Ted: I'm going to make a phone call. Hey, it's me. listen, you have to come over here and make pies.
Barney: Yeah, I'll be there, absolutely.
Ted: Oh, awesome, you're a lifesaver. It's still kind of weird being alone with Robin, but if you were here...
Barney: Hey, say no more. I mean, when I pulled you out of that burning wreckage, I wasn't doing it to have a battleship named after me. But if you insist, yes, I'll be there for the christening.
wreckage 難破船 christening 命名式
Ted: You're hitting on someone right now, aren't you?
hit on someone まくしたてる
Barney: No, I'm not going to wear the medal of honor. That would just be tacky.
Ted: So you're not coming to make pies.
Barney: No, no. Thank you, mr. President. Sorry.
Narator: After a very long night, it was finally the big holiday. Sorry, the two big holidays.
Lily: Oh, marshall, are you working on the cranberry sauce?
Marshall: In a minute, baby. I've only got so many hands. You see what I got going on here? They're turkeys, but they're also hands, because later, we're going to eat turkey... and then I'm going to slap you in your face.
Barney: Please, you took out all the suspense. In a horror movie, the killer does not grab a bullhorn and announce, "Attention unsupervised teens here at the lake house at precisely 3:00 a.m., I'm gonna jump out of that closet right there and hack you all up with a machete. P.S. fire is my one weakness."
unsupervised 監視されていない precisely 正確に machete マシェティ
Robin: Hey, ted.
Ted: Hey, happy Thanksgiving.
Robin: You, too. Is Lily in the kitchen?
Ted and Robin: Something really weird happened last night.
Marshall: What do you mean something weird happened last night?
Ted: You may not realize this, but since we broke up, Robin and I have never really been alone together.
Ted: So we're in the kitchen, starting on the pies, and we realize, we don't have a damn thing to say to each other.
Ted: I mean, you can't talk about how close you used to be. You can't talk about how close you're not now. You just feel like everything you say is gonna make things worse.
Barney: Exactly. And you know why? Because you don't want to hurt someone you really care about, especially around the holidays. I mean, what decent human being would want to cause any kind of emotional or physical pain...
Marshall: You're still getting slapped.
Ted: I wanted to leave, but I couldn't stick her with making all the pies by herself. She was exhausted.
Robin: I yawned like a million times trying to get him to leave.
Lily: Yeah, some people just can't take a hint. By the way, I'm really swamped in here.
Robin: I kept looking at the clock and sighing... totally clueless.
sigh 溜息 clueless 手がかりがない
Lily: Uh-huh. I'm not sure I have time to mash those potatoes, you're standing right next to.
Robin: And then Ted does the thing that he always does when there's an awkward silence.
Lily: Yep. masher's right there, next to the pot.
Robin: He panics and says the first thing that pops into his head.
Robin: Hey, did you know that the first pies in recorded history came from Ancient Egypt?
Ted: Remember last year's Thanksgiving, when we had sex seven times?
Barney: Ooh. terrible.
Ted: What?! I thought it would break the ice.
Robin: I'd already broken the ice with my cool pie fact. then he makes it ten times more awkward.
Lily: How do you respond to something like that?
Robin: Did you know that the egyptian pyramids can be seen from space? Probably?
Ted: Ooh, the oven's pre-heated!
Robin: Okay, um... the pecan pie is gonna take the longest. Why don't we put that one in first?
Ted: Pecan pie? Why are we making that?
Robin: Um, it's my favorite.
Ted: You're allergic.
Robin: I know. I just like smelling it. It's like eating with your nose.
Ted: So we're making a pie for Bob.
Barney: She's got you making pies for this guy?
Marshall: That is a real slap in the face.
Ted: You know, you could have just told me it was for Bob.
Robin: Yeah, I-I just thought it might upset you.
Ted: Upset me? Wait a second. Do you think that......Do you think that I'm jealous of Bob?
Robin: I don't know. Is it so ridiculous to think that you might be?
Ted: Because he's a thousand years old.
Lily: No, Ted! What are you doing?
Ted: The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is that we can only talk about the first Thanksgiving,
Robin: Come on.
Ted: The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is because I heard noah gave him shotgun in the ark.
Ted: The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is that I'm just an architect, but he discovered fire. How do you top that?
Robin: He's 41! Why are you bashing on him so hard?
Ted: I'm not. I'm just joking around. That's what friends do.
Robin: It's mean.
Ted: Well, how come we're all allowed to bust on barney when he dates some skanktron, but when you sleep with the crypt keeper's dad, I'm not allowed to say a word?
Robin: First of all, Bob and I are not sleeping together. We're just dating. Secondly, have I said one word about the parade of dubious conquests you've been marching past me the last few months? One of whom got you a butterfly tattoo?
dubious 疑わしく思う conquests 征服
Ted: Hey, that is...
Robin: And if you and I are such good friends... why is baking a pie for Bob so weird?
Ted: Yeah, if you and I are such good friends, why couldn't you just tell me that's what we were doing? Okay, maybe we should talk about this later. I-I should get going.
Robin: Well, what are we doing? It's Thanksgiving.
Ted: I don't know. I'm sorry. This is stupid.
Robin: I'm sorry, too. Of course we're friends. I'm glad we're friends.
Ted: me, too.
Lily, Marshall and Barney: You guys slept together last night?
Lily: That is a terrible idea!
Marshall: Horrible idea.
Barney: Relapse five! That's where we high-five, then it's awkward for a little bit... and then we high-five again!
Lily: What the hell were you doing? Let's review you and Ted broke up six months ago. You're dating another man...
Robin: You are correct, Sir.
Lily:...who's coming to my thanksgiving today...
Robin: That is a truth-fact.
Lily:...an event Ted is also attending.
Lily: Why are you trying to destroy American Thanksgiving?!
Robin: Oh, Lily, it's not as bad as it sounds. Bob and I aren't that serious, and what happened last night with Ted was a fluke.
Lily: Well, did you guys at least talk about it?
Ted:: There's office material...
Robin: I hear something burning...