: This isn't it.
Everybody: What? Come on.
Barney: That's outrageous.
Regis Philbin: That is unbelievable. Wait. This is it!
Marshall: You were just freakin' teasing us.
Regis Philbin: No, really.