ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"That's your takeaway?"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzMystery vs. History

By the fall of 2011, technology had taken a lot of the intrigue out of life.The Internet had everyone's wall of information.Nothing was a mystery anymore.But, kids, there was a time before that, way back in the dark ages.

intrigue ‰A–d

Are you people insane?! The most popular food in America is the cheeseburger!

No way! It's pizza!

Are we forgetting about a certain Mr.Furter, first name Frank?

Um, what did every kid bring in their lunchbox every day till grade eight? Pancakes with maple syrup.

Thanks, Canada.We're looking for a food the average American eats.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh! Chinese food.

And then came the smartphone.

Hey, remember when we were arguing about the most popular food? It's bread.

Hm.

And the barroom debate was dead.

You guys are idiots!

Okay, not completely dead.

You are seriously telling me you don't want to open that envelope and find out if you're having a boy or a girl?

Nope.Dr.Sonya only gave us this in case we wanted to know.

But we don't.Lilypad and I are just gonna wait till that baby pops out and enjoy the big surprise.

Look, I have pretended to be a licensed therapist enough times to know there is something unhealthy about your not wanting to find out.Back me up here, Kev.

No, no, no, no, no.This real therapist won't risk upsetting his wonderful new girlfriend by analyzing her wonderful friends.No matter how mentally unbalanced they may be.

No matter how ‚Ç‚ń‚ȂɁ`‚Ĺ‚ ‚낤‚Ć‚ŕ

I hear you.

I don't think you do.

We just don't want to burden our little angel with all kinds of gender-specific expectations.Boys can do ballet; girls can play football.

burden ‚ɏd‚˘Ó”C‚𕉂킚‚é

Hell, the Green Bay Packers have been proving that for years.That would've gotten a big laugh at a sports bar.

Well, I say define gender roles early.All the other girls got a pretty dress and a cake when they turned 14.Me

I want to go home, Daddy!

That direction is nothing but wolves.And 40 kilometers that way is the mining town of Smithers.I'd take my chances with the wolves.I'll see you in three days.

Well, wait, wh-what am I supposed to eat?

Hey, you've got a knife, the forest is full of animals-what do you want, a buffet?

Papa!

Happy birthday, son!

Got any thoughts on that, Doc?

If you guys think I'm going near that, you're crazy.

Why'd you emphasize "you're"?

No reason.You're pretty.

By the way, do you guys want to come over tomorrow night for sangria and tapas?

Si.Muchas gracias.

That sounds awesome.

Great.We're also gonna paint the nursery.Oh, and a quick update on the sangria and tapas-that's cancelled.

nursery Žq‹Ÿ•”‰Ž

Guess what smooth son of a bitch just picked up a girl at the bar?

Barney, you're cheating on Nora already?

No, guys, it's me.Janet McIntyre.Struck up a conversation at the bar while ordering, she guessed bread right away, we laughed, it was a thing, boom, going out tomorrow night.

strike up ‰Î‚đ‚‚Ż‚é

So, she said yes just like that?

Just like that.

There's something wrong with her.

No, no, no, no.Stop it.They always do this.Every time I go on a first date, they snap right into research mode.It started by accident.

Hello?

Ted, we did a little Internet research on your Mia Plumley.

We just sent you a picture of her from six months ago.

I don't understand-is Mia standing behind this morbidly obese wo Oh, my God!

morbidly •a“I‚É obese ‘ž‚č‰ß‚Ź‚Ě

They had cookies and cream.And what you were saying about how women feel they have to starve themselves makes so much sense.Ooh, hot dogs.Score!

After that, background checks became standard operating procedure.

The date with Nadine went great.Unless you guys found something.

Are you sitting down?

No.

She's wanted in Florida on crystal meth charges.

She breeds pit bulls for dog fighting.

Also, the FBI

What's this link?

Oh, she also writes online movie reviews.Anyway, she's still married to a death row inmate convicted

death row inmate Ž€ŒYŽú

She gave Annie Hall two out of ten stars? "Slow and overrated"?

Really? That's your takeaway?

takeaway ƒ}ƒCƒiƒX

It's the Wood Man at the height of his powers.The way he broke the fourth wall by talking directly to camera? People have been ripping that off ever since.

Can you believe this guy?

Paula Vincenzo.She's in the bathroom.What's wrong with her?

Total psycho.Her Facebook wall has a link to a site about dating inanimate objects.For most of last year, she was engaged to a mini fridge.

And there's pictures: her and the mini fridge on a hike, her and the mini fridge in wine country, here's the mini fridge meeting her parents.

Run like the wind.

So want to go back to my place?

Yeah, all right.

Well, thanks to us, you ran screaming from that freak show, right?

Absolutely.Cuckoo!

So what's the problem? You need us.

No, I don't, okay? I don't want a background check.I want adventure and excitement.Look, if it's a choice between mystery and history, I want mystery.In fact

Ted, I wouldn't

Uh, Janet.I have a theory.People don't get the chance to just discover each other anymore, so here's my idea.Before we go out tomorrow, let's not do any prior Internet research on each other.It sounds like I'm hiding something horrible, doesn't it?

I'm pretty sure you're a serial killer.

I'm not.I'm not.It's just, you know, like, when my parents met, they didn't have the Internet-they just went out on a blind date and fell in love.

That's nice.And they're still together?

Right up to the divorce.The point is, I'd love to get to know you in person, not on my computer.

I like that.What started out sounding really creepy turned out really sweet.

That's kind of my move.

And she was on board with the whole "no Internet" thing?

She loved it.

The bitch is hiding something.

The bitch is totally hiding something.

Hey, Ted, before you leave-is Janet McIntyre M-A-C or M-C?

For the last time, I don't want to know anything about her before the date.

You might want to see this, Ted-naked pictures.

That's not Janet.

Who, now?

Seriously if you guys respect me as a friend stop looking.

Well, Ted was pretty clear there, so let's shut those laptops and go help Lily and Marshall, just like we promised.Let's leave the laptops here and go paint that baby room.Without laptops.

Ž¸”s

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