ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"We're settling this once and for all."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzThe Perfect Cocktail

Lily: This stupid feud isn't going to end until Marshall and Barney finally talk about their feelings, cry, and then hug it out like they do on Oprah.

feud R‘ˆ

Robin: Man, what are we going to do without her?

Lily: Oh...Oprah.

Robin: Wait, you know what, these guys are not going to get all mushy sober. We need to get these bitches drunk.

mushy ˆ¤î‚đž‚ß‰ß‚Ź‚˝ sober ’n‚É‘Ť‚Ş•t‚˘‚˝

Lily: Yes, but the right kind of drunk. Uh... we should go with something mellow. Maybe red wine?

Robin: Oh, I don't know. Red wine has kind of an odd effect on Barney. He reaches a point of sad clarity.

have an odd effect on ‚¨‚Š‚ľ‚ȉe‹ż‚đ—^‚Ś‚é clarity –ž—Ä‚ł

All: Ten, nine, eight...

Barney: I'm a B-plus. My whole life, I was hoping to be an A, and I'm a B-plus. And I'm okay with that.

All: Happy New Year!

Robin: If we want them to open up, I say we go straight-up gin.

open up S‚đŠJ‚­

Lily: Oh... last time Marshall got gin-drunk was at that douchey bar Barney likes to go to. Marshall almost got in a fight that night.

douchey Œ™‚Č

Marshall: Look at this meatball. He's headed right towards me, showing me no respect. Well, if he wants to play chicken, this rooster ain't backing down! Oh. Mirror.

Lily: How about martinis?

Robin: Absolutely not. I'm not going anywhere near you and a martini.

Lily: Why not?

Lily: Ooh... You know what would be stupid? If we made out. That would be so stupid. Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out.

Robin: Every time.

Lily: I only say that because it would be so stupid if we did. So stupid...

Robin: Uh-huh.

Lily: Oh, yeah? Well... what about you and absinthe?

absinthe ƒAƒuƒTƒ“

Marshall: I don't know. We could have water, soda, purple stuff...

Robin: We're a dream a baby's having. We're a dream a baby's having.

Lily: I keep telling you, that didn't happen.

Robin: It happened, and it changed me. How about daiquiris?

Lily: Maybe. When Marshall has daiquiris... he gets really into how beautiful he is.

Marshall: Hey. I dare you guys to dare us to make out.

Ted: Hey, Marsh, you know that's another mirror, right?

Lily: Peppermint schnapps?

Robin: No. Peppermint schnapps turns Barney into Richard Dawson.

Lily: Who?

Robin: The crazy old host of Family Feud, who greeted women by kissing them on the mouth.

greet Œ}‚Ś‚é

Barney: Hey there, darlin'. How you doin'? Ah, is this your sister? Mmm... Beautiful. Mmm...

Ted: Hey, where are our chicken wings?

Barney: Show me chicken wings!

All: Good order, Ted! Good order!

Ted: Okay, I'm gonna go pick up Zoey, then we're off. See you Sunday.

Lily: Oh, wait, Ted. Do you have a specific reaction to any kind of alcohol?

Ted: Bourbon. When I drink bourbon... I get weirdly good at beatboxing.

Ted: Peace, I'm out.

Lily: Yeah, Ted, I hate to tell you, but the bourbon only makes it sound good to you.

Ted: Peace. I'm out.

Ted: You had to take that away from me, didn't you?

Robin: Well, enjoy Martha's Vineyard. Hopefully by the time you get back, we'll be allowed back into MacLaren's.

Ted: What do you mean?

Lily: Barney and Marshall's feud got us banned from the bar. We lost our booth.

Robin: Stop.

Ted: Man, how did things get so screwed up?

Narator: Of course I knew the answer to that. I was dating her. But I wasn't about to ruin our first big romantic weekend away by bringing up the one topic we agreed was completely off-limits.

off-limits “Ľ‚ݍž‚ń‚Ĺ‚Í‚˘‚Ż‚Č‚˘

Ted: You and The Arcadian are ruining my life!

Zoey: What?I thought we weren't talking about...

Ted: We're talking about this. Look, I can handle you trying to prevent me from fulfilling a life-long dream. That's just being in a relationship. But now? You turn my best friend against me?

Zoey: Marshall made his own choice. Why aren't you mad at him?

Ted: Because he's going through a lot right now. He, he's looking for something to believe in, and you took advantage of that. You're, you're just like those Internet swindlers who tricked him into paying 300 bucks for a lock of Sasquatch fur.

swindler ź‹\Žt

Zoey: You cannot compare The Arcadian to a Ziploc bag full of Turkish armpit hair. The Arcadian is a beautiful, magnificent hotel.

Ted: Okay. You know what? We're settling this once and for all.

settle things once and for all ŠŽ‘S‚ÉŒˆ’…‚đ‚‚Ż‚é

Zoey: Okay.

Lily: We've cross-referenced every alcohol with Marshall and Barney's reaction. What's the right drink for this situation?

Robin: Well, they're not talking. They're not even looking at each other. That reminds me of those awkward Sunday dinners with my mom, my dad and his mistress. Families, right?

Lily: I-I guess. That... seems like a whole other thing. We need a drink that will start a fight.

Barney: Do you know what I had to do to get you that job?

Marshall: Do you know what I had to do to will myself to show up every day?

Barney: What, wear a wrinkled suit and not give a damn about what your hair looked like?

wrinkled ‚ľ‚í‚­‚ż‚á‚Ě

Marshall: I showed up with wet hair once! Once!

Barney: Oh, my God.

Ted: Well, here we are. I had a reservation at a four-star inn overlooking the ocean but, uh... How can that compete with such a beautiful, magnificent hotel? Welcome to The Arcadian. So here's the deal. If you can last until sunrise in your precious Arcadian, I'll join your side.

Zoey: You're on. This place is fantastic. They even left a chocolate on the pillow.

Ted: That's not a chocolate.

Robin: Okay, now we need to get them something that will make them emotionally vulnerable and completely, pathetically honest.

vulnerable ‚‚Ť‚₡‚˘ pathetically ’É‚Ü‚ľ‚˘‚Ů‚Ç‚É

Lily: Yeah, we need a drink that, that takes subtext and turns it into text. Yeah.

Marshall: See, ever since the death of my father, I have been drawn to the idea of preservation. That's why The Arcadian speaks to me.

Barney: Ever since my father walked out on my childhood, I've had serious abandonment issues. You walking out on me like that...

Marshall: Oh God, I didn't even think of that...

Barney: It made me wonder, "What could I have done to make him stay?"

Marshall: Look, you didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you, Barney.

Barney: That's what everyone keeps saying but people just keep leaving me.

Robin: Wow. That got real o'clock.

Lily: Yeah. We need to get them up and having fun.

Robin: Dance, my puppets, dance!

Lily: Now do you see why I'm always interfering in other people's lives?

Robin: Oh, God, totally!

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