ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I can vouch for that."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzThe Front Porch

You broke me and Karen up? Are you insane? What gives you the right to do that?

Ted,I did it for your own good.You just weren't seeing how awful she was.She failed the Front Porch Test.

What's the Front Porch Test?

Ted,you,me,and Marshall have been best friends since college.Think about how much we all mean to each other.So when I picture the future, I picture us all together.How we'll all be retired, sipping tea on the front porch of our beach house, playing bridge all day.

Okay,bridges are wild.Four of a bridge beats a royal bridge.

I see your bridge and I raise you three bridges.

Bridge! I win!

You have no idea how to play bridge,do you?

We're gonna take a class.

It's important to stay active.

So whenever you've been dating somebody for a while, I do the Front Porch Test.You know,how is this person gonna fit in with our group over the years? And when I think about Karen there

Bridge! I win!

Fantastic.Another game of bridge.Don't read a book or anything.

Look,dear dolphins.

They seem happy.I guess the chemical runoff from this elitist beachfront property hasn't rotted out their blowholes yet.It will.That water will kill you.It is a toxic deathtrap.

runoff —Źo elitist ă‘wŠK‹‰‚Ě rot •…”s‚ˇ‚é blowholes •Ź‹CE

I'm gonna take a dip.

I'll join you.

Karen failed the Front Porch Test.She had to go.

I can't believe you did that.

Ted,think about how awesome you,me,and Marshall are.Seriously think about it.

We're pretty awesome.

We're totally awesome! So whoever you marry, whoever joins Team Awesome, the bar is set pretty damn high.Look, I'm not saying what I did was right,but

You're better off without her.

better off ‚ŕ‚Á‚Ć‚˘‚˘ó‘Ô‚É‚Č‚é

And if Clarence the angel says it's true,it must be true.

Okay,you know what? Fine,make your little jokes.

Seriously,why would you wear something like that?

Lots of reasons.

I bet you can't name five.

One: No need to wear anything underneath.

I can vouch for that.Will you cross your legs,buddy?

vouch for •ŰŘ‚ˇ‚é

Two: Sexy.

I can vouch for that.Will you uncross your legs, buddy?

Three: My Grandpa Olaf wore one and he lived to be 107.Four: No elastic waistband leaving its judgmental pink teeth marks around my Thanksgiving belly.And five: Every night when I go to sleep, it's the freest, most wonderful feeling in the world.I feel like I'm flying.So that's how I go to bed every night: happy, weightless.with a heart full of joy.What about you?

elastic ƒSƒ€•R

I have to lie perfectly still so I don't wrinkle my suit-jamas.But at least I'm not wearing a dress.

wrinkle ‚ľ‚í‚­‚ż‚á‚É‚ˇ‚é

So how mad are you?

I don't know.I mean, I guess if you guys feel that strongly about Karen,then maybe it was for the best.

I really am sorry.I hated doing that again, but Karen had to go.

"Again"? Wait.How many times have you broken me up with a girlfriend?

Never! Six.

Like who?

No one! Angie.Sophomore year.She was just using you to get back at her ex, and you clearly didn't see it, so one day when she was taking a nap

get back at •œQ‚ˇ‚é

Creed? Oh,my God, I have to break up with her.

So that's where my Creed CD went.

Who else?

Remember that weird sci-fi girl who wanted you to propose after,like,two months? You barely even liked her, but you were still thinking about it,so

Listen,Ted, you're great, and this is so difficult, but I think we're looking for different things.So,live long and prosper.Or whatever.

prosper —Í‹­‚­Ź’ˇ‚ˇ‚é

That was you? This is insane!

Ted,I did those things to help you.You're a commitment junkie.You fall in love with these women, even if they don't deserve you.

What if one of those women was supposed to be the mother of my children?

If there was ever the tiniest chance of that, I swear I didn't do anything.Like with Victoria or Stella.

Or Robin.Or Robin.

Robin,Robin.

Did you break us up,too? Did you break us up,too?

Stop talking to me like I'm your enemy! You weep for these women, but you have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that those breakups, while tragic, probably saved you from a crappy and very expensive first marriage.

weep for `‚đ”ß‚ľ‚Ţ tragic ”ߌ€‚Ě

Did you break me and Robin up?

You don't want the truth because deep down, you want me out there watching out for you.And deep down, you know that none of those women were ever gonna be the mother of your children.

deep down S‚Ě’ę‚Ĺ‚Í

Did you break me and Robin up?

I did what I had to do.

Did you break me and Robin up?

You're damn right I did!

Marshall, your grandpa Olaf was a wise man.

You broke me and Robin up?

No,it's not

I cannot believe this.I need another drink.

You know,I feel a little breeze down there.It's nice.

Oh,you think that's something? Stand over this heating vent.It's like your junk is on a tropical island.

vent ”­ŽU‚ˇ‚é

Little Barney says "Mahalo."

Seriously,what is wrong with you,Lily? How could you do that?

I did this because I care about you!

I am so glad that is the one you watched!

Dear God,what happened to you?

You didn't watch my show?

The show.Sorry.Something special happen?

Same old,same old.

Same old ‚ą‚ę‚Ü‚Ĺ‚Ç‚¨‚č‚Ě

Lily just told us that she broke you and me up.

What? Broke-broke us up? What does that even mean? And why are these guys wearing nightgowns?

Nightshirts.

Nightshirts.

It's a nightshirt.

It's called a nightshirt,Robin.

Turns out Lily has taken it upon herself to sabotage many of my relationships, including ours.

take it upon oneself to –đ–Ú‚đ”ƒ‚Á‚ďo‚é

No.Robin was different.I didn't want you two to break up, but you wanted completely different things out of life and refused to deal with it.I could just picture that front porch.

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‚ą‚ę‚̓iƒCƒgƒVƒƒƒc‚ĆŒÄ‚Î‚ę‚Ä‚éAƒƒrƒ“B
ƒŠƒŠ[‚͉´‚Ě—öˆ¤ŠÖŒW‚đ‚Ô‚ż‰ó‚ˇ–đ–Ú‚đ”ƒ‚Á‚ďo‚Ä‚˘‚˝‚ą‚Ć‚Ş•Ş‚Š‚Á‚˝B‰´‚˝‚ż‚Ě‚ŕ‚̂ȁB
ˆá‚¤Bƒƒrƒ“‚͈á‚Á‚˝BŽ„‚Í‚ ‚Č‚˝‚˝‚ż“ńl‚đ•Ş‚Š‚ę‚Ä—~‚ľ‚­‚Č‚Š‚Á‚˝B‚ž‚Ż‚ǁA‚ ‚Č‚˝‚˝‚ż‚͕ʂ̐lś‚đ—~‚ľ‚Ş‚Á‚˝B‚ť‚ľ‚āAŒ‹Ľ‚ˇ‚é‚Ě‚đ‹‘”Ű‚ľ‚˝BŽ„‚̓tƒƒ“ƒgƒ|[ƒ`‚Ĺ•`‚­‚ą‚Ć‚Ş‚Ĺ‚Ť‚˝B

Ą‰ń‚́AƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚ÍI can vouch for that. ‚É‚ľ‚Ä‚¨‚­B