Barney: Uhm, smells delicious.
Lily: Thank you. There was no food in the fridge, so I picked up... What are you doing?
Barney: Lily, what was the first rule again?
Lily: "Don't change anything"?
Barney: And what was the second rule?
Lily: There was no second rule.
Barney: Exactly! There was only one rule and you broke it.
Lily: I bought groceries. That counts as changing something?
Barney: Lily, if I wanted a fridge full of groceries or fresh coffee in the morning, I'd be in a relationship. But I don't want to be in a relationship. That's why I make it crystal-clear to every girl that walks through that door that this is not a place to leave a toothbrush. This is not a place to leave a contact lens case. This is a place to leave. Come on, I'll give you a tour. Uh, no flash photography please. Bienvenido to the bedroom. Dig this King-sized bed, full-sized blanket, one pillow. Everything about this bed says "our work here is done." Next we say bienvenue to the bathroom. What, only one towel? What, no hairdryer? You know where I keep that stuff? Your place. Beat it. And the coup de grace... Yeah, that's right. Patent-pending. And willkommen to the hallway. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn...
crystal-clear 一点の曇りもない Patent-pending 特許出願中の
Lily: Marshall doesn't have porn.
Barney: Aww, that's sweet. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn, I had mine professionally lit. Girls see this, they can't get out of here fast enough.
Lily: And if that doesn't drive them away, there's always your life-sized storm-trooper.
life-sized 実物大の storm-trooper ストームトルーパー
Barney: No,that's just awesome. So you see, whenever a girl wakes up here, I never have to tell her to go build her nest somewhere else. My apartment does it for me.
Marshall: God, I love brunch.
Brad: Oh, damn... The zucchini bread is ridonculous.
ridonculous =Functionally similar to the word "ridiculous," this word is often used in its place for extra emphasis.
Marshall: This isn't weird, right?
Brad: I sort of thought it might be, but it totally isn't. Oh and by the way, you totally did not oversell the eggs benny.
Marshall: Right? Right?
Brad: I mean, why can't two single bros go out and rock brunch Sunday morning-style?
Marshall: Exactly. Thank you, that's exactly what I've been saying.
Brad: This must be destiny.
Marshall: What are you talking about?
Brad: I have two tickets for Mamma Mia! friday night. You like Abba, right? What am I saying? Who doesn't? Anyway, I was gonna take Kara, but now it's all you and me. We're gonna do Broadway, bro style. What do you say?
Barney: Hey. Did the cold wake you?
Girl: No,I've just been watching you sleep.
Barney: Oh,did you try and take a shower? I'm sorry, I only have one clean towel.
Girl: I don't buy into the myth that we need to shower every day.
Barney: Okay. I'd offer you some coffee, but I don't have any, so you're gonna have to...
Girl: I'm boycotting coffee. You may as well drink the tears of a colombian peasant farmer. God, I love this place. Good thing I don't have a job because I could stay here all day.
may as well 〜した方がよさそうだ
Barney: I think I left something on the bookshelf. Whoops. Oh, no, oh, look. Oh, I'm disgusting.
Girl: Wow, you're open about your sexuality and that's one of the reasons I love you. Did I just say that? Oh well. Cat's out of the bag. I love you.
let the cat out of the bag 秘密が漏れてしまう
Barney: Whoa, uh, okay. Beep beep. Backing up, um...
Lily: Barney... Oh!
Girl: Oh my god! Are you married? Is this your wife?
Barney: What? No. Yes!
Girl: You son of a bitch! I can't believe I let you enter my sacred temple.
Barney: Come on, baby. please, no. You don't understand. What have I done? This is the worst. How could you...? You're not going anywhere. Live claritin clear. Wow, that was close. That hippie chick wouldn't leave. She was ready to squat here.
Lily: Well, she'd have to with your spring-loaded toilet seat, wouldn't she?
Barney: She was freakishly immune to everything in my apartment... Except you. You're better than porn.
freakishly 気まぐれに immune 免疫になっている
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: How would you like to extend your stay here? All you'd have to do is pretend to be my wife, and scare off the occasional one-night stand. I know,I know. You've got your ethics. You've got your principles...
ethics 倫理学 principle 道理
Lily: I'll do it.
Lily: Barney,you've clearly got some serious mother issues that have left you the emotional equivalent of a scavenging sewer rat. But, in my other apartment, I would be living with an actual scavenging sewer rat, so you win.
equivalent 同等 scavenging ごみあさり sewer 下水道
Barney: I'll take it.
Ted: Mamma mia!?
Marshall: Mamma mia!. You know what? It's supposed to be a great musical, okay? It won all sorts of Tonies and stuff.
Ted: No, totally. It sounds like a really, really fun, exciting, third date.
Robin: Ooh, third date. You know what that means.
Marshall: It is not a date,okay. It's just two bros taking in a Broadway show.
Ted: You bros going to get dinner beforehand?
Marshall: We might grab a steak, yeah.
Ted: Where at?
Marshall: Cafe l'amour. Brad says the food is really good there, okay?
Robin: Sounds like Brad's got quite the night planned out. You better bring your "A" game. That means no granny panties.
ethics 倫理学 granny 道理 granny おばあさん
Marshall: All right, you know what? You two are just threatened because I'm a single guy moving in on your couples' stuff. Well, guess what? It's my territory now. I'm peeing all over brunches, fancy dinners and musicals. That's right. Brad and I are taking back Broadway.
threatened 脅かされている move in on 干渉する
Ted: What are you going to wear?
Marshall: I was thinking like this collared shirt and these pin... Oh, you know what? Shut up.
Barney: Can you pass the arts and leisure? Can you pass the arts and leisure?
Girl: I just did.
Lily: Honey, I'm... Barney, what the hell is going on here?
Barney: Lily, I can explain...
Lily: How could you? In our own home? You bastard!
Girl: I'm so sorry. I-i didn't know he had...
Lily: Just get out. This is what I get after I worked as a stripper for four years to put you through medical school? I got breast implants for you. I... I was just about to turn on the tears.
Barney: Brava. That was incredible. And that slap was genius. You did not hold back.
hold back 控える、自制する
Lily: Yeah, that I just always wanted to do.
Barney: Fair enough. I have to say, it's kind of nice having food around here for a change.
Lily: You know... Oh nah, never mind.
Barney: What? You're my wife. You can tell me anything.
Lily: Well,if you really wanted to sell this ruse, we should try to make this place a little more... You know, homey. Like... Like a woman would actually live here.
Barney: What did you have in mind?